談?dòng)⒄Z寫作基本功

一、英語寫作中的有效句子及驗(yàn)證

英語寫作是書面（文字）交流手段，有它本身的表達(dá)（交流）方式和準(zhǔn)則。僅從句子而言，初學(xué)寫作的人，首先要練寫語法正確的句子，然而語法正確的句子不一定就等于寫作中的有效句子（Effective Sentences），寫作有寫作的藝術(shù)。何謂寫作中的有效句子？歸納起來，我們要從三方面審查自己所寫出的句子是否有效。

（一）要檢查句子的語法是否正確，語法不正確的句子，絕對談不上是有效句子。

諸如：

1.檢查句子中代詞指代是否清楚。如：Dr. Frye told Dr. Anderson that he should operate immediately.（句子中he究竟指誰？是Dr. Anderson該開刀，還是Dr. Frye?）。改為：Dr. Frye told Dr. Anderson to operate immediately.

2. 檢查并列結(jié)構(gòu)是否有錯(cuò)誤。如：

Mary needs a coffee break and resting for fifteen minutes.（并列連詞連結(jié)的兩部分不平衡）改為：Mary needs a coffee break and a fifteen minutes’rest.

3. 檢查修飾詞是否錯(cuò)位。如：

A car drove down the street decked with ribbons.（修飾詞錯(cuò)位）改為：

A car decked with ribbons drove down the street.

4. 檢查非謂語動(dòng)詞有無垂懸錯(cuò)誤。如：

a.Reading，the doorbell rang.（分詞垂懸）改為：Reading，I heard the doorbell ring.

b.From attending class，the principles of chemistry were made clear.（動(dòng)名詞垂懸）改為：From attending class，we came to understand the principles of chemistry.

c.To learn French cooking，a lot ofpractice is necessary.（動(dòng)詞不定式垂懸）改為：To learn French cooking，a student needs a lot of practice.

d.While running down the stairs，the clock struck twelve.（省略垂懸）改為：While running down the stairs，I heard the clock struck twelve.

e.Having come of age，I took my son into partnership with me.（懸空修飾詞是寫作之大忌）改為：Having come of age，my son entered into partnership with me.或When my son came of age，I took him into partnership.

（二）要仔細(xì)琢磨句子在語義上，修飾方面意思是否準(zhǔn)確完整，主次是否分明，重點(diǎn)是否突出，邏輯性是否強(qiáng)，措詞是否言簡意賅。有些句子即使語法正確，也不一定是寫作中的有效句子。

1. 有效句子要準(zhǔn)確完整。請對比：

a.The little boy was so scared.（不完整）

比較：The little boy was so scared that he cried out.（完整）

b.To read a novel is a thing.（不清楚）

比較：To read an English novel is a hard thing.（準(zhǔn)確清楚）

c.Bernard Shaw was one of the bestknown playwrights. （不完整）

比較：Bernard Shaw was one of the bestknown playwrights of England.（完整）

2. 有效句子只能有一個(gè)中心思想（或重心），即要主次分明，重點(diǎn)突出。請對比：

a.John comes from a large， lower-class family， and he enrolled in college this fall.（主次不分明）

比較：John， who comes from a large， lower-class family， enrollcd in college this fall.（主次分明）

b.Tom was grestly surprised by the news. He immediately telephoned his parents.（主次不分明）

比較：Greatly surprised by the news， Tom immediately telephoned his parents.（有主有次）

c.Mr. Edwards is the manager of the store， and he is a city councilman.（主次不分明）

比較：Mr. Edward， the manager of the-store， is a city councilman.（有主有次）

另外，請對比下列句子，學(xué)習(xí)如何才能表達(dá)突出重點(diǎn)：

a.The guards were fully armed， and they expected trouble.（平淡無力）

比較：Expecting trouble， the guards were fully armed.（重點(diǎn)突出）

b.Knut Hamsun was a Norwegian novelist，and he won a Nobel Prize.（平淡無力）

比較：A Nobel Prize winner，Knut Hamsun was a Norwegian novelist. （重點(diǎn)突出）

c.I have never seen such a beautiful girl as she is in all my life.（語氣弱）

比較：Never in all my life have I seen such a beautiful girl as she is.（語氣較強(qiáng)）

d.I was seen by most of the girls. （語氣弱）

比較：Most of the girls saw me.（語氣強(qiáng)）

e.The studedt who cheats in an examination is cheating only himself ultimately.（修飾詞的位置不當(dāng)）

