“起承轉合”寫好“經歷”

起承轉合是詩文寫作結構章法方面的術語。“起”是起因，文章的開頭；“承”是事件的過程；“轉”是轉折，是結果；“合”是對該事件的議論，是結尾。

筆者發現，如果考生能按照“起承轉合”這一思維去構思寫經歷或事例，會收到良好的效果！

我們知道，讀寫任務中，如果有某個寫作要點要求考生寫一件事或一次經歷，那么該要點一般要詳寫。但不少考生要么一兩句就說完了，覺得沒話可寫，要么感覺有太多話要寫，雖長篇大論卻抓不住重點，且屬前一種情況的考生居多。

實列分析

列舉自己或現實生活中中學生夢想成真的一件事。（2013屆海珠區高三綜合測試）

請看一位考生的習作：

However， when I was in middle school， my dream is have a piano. When on my birthday， my father really brought a piano for me， in that time， I was very happy and I thought my dream was come true.

很明顯，作為重頭戲的記敘部分，除去語病不說，長度方面，此要點考生寫得太少了。而事例中夢想的實現也來得太容易了，充其量只是愿望的實現。要談夢想的實現，怎么著也要濃墨重彩一下夢想是怎樣通過努力奮斗而成真的過程吧！而導致她沒話說的癥結就在于：一句話I thought my dream was come true，就把話給說死了，說沒了。

下面，我們用“起承轉合”的方法來構思一下這個故事：

起：中學時我夢想有一架鋼琴；

承：得不到父母的支持，原因是……

轉：沒有泄氣，做暑期工，攢錢；

合：感動父母，愿望實現！

用這個思路，看一下改動后的習作是不是大放光彩呢？

（起）It reminds me of one of my dreams coming true when I was in junior middle school. Once， I dreamt of owning my own piano and playing it at home peacefully and gracefully. （承） My parents refused my request for they thought I could play it at the training centre. （轉） Turned down for many times， I didn’t stop chasing my dream. I tried to save each cent from my pocket money and did some part-time jobs in the next summer vacations. （合） My parents were moved and bought me a piano eventually. I was very happy and I thought it was my persistent pursuit that helped me realize my dream！

我們再來看一下該試題命題者提供的范文：

（起） Like most people， there was a time when I dreamed of being an excellent student in my English after entering junior middle school， （承） though I was poor in English then. （轉） To catch up with my classmates， I made up my mind to learn English well and made pen-friends with some foreign students so as to practise my spoken English and improve my written English. （合） Finally， I won the English Speech Contest this term， realizing my dream.

我們不難看出范文的思路：

起：進入初中，夢想英語成績優秀；

承：實際上，英語不太理想；

轉：借助各種途徑，下決心趕超；

合：夢想終于實現！

以下再提供兩篇短文供大家學習，思考起承轉合的手法在事例寫作中的應用。

1. 講述你（或你朋友）因太多干擾而受到影響的經歷。（2012屆六校聯考）

本文的思路：

起：高一開學，被各種課外活動吸引；

承：第一學期，應接不暇于各種活動；

轉：結果無法完成作業，精神不集中；

合：考試失敗！

2. 舉一個發生在你或你認識的人身上的例子，說明語言的正面或負面的影響。（2013年惠州二調）

本文的思路：

起：Mary交通事故中受傷嚴重；

承：情緒低落，抗拒治療；

轉：母親善意的謊言；

合：正是母親正面的語言拯救了 Mary，令她重新站立起來！

以下是原試題提供的范文，篇幅還是太長了點！

1. （過渡句）This reminds me of what happened when I entered high school as a Senior One student. （起）I was so excited to find that there were various student organizations and after-class activities intended for us students. It seemed that many groups were suitable to me. （承）During the first term， I was attracted whenever there was a notice from a student group and I was eager to find out more about it. （轉） As a result， I didn’t spend enough time on my studies， nor could I settle down on my homework every day. （合）Consequently， I failed in an important exam.

2. （起）I have a friend called Mary， who had a traffic accident when she was in junior high school. Her waist was hurt so badly that the doctor told her that she would probably have to rely on a wheelchair for the rest of her life. （承）She was so depressed at the news that she refused to receive any treatment that may help her recover. （轉）Though the chances for her recovery are little， her mother decided to tell a lie in order to cheer her up. She told Mary that the doctor had mistaken her for another patient， saying that she would recover soon if treated properly. （合）Hearing that， Mary became cooperative in receiving treatment and with her strong will， she finally recovered， which amazed the doctors and nurses. It was the power of words that actually help her stand up and walk again.

從以上的例題和練習中我們不妨總結一下這個方法的應用：

起：就是故事的背景介紹，起初狀況，可寫開始時的良好狀況或尷尬局面。

承：事件的發展過程，或承前進一步渲染主人公的心理狀況。

轉：事情的轉機，如“幸運的是……（如自己的深刻認識或家人、老師或朋友的幫助等）”或“不幸的是……”。

合：事情的結果，或回應主題。

下面再設計兩個話題，請你馬上用“起承轉合”的思路來構思一下你的故事吧：

1.（你或你朋友參加某一個比賽的）事件發生的時間、經過和結果。

起__________________承__________________

轉__________________合__________________

2. 講述你或你朋友撒謊的一次經歷。

起__________________承__________________

轉__________________合__________________

值得注意的是：

1. 為了行文流暢，通常可以在起承轉合之前先有一句過渡句，作為此要點的主題句。如：It reminds me of...； Take ...for example； Everybody will ...， and ... is no exception.

2. 經歷就是記敘過去發生了的事，因此，通常要用過去時態。

此外，英語中表示“起承轉合”還會用到一些特別的詞語，筆者摘錄一些常用的，供考生復習時參考，若能掌握好，對閱讀和寫作大有益處！

1. 表示“起”。

nowadays；currently 現在

above all 最重要的是

for one thing 首先

on the one hand 一方面

to begin/start with 首先，第一

first of all 首先，第一

2. 表示“承”。

later 后來

such as 正如

soon 不久

for another 其次（與for one thing連用）

on the other hand 另一方面（與on the one hand連用）

for this purpose為了這個目的

in other words 換句話說

after；after that；afterwards此后

furthermore；moreover；what’s more；besides；in addition 而且，此外

3. 表示“轉”。

while 然而

however 然而

regardless of 不管，不顧

in fact；indeed；as a matter of fact 事實上

on the contrary相反地

in/by contrast對比之下

though；although盡管

even if；even though 即使

luckily；fortunately幸運地

unluckily；unfortunately 不幸地

4. 表示“合”。

as has been noted 如前所述

as I have said 如我所述

all in all；in a word；in brief；in short；in sum；in summary 總之

as a consequence；consequently；therefore；hence；thus 因此

at last；finally；eventually 最后

surely；certainly；undoubtedly 無疑

（作者單位：江門市開平開橋中學）

責任編校 蔣小青