世界上的另一個(gè)我

I have been told of a twin flame， meant to be the highest form of love. You share love with someone who resonates on the same vibration as your soul: you think alike， feel alike， desire similar things， almost as if you were twins， because in essence， you are.

The thing is， I truly know what that is like. Growing up as a twin was uncanny. There were times when my brother John seemed to know my thoughts， speaking simultaneously with me or finishing my sentences. We still had our own lives though， and， at 21， I left home and got married.

Three months later I was rushed into hospital to have my appendix removed. Next morning I was amazed at how little pain I’d felt. “How are you?” John asked when he visited. “I’m fabulous，” I said and then I peered at him. He looked pale and drawn. “But you don’t look so great. What’s up?” “I had awful stomach cramps last night and kept vomiting，” he replied. “They only lasted an hour and the doctor said there’s nothing wrong. It’s a complete mystery.”

Suddenly a thought hit me. “What time did you start feeling sick?” I asked him. “Nine o’clock.” “But that’s the exact time I started my operation，” I cried. “And it only lasted one hour.” For a moment we were totally spooked. But we shrugged it off as a coincidence and forgot about it.

Then I became pregnant. I didn’t suffer morning sickness and the labour was an easy one. John came to visit me in hospital. Again， he looked as sick as a dog and explained that earlier that morning， he’d been struck with terrible back and stomach pains. “It was unbearable，” John added. “Then， when I found out you were in labour…” I sat up. “Are you saying that you suffered my labour pains?” He nodded. “Strange， isn’t it?”

After that， we read studies about twins and discovered it wasn’t unheard of for one twin to feel the other’s pain. “Please don’t have any more children，” John begged me. “I can’t go through all that again!” “Sorry，” I told him as nature took its course and I fell pregnant twice more. I didn’t know whether to feel pleased or sorry when， again， it was a breeze for me， but John suffered terribly.

We seemed to share an inherent understanding of each other’s emotional state. We would find that we performed similar actions when we were apart， such as buying the same item， or picking up the phone to make a call at the exact same moment. Most recently， during a phone chat， we discovered that we ordered the same meal， in the same restaurant， on the same day. We both were surprised!Aside from that， I had a sensation of “something being wrong” when he was in crisis. We experienced this during a trip to a pleasure ground whenever we were five years old. During an evening shopping trip， the family split up. Mother headed in one direction with me while Father remained in a store to complete a purchase. John was lost. I felt very agitated， pushing Mother to“Hurry， hurry” to search for John. Then， abruptly， a sense of relief crept into my consciousness and I let out an audible sigh of relief. Later my parents told me that my change in personality coincided exactly with the moment Father discovered John! I couldn’t help but wonder if he， as opposed to my husband， was my real significant half. Not just because we had the same experience， but most importantly， because we helped each other to heal， grow and learn. And I was often amazed by that.

I have had many soul mates throughout my life. But John is more than a soul mate to me. Together， we help each other to remain in the space of unconditional love. We create with one another; we share the deepest love imaginable. Then， we share these creation and love with our families.

有人告訴我“雙生火焰”這玩意，它是愛的最高表現(xiàn)形式。你的靈魂和某人產(chǎn)生同步共鳴:和他思索著相同的東西，有著相同的感受和渴望，跟他分享著愛。你們幾乎仿若一對(duì)雙胞胎，因?yàn)閺谋举|(zhì)上說(shuō)，你們就是雙胞胎。

事實(shí)上我的確了解那是怎樣一種狀況。作為雙胞胎孩子的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷很是不可思議。好幾次，我的孿生弟弟約翰似乎知道我的所思所想，我們會(huì)同時(shí)說(shuō)出相同的話，或是接對(duì)方的上半截話道出對(duì)方要說(shuō)的下半截話。當(dāng)然，我們還是有各自的生活的。在我21歲那年，我離家結(jié)婚了。