比較：The student who cheats in an examination is ultimately cheating only himself.（修飾詞位置恰當(dāng)?shù)仄鸬搅酥攸c(diǎn)突出的作用）

3. 有效句子要有思路，邏輯性強(qiáng)。

1）句子結(jié)構(gòu)上的混亂

a.A gentleman farmer， his wardrobe ranges from faultlessly tailored suits to four-buckle rubber boots（這種表達(dá)似乎a gentlemanfarmer 和wardrobe（衣柜）是同位語，不合邏輯）改為：

As he is a genteman farmer， his wardrobe ranges from…

b.We were tired of traveling is the main reason we came here.（含糊不清）改為：

We came here mainly because we were tired of traveling.（清晰）

c.I was all alone was that truly frightened me. （含糊不清）改為：

What truly frightened me was that I was all alone.(清晰）

2）思路不清還表現(xiàn)在寫出的句子要么錯(cuò)在句中人稱和含糊轉(zhuǎn)換上，要么錯(cuò)在句中語態(tài)、時(shí)態(tài)和語氣的隨意變換，如：

a.If one really wishes to sample fine cooking， try that restaurant on the corner.（人稱和數(shù)含糊轉(zhuǎn)換）用正規(guī)文體改為：

If one really wishes to sample superior-cooking， he or she should try the restaurant on the corner.

或一般說法：If you really want to try some good eating， try that restaurant on the corner.

b.We were acquainted with his brother，and his eighty-year-old father was also well known to us.（語態(tài)不一致且句子別扭）改為：

We knew both his brother and his eighty year-old father.

c.If more emphasis was stressed in college on extempore speaking（即席講話），the graduating student would be better prepared to face people of social prominence and college professors.（語態(tài)不一致且笨拙）

改為：College should stress courses in extempore speaking in order to give their graduates more confidence and social ease.

d.After planning the trip I had thought deserved a little credit for its success.（時(shí)態(tài)不一致）

改為：After having planned the trip， I thought I deserved a little credit for its suceess.

e.Come here and you must take your books with you.（語氣不一致）

改為：Come here and take your books with you.

4. 有效句子要措詞準(zhǔn)確且簡明扼要。如：

a.She was listening intensely to the lecture.（用詞不當(dāng)）

改為：She was listening intensively to the lecture.

b.An exciting factor of our summer vacation was a trip to Japan.（用詞不恰當(dāng)）

改為：An exciting event of our summer vacation was a trip to Japan.

c.The reason why I was so upset was because she seemed so angry with me.（用詞不當(dāng)且不簡潔）

改為：The reason why I was so upser was that she seemed so angry with me.

或：I was upset because she seemed so angry with me.

d.This spirit of cooperation is essential and necessary for anyone to have in order to get along with other people， and this is a quality that Jim had.（冗贅句）

改為：Jim had the spinit of cooperation which is necessary if one wishes to get along with people.（簡潔明了）

e.She was completely and totally pleased by the very fine report that the children gave her.（冗贅句)

改為：She was pleased with the children’s fine report.(簡潔明了)

（三）要注意寫作時(shí)書寫標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的問題。

1. 要防止犯逗號連接錯(cuò)誤。我們學(xué)生慣于每寫完一句話后，用逗號表示停頓一下。但在英語的寫作中，用逗號連接意思完整的兩個(gè)句子，叫標(biāo)點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤。如：

a.We couldn’t decide upon a new car， there were many attractive models.

改為：a)We couldn’t decide upon a new car， for there were so many attractive models.

b)We couldn’t decide upon a new car， because there were so many attractive models.

c)We couldn’t decide upon a new car；there were so many attractive models.

d)We couldn’t decide upon a new car. There were so many attractive models.

The food was fine except for the cake， I didn’t like it.

改為：The food was fine except for the cake，which I didn’t like.

c.We were looking for a shady spot， we couldn’t find one.

改為：We were looking for a shady spot， but we couldn’t find one.

d.It was raining hard，they could not work in the fields.

改為：As it was raining hard， they could not work in the fields.

