動物奧運會

Humans are a COCKSURE1) lot. Every four years the Olympic Games bring forth the best athletes humans can muster2): men and women who run and jump， stroke and tumble， pedal， and throw until winners are declared and the country that takes home the most medals gets four years of bragging rights. But isn't this all rather zoologically3) narrow-minded? What about nonhuman animals(NHAs)? Aren't they athletic， too? What if that year's games in Atlanta had been truly open to all comers， whether they had come on two legs or four， or even on fins? With disbelief firmly suspended4)， we therefore announce the inaugural5) All-Animal Olympics.

First， a few ground rules6). There will be no eating of the competitors. No team sports (hordes7) of nonhumans make humans either too nervous or too hungry). And finally， since human brains make us so superior in the making and handling of tools， any gadget-based competition—javelin8) throw， shot put， shooting events—is banned. The events will thus be limited to running， swimming， and gymnastics.

Now let the games begin.

人類真是些自以為是的家伙。四年一屆的奧運會聚集了人類所能集合的最優秀的運動員：男女選手們奔跑、跳躍、揮擊、翻滾、騎行、投擲，直至決出勝負，而獲得獎牌最多的國家也擁有了在接下來的四年里夸耀的資本?？墒牵瑥膭游飳W的角度來看，這不會有點兒目光狹窄嗎？人類之外的那些動物呢？它們不是也很有運動細胞嗎？假如在亞特蘭大舉辦的那屆奧運會真正向所有的來者開放，而不管他們是兩條腿走來、四條腿爬來甚至是用鰭游來，情況又會怎樣呢？由于存有這樣強烈的懷疑，我們因此宣布，全體動物奧運會開幕。

首先，有幾條臨時規則。不準吃掉比賽對手。不設團體項目(成群的動物不是令人類過度緊張，就是令他們饞涎欲滴)。還有最后一條，因為人腦使得我們長于制造和使用工具，所以，所有使用工具的比賽——標槍、鉛球、射擊——都不列入賽程。這樣，比賽只局限于賽跑、游泳和體操等幾項。

現在，比賽就開始吧。

As the athletes enter the stadium， the crowd lets out a roar. Initially the NHAs have a lot to roar about， as they sweep the first five running events， ranging from 100 meters up to 1500 meters. In all five， their entrant9) is the same awesome cheetah10).

The fastest running mammal， the cheetah can hit a top speed of 60 miles an hour. It needs only 16 seconds to complete the 400 meters. The world record among humans in this event， 43.29 seconds， set by Butch Reynolds of the United States in 1988， is almost three times longer. Things get more embarrassing as the events get longer. The cheetah blazes11) its way through the 800 meters in about 32 seconds. Even worse is the 1500-meter race. The cheetah needs barely more than a minute to finish the run. But even if we'd been running at a world record of 3:27.37， we humans would have had to suffer the humiliation12) of watching our entrant get lapped13) two or perhaps even three times.

In fact， though， we've now got the cheetah right where we want him—the 5000 meters. Cheetahs have a high normal body temperature and muscular activity generates extra heat. At very low speeds， most of the heat escapes the cheetah's body， but once the animal gets up to just 10 miles an hour， 90 percent of that heat will stay in its body. A cheetah can't store up that kind of heat forever. Thus after a mad dash， the cheetah will rest， panting. Ethiopia's Haile Gebrsalassie holds the 5000-meter record at 12:44.39， which computes14) to roughly 15 miles an hour. At that speed a cheetah would overheat and would have to wait a long time to cool down before it could run again. Its midrace rest might even be long enough for our entrant to catch up and win.

Meanwhile there are other animals ready to go against us in the long-distance events. The dog and horse， both excellent runners， come out to the starting line for the marathon. But before the race can begin， the human track coach comes storming onto the field with a physiologist， crying foul play15).

For long-distance movement， the importance of powerful muscles fades and the supply of oxygen to the body becomes key. Large lungs and hearts can increase the oxygen flow. But there is another way to boost oxygen delivery: add extra red blood cells. Human athletes have been trying to do this in the past decade by \"blood doping.\" They draw off some of their own blood several weeks before a competition. A few days before the event， however， they reinject their banked blood into their veins to get more oxygen to the muscles. Blood doping in this way is now banned in the Olympics. But it does work very nicely in dogs and horses， where it occurs naturally.

And so an embarrassing interlude16) stops the All-Animal Olympics for a moment， as the humans challenge the legality of the blood-doped dog and horse. Yet to this， NHAs don't even bother to argue. They simply bring in an unquestionably legal substitute17)—the kangaroo.

A hopping kangaroo acts like a pogo stick18). When it lands on the ground during a run， it sinks down and stores some of the energy of its movement in the tendons19) of its legs. When the time comes to push back off the ground again， the energy is released， much as it is from the spring of a pogo stick.

The race between man and kangaroo isn't quite the blowout that the cheetah sprints20) were， but it's humbling21) just the same. On average， humans win marathons at a speed of around 13 mph. A kangaroo's most efficient traveling speed is around 16 miles an hour. It would seem the human will always be eating kangaroo dust.