三個(gè)月后，我被急送進(jìn)醫(yī)院施行闌尾切除手術(shù)。第二天早上，我訝異地發(fā)現(xiàn)自己幾乎沒有任何疼痛感。“你還好嗎?”約翰來(lái)看望我時(shí)問道。“我好極了，”我說(shuō)，然后凝視著他。他的臉看上去蒼白而憔悴。“但你看上去氣色不太好。發(fā)生什么事了?”“昨晚，我肚子很痛，還一直嘔吐，”他回答道，“那些癥狀只持續(xù)了一個(gè)小時(shí)，醫(yī)生說(shuō)我沒什么問題。這完全是個(gè)謎。”

突然，我想到了什么。“你什么時(shí)候開始感覺不舒服的?”我問他。“9點(diǎn)。”“可我正是9點(diǎn)開始做手術(shù)的，”我喊道，“而且手術(shù)只持續(xù)了一個(gè)小時(shí)。”好一會(huì)兒，我們倆都完全被嚇懵了。但我們一笑置之，就當(dāng)是種巧合吧，也沒再多想了。

后來(lái)，我懷孕了。懷孕期間，我并沒有被晨吐折磨，整個(gè)分娩過(guò)程也很順暢。約翰來(lái)醫(yī)院看望我。他又一次看上去很虛弱，他解釋說(shuō)，那天一早，他的背和肚子都痛得很厲害。“真讓人難以忍受，”約翰補(bǔ)充道，“接著，我得知你在分娩……”我坐了起來(lái)，“你是在說(shuō)你感受到了我分娩時(shí)的痛楚?”他點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭。“真奇怪，不是嗎?”

那以后，我們閱讀了一些有關(guān)雙胞胎的研究，發(fā)現(xiàn)雙胞胎中的一方能感覺到另一方的痛苦這樣的情況大有先例。“別再生孩子了，”約翰懇求我道，“我無(wú)法再次受那種苦了!”“抱歉，”我對(duì)他說(shuō)這種事情還是得順其自然，而后來(lái)我又懷孕了兩回。我不知道該感到開心還是抱歉，又一次，我的分娩過(guò)程很輕松，約翰卻遭受了巨大的痛苦。

我們似乎天生就了解對(duì)方的情緒狀態(tài)。我們會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，我們不在一起的時(shí)候，會(huì)有相似的舉動(dòng)，比如買相同的物品、同時(shí)拿起話筒打電話。就在最近，在一次電話聊天中，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)我們?cè)谕惶臁⑼粋€(gè)餐館點(diǎn)了同樣的飯菜。我們倆都很驚訝!另外，無(wú)論何時(shí)他處于險(xiǎn)境，我會(huì)有一種“出了問題”這樣的感覺。我們倆曾在5歲時(shí)在一次前往游樂場(chǎng)的旅途中經(jīng)歷了這種情況。晚上購(gòu)物時(shí)，我們一家人分開了。母親帶著我往一個(gè)方向走，而父親則留在一家商店結(jié)賬。約翰不見了。我的心感到很不安，催促著母親“趕緊”去找約翰。接著，我突然放松了下來(lái)，我舒了聽得見的一大口氣。后來(lái)，我父母告訴我，我性情轉(zhuǎn)變的那一刻，正是父親找到了約翰的時(shí)候!我不禁好奇，比起我丈夫，約翰是否才是我真正的意義非凡的另一半。不僅因?yàn)槲覀兂３Ｓ邢嗤慕?jīng)歷，最重要的是，我們互相幫助對(duì)方康復(fù)、成長(zhǎng)和學(xué)習(xí)。對(duì)此，我常常感到很吃驚。

我一生有許多靈魂伴侶。但對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，約翰不僅僅是我的靈魂伴侶。我們共同幫助對(duì)方保持對(duì)他人無(wú)條件地付出愛。我們還一塊努力塑造對(duì)方，分享可能的最深的愛，然后與我們的家人分享這些創(chuàng)造和愛。