2. 寫作不是句子的堆砌，要防止寫出無任何標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的一串句子。學(xué)習(xí)英語寫作，要學(xué)習(xí)英語標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的正確用法。標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號錯(cuò)誤可以造成很多誤解，然而無任何標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的一串句子，更令讀者費(fèi)解。如：

a.At first I wondered if I should speak to her she seemed to be so wrapped up in her thoughts.（令人不解的一串句子）

改為：She seemed so wrapped up in her thoughts that at first I wondered if I should speak to her.（清楚明白的句子）

b.I almost decided to walk by and pretend I did not see her she might think I was intruding. （無標(biāo)點(diǎn)的句子）

改為：Fearing that she might think I was intruding， I almost decided to walk by and pretend not to see her.（清晰的句子）

c.I was lonesome I decided to speak and I said hello in a weak voice.（無標(biāo)點(diǎn)的句子）

改為：As I was lonesome， I decided to speak to her， and I said hello in a weak voice.

學(xué)習(xí)英語寫作，首先要從單句練起。要練習(xí)寫有效的句子，以上提到的三個(gè)方面可作借鑒。

二、英語句子連貫成段技巧及驗(yàn)證方法

（一）英語句子連貫成段技巧

1. 主題句的確定是英語成段的關(guān)鍵

按整篇的構(gòu)思層次確定每段的中心思想（controlling idea），根據(jù)每段想要表達(dá)的中心思想，確定出一個(gè)句子即謂之主題句（topic sentence），主題句的產(chǎn)生首先思考的應(yīng)是選擇表達(dá)中心思想的關(guān)鍵詞或詞組，這稱之為topic outline。然后擴(kuò)展成該段中心思想的主題句。主題句確定后，圍繞主題句以邏輯順序安排該段的支持句來襯托主題，從而完成段落寫作。

請看下例：

A Paragraph

Topic outline——a key word or phrase

Topic sentence——controlling idea

Supporting detail——a——

b——

c——

Concluding sentence

2. 句子連貫成段技巧實(shí)例

（1）記敘空間方位段落

Topic outline：visit to a campus

Topic sentence：on my first visit to the college campus， I saw many buildings.

Supporting detail：

a) The administration building

b) The library

c) The classroom buildings

d) The faculty offices

e) The student center and cafeteria

f) The bookstore

g) The gymnasium and athletic fields

h) The student dormitories

圍繞主題句如何將所見的校園建筑物告訴讀者，第一要寫出正確句子，第二那就是連貫技巧了。在記敘文“空間”段落里，句子的連貫通常要運(yùn)用以下表方位的詞或詞組來銜接：

abovebefore hereon the left

across from belowin the distanceon the right

adjacent tobeyond nearby opposite

also furthernext to on top of

up down close to beneath

underaroundnear toover

（2）記敘文用代詞連結(jié)段落

Karl wrote a number of suggestions to the newspaper about low-cost housing. Although they were not all practical suggestions， they were original enough to be published， leading to a surprising response from the public. Hundreds of letters were written to the editor. Some of them favored Karl’s plans；others criticized them. The editor chose five letters in favor of Karl’s plans and five letters opposed to them. These were all published in the newspaper the following week.

該段共六個(gè)句子。第一句是主題句，關(guān)鍵詞是suggestions。第二句用了讓步過渡詞although與第一句連接。其中對主題句中的關(guān)鍵詞用了兩個(gè)代詞they，句子結(jié)尾用了分詞短語表結(jié)果。第三句是對主題的最強(qiáng)有力的支持句，由“suggestions”過渡到引起強(qiáng)烈反響的“l(fā)etters”。第四句運(yùn)用了并列連詞與第三句銜接，替代“l(fā)etters”又用了兩個(gè)they代詞。……最后一句用指示代詞銜接。使用代詞不僅使句子連貫，且使段落文字簡練。

（3）說明文邏輯順序段落

To build your own sunscope， get a carton and cut a hole in one side， big enough to poke your head through. Paste white paper on the inside surface that you will be facing. Then punch a pinhole into the opposite side high enough so that the little shaft of light will miss your head. For a sharper image you can make a better pinhole by cutting a one-inch square hole in the carton， taping a piece of aluminum foil over this hole， and then making the pinhole in the foil. Finally， tape the box shut and cover all light leaks with black tape.

