和我一起，直面欺凌

2015-12-31 00:00:00ArianaGrande

新東方英語·中學版 2015年11期

很多人可能都聽過“校園欺凌”“網絡欺凌”等諸如此類的字眼，也可能聽過不少身邊人遭受欺凌的故事或是看過關于欺凌的新聞報道。欺凌，這個讓很多人痛恨的字眼，猶如魔鬼的雙手，伸向了越來越多的人。不論你是普通學生，還是無敵學霸，也不論你是無名小卒，還是明星大腕，可能都曾遭受過別人的欺凌。面對欺凌，我們該怎么辦？是啼啼哭哭、一蹶不振甚至放棄自己的生命？還是武裝自己、誓與欺凌自己的人抗爭到底？如果你一片茫然、不知所措，不妨來讀讀也曾遭受過欺凌的美國新生代演員兼歌手阿里安娜·格蘭德（Ariana Grande）給粉絲們的一封公開信吧。

I want to start this article by saying I just recently found out that one of my fans took his/her own life due to bullying. And even though I never got a chance to meet him/her in person， I feel like I've lost a dear friend. My fans are my family and I never want to see them struggle. It pains me so deeply to see how many lovely young people we're losing in this world to peer pressure and hurtful words， and I'm going to do my part1） to make sure this never happens again.

People tend to think that because I'm a performer and I don't go to a regular high school that I haven't personally been affected by bullies. But it's actually quite the contrary. I still have to deal with people in my everyday life， even adults who act as if they're in middle school and make it very clear to me that they don't want me around. Naturally， it's taken me a long time to figure out how to deal with that. One of the most terrible feelings in the world is knowing that someone else doesn't like you. Especially when you don't know what you've done to deserve it. You start to believe that you are the problem and that you need to change something about yourself to be liked， but I've come to learn that it's really not our problem， it's theirs.

Sometimes， people can be extraordinarily2） judgmental and closed-minded to anyone different or special， which is why it's so hard for young people in this day and age3） to be comfortable enough in their own skin4） to not listen to the people picking on5） them. But we shouldn't let them make us unhappy. If anything6）， we should feel sorry for the people who want us to feel bad about ourselves， because they are the ones struggling for approval. In middle school， bullies tortured7） other kids because they thought it would make people like them more. But if bullies were happy in their own skin， they wouldn't need to do that. It's only because of your greatness and uniqueness that people notice you and ultimately8） target you. It comes from their own fear and insecurity. We'll never know or understand fully why people try to hurt others but it's something humans have always done since the beginning of time and will always do. It could be jealousy， insecurity or just unhappiness. But in the end， all we're responsible for is ourselves. We have to remember who we are and never question ourselves if someone else disapproves.

This past year I did a lot of growing up and I came to understand and love myself in a way that I couldn't before. I will always want to be loved and will always be a very sensitive person， and I know that I will always have to deal with disapproval and jealousy in this industry and in life in general， but I'm certainly getting better at this and I want my fans to be able to be secure and blissful9） with me. Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks10）. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else， exactly as you are.

I'm writing this blog11） because wherever you go in life， after high school， in college， in your office， at your kids' school， in the retirement home you'll move into a long time from now， there are always going to be people who don't like you. I was talking to my Nonna12） the other day， and she told me that she is still dealing with people in her circle of friends that give her a hard time. And Nonna said， \"You know why？ It's 'cause I'm fabulous13）.\"

And it's true. We're all fabulous. Everyone. Even the bullies， although they might not see it. All we can do is wish them happiness and celebrate our own. Don't ever doubt yourselves or waste a second of your life. It's too short and you're too special.

