A Christmas Lesson for Later 遲來的圣誕感悟

多年之后我才恍然大悟，原來圣誕節并不一定要豎起高大華美的圣誕樹，掛上五顏六色的彩燈，置辦琳瑯滿目的禮物……

1959. I would have been wearing a dress， which wasn't ideal. Even if it wasn't scratchy1）， it limited what you could do. So I would have been perched on2） the edge of a chair.

What mommy and I were doing was \"paying a visit\". It probably wasn't longer than a half-hour， an eternity to a little girl on a sunny day， but I was raised to be polite， which included practice in not having everything go my way. I understood my obligation to be on display. I would sit up straight and say \"yes， ma'am\"， \"please\" and \"thank you\" even for hard candies. This didn't take much effort， but it thrilled adults no end3）—especially the really old ones， like this one.

The lady would beam at me and extract basic information from me about my age and grade level， and then I would be released to explore the apartment. It was a one-room apartment and it smelled funny： a sour kitchen odor from some kind of food we never had at home. Dark furniture prevailed4） and porcelain dolls stared out from behind glass. I knew these were expected to delight.

While I pretended to admire the dolls， mommy absorbed compliments about me and assured our hostess that I could be quite a handful5） at times. When their conversation finally drifted into other areas， I edged6） over to the tray of African violets7） yearning toward the window light and patted their furry leaves.

\"I'm so happy you dropped in， Hazel. My niece and her family are coming by Christmas Eve. They keep asking me what I want， but this is all I want. I don't need a thing！\"

\"I know just what you mean. There comes a time you just don't want any more stuff，\" mommy said.

This made no sense to me. It's not that Christmas was about the gifts， so much； I could make do with one stuffed animal. But the rest！ Hanging paper snowflakes in the window， plugging in the electric candle and frosting8） sugar cookies； all of that filled me right up. Every year I'd lobby9） hard for more lights on the porch， but ours was not a house of excess. The tree would be bought early on， but it had to wait propped up against the outside of the house for a few days. Then， just before Christmas， we'd bring it in. Mommy would put on a record of carols10） and daddy would try to get the strings of lights.

The old lady had a tree up， too. It was two feet tall， like a sculpture of scarcity. Mommy was remarking on how nice it was， but it was the saddest thing I'd ever seen.

\"I just love old people，\" mommy told me on the way home， but that was another thing that didn't make sense. To be old was to have accepted a life of deprivation， to me. And the proof of it was， I was considered to be some kind of highlight just by showing up.

2014. The season has really merried up since we decided not to exchange presents anymore. We have way too much stuff already. I'm sure we'll get a present for the little boy in our life. We're really looking forward to seeing him.

All he has to do is show up and be himself， and it will fill us right up. We might get a little tree. We might not.

1959年。我那會兒應該是穿著一條裙子，它并不理想，盡管布料不扎人，可卻讓人行動受限。所以，我應該是坐在了一把椅子的邊兒上。

我和媽媽當時正在“走親訪友”。整個過程持續了大概不到半個小時，在晴朗的日子里這對一個小女孩兒而言卻是無比漫長。不過，從小媽媽就教育我要懂禮貌，這其中就包括要習慣于并非凡事都會如我所愿，我明白自己有義務要好好表現。我總會挺直身子坐著，然后說著“好的，女士”“請”和“謝謝”這些話，哪怕只是因為別人給了幾顆硬糖。這么做并不怎么費事兒，可卻能令大人們無比激動，尤其是那些特別年老的人，比如眼前這位。

這位夫人總是對我滿臉堆笑，還向我打聽我幾歲了、在上幾年級這種基本信息，隨后我就被“解放”了，可以去好好參觀一下那間公寓了。那是一間一居室公寓，聞起來怪怪的，有一股我們在家從沒吃過的某種食物從廚房散發出來的餿味兒。房間以深色家具為主，瓷娃娃們從玻璃櫥窗后凝視著我。我知道這位夫人期待這些東西能讓我們感到愉悅。

當我假裝對那些娃娃表示贊嘆時，媽媽照單全收了女主人對我的夸獎之詞，同時也讓她相信我有時也會非常難以管教。當她們的談話終于不知不覺地換成其他話題時，我便慢慢地溜到托盤里栽種著的喜陽非洲紫苣苔邊，輕拍著它們那毛茸茸的葉子。

“黑茲爾，我很高興你來串門。我的侄女和她的家人會在平安夜那天來我家。他們一直問我想要什么，但他們能來就是我唯一想要的。我不需要任何東西！”

“我非常明白您的意思。會有那種時候，你就是不需要其他任何東西。”媽媽說道。

這讓我無法理解。我不理解的不是圣誕節是和禮物相關的，而是有很多不理解——如果只收到一個毛絨玩具，我也可以湊合著過節。可是別的呢！在窗戶上懸掛紙雪花，給電子蠟燭接通電源，在曲奇餅干上撒上糖霜；所有這一切都讓我心滿意足。每年我都會努力勸說父母在門廊掛上更多的彩燈，但我們家沒有那么多富余的空間。我們會在提前幾天就把圣誕樹買好，但必須把它立在房子外面等上幾天。然后，我們會在圣誕節即將來臨之際再把它搬進家里。媽媽會播放一張圣誕頌歌的唱片，爸爸則會努力把那一串串的彩燈搞定。

那位老夫人也立起了一棵圣誕樹。它有兩英尺高，好似一尊象征著匱乏的雕像。媽媽一直在夸它有多么漂亮，但它卻是我所見過的最令人憂傷的東西。

“我就是喜歡老年人。”媽媽在回家的路上對我說，可那又是一件令我無法理解的事情。對我而言，年老就要接受匱乏的生活，其證據便是：我僅僅露個面就能被視作是節日期間的某種亮點。

2014年。自從我們決定不再交換禮物以來，圣誕季就真正地歡快熱鬧起來了。我們已經擁有太多太多的東西。我確信我們會為在我們生活中出現的這個小男孩準備一份禮物，我們真的很期待見到他。

他需要做的就是露個面并做他自己，那就會令我們心滿意足。我們可能會弄一棵小圣誕樹，也可能不會。

1.scratchy [?skr?t?i] adj. （衣物等）粗糙的；扎人的；使人發癢的

2.perch ... on ...： 使……坐在……的邊上

3.no end： 非常；極其

4.prevail [pr??ve?l] vi. 占優勢，占上風

5.handful [?h?ndf?l] n. <口>難以控制的人（或物）

6.edge [ed?] vi. 徐徐移動，慢慢移動

7.African violet： 【植】非洲紫苣苔

8.frost [fr?st] vt. 在（糕餅等）上面撒糖霜

9.lobby [?l?bi] vi. 游說，試圖說服

10.carol [?k?r?l] n. 圣誕頌歌