江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學七(5)班 楊紀龍
My Hometown
江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學七(5)班 楊紀龍
In the east of China,there is a small city—Jinhua.It is my hometown and I was born there.
Jinhua is not only ancient but also modern.It has a long history.It is hot in summer and cold in winter.There are many places of interest in Jinhua.There are a lot of old buildings,mountains,lakes and rivers there.And the River Wu flows across①Jinhua.Every year thousands of Chinese and foreigners visit Jinhua.It is really a nice place to visit.
My hometown is a beautiful city.On each side of the roads,there are some tall trees and beautiful flowers.The roads are also very clean.You can usually see white clouds in the blue sky.If you come here,you will love it.And there are also many delicious foods here,such as Jinhua ham,oranges and so on.
In a word,Jinhua is the best city in my eyes.I love Jinhua,and I am pride②that I'm from Jinhua.
【欄目要求】
1.將學生習作根據(jù)中考分值給出成績;
2.在應該修改的地方劃線并標注序號;
3.根據(jù)所標序號進行修改并說明修改的理由;
4.給學生習作點評<優(yōu)點與不足>;
5.請點評名師提供簡歷一份,包括:學校、職務、職稱、榮譽、教研教學成果、照片一張。
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來稿請寄:430079華中師范大學外國語學院《中學生英語》雜志社收
本期點評名師

陳傳光男,中學一級教師,江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學,從事教育教學工作十余載。江蘇省教育學會會員,連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁,贛榆縣優(yōu)秀班主任。有多篇論文在各雜志期刊上發(fā)表并獲獎。曾獲全國中學生新課程英語語言能力競賽優(yōu)秀輔導教師一等獎。
1.優(yōu)點:
小作者從旅游景點、美食等方面介紹了自己的家鄉(xiāng)——金華。小作者筆下的家鄉(xiāng)既有古老的氣息,又不失現(xiàn)代化的感覺,不僅有引人入勝的美景,還有令人垂涎欲滴的各種美食。文章結尾處,小作者還表達了對家鄉(xiāng)的熱愛和內心的自豪感,升華了文章主題。
2.需要修改的地方:
①across改為through。across表示“從事物表面通過”,而through表示“從事物內部通過”;
②pride改為proud。pride是名詞,意為“驕傲,自豪”,而proud是形容詞,意為“驕傲的,自豪的”。
3.評分:
按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準,本文修改前可得18分。