Love always，

Ariana Grande

文章開頭我想說，我最近剛得知我的一位粉絲因為受人欺凌而結束了自己的生命。雖然我從未有機會親自見見這位粉絲，但我感覺像失去了一個親愛的朋友。我的粉絲就是我的家人，我永遠都不希望看見他們痛苦掙扎。看到這個世界上有這么多可愛的年輕人因為來自同齡人的壓力和傷人的言語而離開我們，我深感痛心，因此我要盡自己的一份力量來確保這樣的事情永遠不會再發生。

因為我是個藝人，而且沒有上過普通高中，所以人們總會覺得我沒有親身遭受過欺凌。但實際上情況正好相反。在我每天的生活中，我仍然得和形形色色的人打交道，甚至是這樣的成年人：他們的行為做派就好像自己是中學生，還很明確地向我表示他們不想讓我在其周圍出現。我自然是花了很長一段時間才想出辦法應對這種情況。這個世界上最可怕的感受之一就是知道別人不喜歡你，尤其是你都不知道自己到底做了什么讓他們這么討厭你。你開始相信問題出在你身上，你需要改變自己身上的某些東西以博得他們的喜歡，但我漸漸開始明白，這真的不是我們的問題，而是他們的問題。

有時，人們會對和自己不一樣或是與眾不同的人特別苛刻，有成見，這就是為什么在當今這個時代，年輕人很難有足夠的自信和從容去對其他人的刁難和挑剔充耳不聞。但我們不應該任憑他們讓我們不開心。甚至不如說，我們應該為那些想讓我們覺得自己不好的人感到難過，因為他們才是努力想要獲得認同的人。在中學時，那些“小霸王”會欺負其他孩子，是因為他們覺得這樣會讓人們更喜歡他們。但如果這些人對自己有足夠的信心，他們就不需要那么做。正是僅僅因為你的出色和與眾不同，人們才會注意到你并最終鎖定你為目標。這種行為只是源自他們自己內心的恐懼和不安全感。我們永遠不會知道也不可能完全了解人們為什么會想辦法去傷害別人，但自創世以來人類就一直這樣做，而且將來也會一直如此。這可能是因為嫉妒、不安全感或者只是不高興。但到最后，我們要負責的只有我們自己。我們必須牢記自己是誰，即使遭受他人非議，也永遠不要懷疑自己。

過去一年里（編注：英文原文發表于2012年），我成長了許多，也逐漸開始用一種前所未有的方式理解自己，愛自己。未來我會一直渴望被愛，并且始終做一個善解人意的人。我知道，在演藝這一行以及在日常生活中，我也總是得應對非議與嫉妒，但我一定會做得越來越好，我也希望我的粉絲能夠平平安安、快快樂樂地陪伴我。幸福地做你自己吧，愛上你的缺點，承認你的怪癖。要明白，你和其他人一樣完美，就做你自己吧。

我之所以寫這篇博文，是因為無論你走到人生的哪個階段——中學畢業、上大學、辦公室上班、孩子的學校里或是很久以后你將要搬進去的養老院里——你總會遇到不喜歡你的人。前幾天，我和我的祖母聊天，她告訴我，她還在應對朋友圈里那些讓她不痛快的人。祖母說：“你知道為什么嗎？因為我是最棒的。”

說得沒錯。我們都是最棒的。每一個人都是。甚至那些愛欺凌別人的人，雖然他們可能看不到這一點。我們所能做的就是祝他們幸福，也慶賀我們自己的幸福。永遠不要懷疑你自己，也不要浪費生命中的每一秒鐘。人生太過短暫，而你太過獨一無二。

永遠愛你們的，

阿里安娜·格蘭德

1.do one's part：盡自己職責；盡自己本分；盡自己的一份力量

2.extraordinarily [?k?str??dnr?li] adv. 極其，極端；特別地

3.in this day and age：在當今這個時代

4.comfortable in one's own skin：（在展現自己或與別人交流中表現得）放松的；自信的

5.pick on：找……的茬；對……刁難挑剔

6.if anything：甚至正相反，甚至不如說

7.torture [?t??t??（r）] vt. 折磨

8.ultimately [??lt?m?tli] adv. 最后，最終