讓我鉆到地縫里去

人生在世，難免遇到尷尬事。與其耿耿于懷，郁結于心，不如一笑置之，云淡風輕。

They say that one time someone confused a boy's chubby1） red cheeks for two tomatoes. And when that person tried to pick the tomatoes， he burnt his hand. And that was the least he could expect， because Alfie was the most easily embarrassed person you could imagine； and he greatly feared ridicule2）.

Even the slightest annoyance would turn his face as red as a chilli. And so it was that one day something truly ridiculous happened to Alfie， something which almost made him explode3） with embarrassment.

He was with his friend Jamie， practicing for a play Jamie was going to be in： The Three Little Pigs. After a while spent rehearsing the play， Alfie remembered that he'd invited Dora to his house that afternoon. Dora was the sweetest， prettiest， cleverest girl in his class. Alfie ran straight to the playground， found Dora， and said to her， \"What do you reckon？ Should we go to my place？ I can give you a sausage sandwich ...\"

And just as he finished saying this， he realized that he had forgotten to remove the mask and costume of the little pig！ Dora was speechless. Everyone in the playground started laughing， and poor Alfie， unable to react， just thought， \"Earth， swallow me up！\"

Suddenly， Alfie disappeared into the ground， and found himself in an incredible place. Everyone in that place had wanted the Earth to swallow them up！ And it was no surprise at all， because the faces of the people there were all covered with expressions of utter4） embarrassment. Alfie met an athlete who had run a race in the wrong direction， and had thought he had won it by a huge distance. He met a bald young lady whose wig had blown off during a storm， and he met a bride who had stepped on the train of her wedding dress and ended up rolling about like a meatball.

Soon， Alfie found out that the only way to escape from that place was through laughter. But not just any kind of laughter； you could only escape by learning to laugh at yourself. It wasn't easy； some folk had spent years there， under the Earth， refusing to find anything amusing about their own embarrassment.

But Alfie managed to overcome this， and learned how to find the humor in those moments of shame and embarrassment. He also learned to use them in a way that made others laugh， and bring them a little joy. When he remembered himself in the little pig mask， talking about sausage sandwiches with Dora， he couldn't stop laughing at the whole situation.

As soon as he realized all this， Alfie was instantly returned to the playground， in front of Dora， just where he had left her. But this time， far from getting embarrassed and tongue-tied5）， he smiled at her， took off his little piggy mask， wiggled his little piggy bottom， and said， \"Come on， cheer up！ Today I have a great ham in store！\"

Dora and the others laughed， and from that day on， Alfie became one of the funniest kids at school， able to make himself and others laugh at whatever happened to them.

據(jù)說有一次，有人把一個小男孩胖嘟嘟的紅臉蛋兒錯當成了兩個西紅柿。當那個人試圖去摘西紅柿時，竟把手給燙傷了。這可是他怎么都預料不到的事兒，因為阿爾菲是你能想象到的最容易窘迫的人，而且他非常害怕被人取笑。

即使是最微不足道的煩心事都能讓他的臉紅得像辣椒一樣。有一天就是這樣，阿爾菲身上發(fā)生了一件真的非常可笑的事情，這件事幾乎讓他瞬間覺得尷尬萬分。

那天，他正和朋友杰米一起排練杰米即將參演的戲劇《三只小豬》。排練了一會兒，阿爾菲想起來要請多拉在那天下午去他家玩。多拉是班里最甜美、最漂亮、最聰明的女孩。阿爾菲徑直跑到操場上，找到多拉，對她說：“你覺得咱倆去我家怎么樣？我可以給你拿香腸三明治吃……”

話一說完，他就意識到自己竟然忘記把小豬面具和戲服脫下來了！多拉一時間說不出話來。操場上所有人都哈哈大笑起來，可憐的阿爾菲不知所措，只是想著：“讓我鉆到地縫里去吧！”

突然，阿爾菲消失了，來到了地下。他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己到了一個不可思議的地方，那里的每個人都曾經(jīng)想鉆到地縫里！而且這根本不足為奇，因為那里的人們臉上都是一副無比尷尬的表情。阿爾菲遇到了一位運動員，他在一次比賽中跑錯了方向，還誤以為自己把對手遠遠丟在身后贏得了比賽。他還遇到一位光頭的年輕女士，在一場暴風雨中，她的假發(fā)被吹走了。他還遇到一位新娘，她踩到了自己婚紗的下擺，結果導致自己像肉丸子一樣在地上滾來滾去。

很快阿爾菲便發(fā)現(xiàn)，要想逃離那個地方，唯一的辦法就是笑。不過，不是什么樣的笑都管用，只有學會嘲笑自己，才能從那里逃脫。做到這點并不容易，有些人就不愿從令自己難堪的事情里找到樂趣，因而已經(jīng)在地下待了好多年。

不過，阿爾菲設法克服了這一點，并學著從那些丟臉、尷尬的時刻中找到笑點。他還學著用自己的那些難堪瞬間逗其他人笑，為他們帶去小小的歡樂。想到自己戴著小豬面具跟多拉談論香腸三明治的整個情形，阿爾菲禁不住笑了起來。

認識到所有這一切的那一刻，阿爾菲立即回到了操場上，出現(xiàn)在多拉面前，而且就站在他消失前站的那個地方。不過這一次，他一點兒都沒覺得尷尬，也沒有語無倫次，而是朝多拉笑了笑，摘下小豬面具，扭了扭小豬屁股，說：“拜托，高興起來嘛！今天我們家可是有超級美味的火腿哦！”

多拉和大伙兒都笑了。從那一天起，阿爾菲成了學校里最有趣的小孩之一，無論大家身上發(fā)生了什么事情，他都能夠讓自己和他人一笑置之。

1.chubby [?t??bi] adj. 圓胖的

2.ridicule [?r?d?kju?l] n. 嘲笑；戲弄

3.explode [?k?spl??d] vi. 突然迸發(fā)（某種情感）

4.utter [??t?（r）] adj. 完全的，十足的

5.tongue-tied： （因膽怯、難堪等）說不出話的，張口結舌的