當運動員步入賽場時，觀眾爆發出一陣呼喊。比賽伊始，動物們的表現就值得歡呼，因為它們橫掃了從100米到1500米的頭五項賽跑比賽的金牌。在這五項比賽中，它們的參賽選手都是令人生畏的獵豹。

獵豹是跑得最快的哺乳動物，它的最高時速可以達到每小時60英里(約合96公里)。它只用16秒就能跑完400米。而這個項目的人類世界紀錄是43秒29，幾乎是獵豹的3倍——這一紀錄是美國運動員布奇·雷諾茲在1988年創下的。隨著賽程的加長，情況變得更加令人難堪。獵豹僅用了約32秒，就閃電般地跑完了800米。1500米跑的賽況就更是糟糕。獵豹幾乎只用了1分多一點兒就跑完了全程。而我們人類即使能以3分27秒37的世界紀錄的速度奔跑，仍將不得不滿懷屈辱眼睜睜地看著我們的選手在跑道上被對手領先兩圈，甚至三圈的距離。

不過，我們現在還是逮到機會給獵豹點兒顏色看看——5000米長跑。獵豹的正常體溫較高，而肌肉運動會產生額外的熱量。獵豹在低速奔跑時所產生的絕大部分熱量都可以散發出體外；可一旦它的時速達到10英里，這種熱量的90%就會在它體內聚積。獵豹不能任由這種熱量聚積下去。所以，獵豹狂奔后，都會停下來喘氣。埃塞俄比亞的海爾·格布雷塞拉西保持著5000米跑的紀錄：12分44秒39，大致相當于時速15英里。獵豹如果按這個速度奔跑，將會因為身體過熱而被迫中斷比賽很長一段時間，來降低體溫以便繼續奔跑。它在賽途中休息的時間甚至可能長到足夠使人類選手趕超上來并贏得比賽。

而與此同時，還有其他一些動物準備好在長跑項目上和我們人類對抗。狗和馬都是長跑健將，它們來到了馬拉松比賽的起跑線上。但就在比賽即將開始前，人類的田徑教練和一位生理學家高喊著“犯規”，沖到了賽場上。

在長距離的運動中，強壯的肌肉變得不那么重要，而為身體供氧的能力卻成為關鍵。大的雙肺和心臟可以增加氧氣的輸送量。不過還有一種方法可以促進氧氣的輸送：增加額外的血紅細胞。在過去的十幾年間，人類的運動員一直試圖通過一種稱為“自血回輸”的手段來達到這個目的。在賽前幾周，他們先把自己的血抽一些出來，等到賽前幾天，再把這些預存的血輸回血管，以提高血液向肌肉供氧的能力。現在，這種“自血回輸”的辦法已經在奧運會上被禁止了。但在狗和馬的身上，這種方法確實起效，而且是它們與生俱來就有的。

人類對具有自血回輸能力的狗和馬參賽的合法性提出質疑，這段有些尷尬的小插曲使得全體動物奧運會中斷了一會兒?？蓪Υ耍瑒游飩兩踔敛恍嫁q駁。它們只是換上場一位完全符合要求的替補隊員——袋鼠。

跳躍著的袋鼠就和玩具娃娃跳一樣。袋鼠在奔跑中著地時，身子下蹲，將一部分能量儲存在腿部的肌腱中。當它再次從地面躍起時，這部分能量被釋放出來。這個過程就和娃娃跳上的彈簧釋放能量的過程幾乎一樣。

人和袋鼠之間的比賽雖然不像獵豹沖刺那般震撼人心，但也同樣使人類顏面掃地。平均而言，在人類的馬拉松比賽中，獲勝所需的時速大約為13英里。而袋鼠的跑動時速最快約為16英里。由此看來，人類將永遠對袋鼠望塵莫及。

在賽場的另一邊，一只小猴子正繞著高低杠上的人類體操運動員打圈圈，人類在那里的表現也好不到那兒去。這項比賽，動物組委會挑選了長臂猿來參加。這是個完美的選擇：這些生活在南亞的樹棲長臂靈長類動物慣于在高低錯落的樹枝間快速地悠來蕩去。另一方面，長臂猿輕盈的身軀也使它得以在樹枝間快速而敏捷地穿梭。

長臂猿之所以能成為絕佳的體操選手，正是因為其身體的解剖結構。它們的腕關節里多長了一個小的球狀關節，這使得它們腕部的旋轉角度增加了額外的90度。此外，它們的拇指根部還有另一個球狀關節，使得它們的拇指可以握住不同粗細、不同形狀的樹枝。布朗大學的生物學家斯沃茨斷言，長臂猿在高低杠上會有不凡的表現?！拜p巧的身體和修長的四肢使它們能夠以令人佩服的速度迅捷地擺蕩，”她說道，“而且，它們在林中穿行時，可以利用自己快速轉向的能力。因此，在抓夠樹枝時可能所需的那些擺蕩及空翻動作，正好就是它們在這場假想的比賽中可利用的動作?！?/p>

Things aren't going much better on the other side of the arena， where a small monkey is twirling circles around the human gymnast on the uneven parallel bars22). For this event， the NHA Organizing Committee selected the gibbon23). It's a perfect choice: these long-armed tree-dwelling primates24) from southern Asia are used to swinging at high speed from uneven branch to uneven branch. A gibbon's light weight， on the other hand， allows it to move quickly and acrobatically from branch to branch.

What makes gibbons particularly good gymnasts， though， is their anatomy25). They have an additional little ball-and-socket joint26) within the wrist joint that gives them an extra 90 degrees of rotational27) ability within the wrist. They also have another ball-and-socket joint at the base of their thumb， which allows the thumb to grab branches of different sizes and shapes. Swartz， a biologist at Brown University bets the gibbons will be spectacular on the uneven bars. \"Their light mass and very long limbs are going to give them a high and impressive velocity28) when they swing，\" she says. \"Also， when they move in the forest， they take advantage of their ability to change direction quickly， so the kinds of swinging and aerial somersaults29) that might be needed in grabbing a branch are the kind of maneuvers30) they could employ in a hypothetical31) competition.\"