該段每句依太陽顯示器制作過程按先后順序排列，直至用then，最后用finally圓滿銜接。

（4）描寫文重復(fù)用詞段落

a)Johnny Clem was small for his age， but what he lacked in size he more than made up for in courage and deterimination. This was something that his friends in Newark， Ohio（紐瓦克，俄亥俄州）soon recognized. It was something that his fellow soldiers in the Union army， and the troops of the enemy too， were to learn.

b)When I go into a bank I get frightened， the clerks frighten me；the desks frighten me；the sight of money frightens me；everything frightens me.

（二）段落驗(yàn)證

1. 段落驗(yàn)證方法

段落并非句子的堆砌。每段要按特定的寫作目的分輕重緩急，運(yùn)用各種連貫技巧，把主題句和支持句有機(jī)地銜接成段。段落寫好后，還應(yīng)按下列各條檢查是否完善和理想。

A. 段中每個(gè)句子寫得是否正確完整？

B. 句子的長短和結(jié)構(gòu)是否多樣化？

C. 段落所述內(nèi)容是否統(tǒng)一？

D. 有無主題句表達(dá)中心思想？

E. 句子間銜接否？

2. 段落驗(yàn)證舉例

（1）“自我畫像”段落

I am short 5 foot tall and not so skinny. My bones are of medium build. My face is the shape of an egg. My nose is small and looks like someone could ski down it. My hair and eyes are deep brown. My lips are not so red and a middle size.The clothes I wear are comfortable to me. I usually wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I always wear jewelry， at least one ring， a watch and necklace.

此段寫得不好。共9個(gè)句子的段落，2—9句均是以I，my開頭的同類句型。且第1句用詞不當(dāng)，第2句用bones來描寫身材不妥。4句和6句不協(xié)調(diào)，8句和9句也要作適當(dāng)修改。沒有主題句。段末應(yīng)添加結(jié)論性的語言來概括本段的主題，體現(xiàn)本人的個(gè)性。

請對比修改后的此段：

I am short and not skinny， of medium build. Egg-shaped would be a good way to describe my face. My nose is small and its shape resembles a ski-jump in the flea Olympics. My hair and eyes are deep brown. My medium-sized lips are the color of faded coral， which suggests that I generally keep by mouth shut when out in the sun. The clothes I wear are comfortable to me. I usually wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt， but I always wear jewelry， at least one ring， a watch and necklace. This description must lead anyone reading it to conclude that I’m the kind of person who might be overlooked in a crowd. My vibrant personality and winning smile， however， insure a second look.

（2）議論文段落

Japanese women have changed since the war. They have become prettier， brighter， more decisive（果斷的）， more outspoken（坦率的）. The young people certainly are far more logical and far less sentimental（多愁善感）than the prewar generations. Some regret this. They think women， in gaining their freedom， have lost their femininity（女人氣質(zhì)）——their modesty， their warmth， their shy grace. They accuse women of being drawn to superficial（淺薄）things. A modern Japanese woman， they say， instead of trying to enrich her inner self， is in a mad scramble（爭奪）to ape（模仿）anything that is new and foreign-fashions，cosmetics（化妝）， hairdos， rock-and-date wife is one who sits beside a washing machine in a house that has no hot running water.

本段議論的中心是日本婦女。第一句是主題句，表本段中心思想，開門見山地道出戰(zhàn)后日本婦女起了變化。第2—3句用具體變化的事實(shí)襯托發(fā)展了主題。第四句過渡到更細(xì)致的議論日本婦女的變化。整段議論內(nèi)容統(tǒng)一，依直線型發(fā)展，銜接緊湊，是寫得較好的段落。

總之學(xué)習(xí)寫作要從學(xué)寫正確句子開始，然后要學(xué)習(xí)靈活多樣的運(yùn)用句子連貫成文的技巧，如用代詞、連詞、方位詞等銜接，用轉(zhuǎn)折詞過渡，重復(fù)用詞和詞組及平等結(jié)構(gòu)潤色等。千萬要避免：（1）一串句子均用同一詞和同一主語開頭。（2）一串句子均用分詞短語開頭。（3）一串句子均用同類句型。（4）一串句子均用同類從屬句開頭等弊病。

參考文獻(xiàn)：

［1］Marcia Kemen Antonelis. Some Techniques for Group Instruction. English Forum July 1983.pp.23-26.

［2］Dixon， Duncan. Teaching Composition to Large Classes. English Teaching Forum，July 1986.pp.2-5.

［3］John Langan. College Writing Skills. (Fourth Edition)Atlantic Community College.