“熊孩子”是怎么把數學作業弄丟的

"I&apos；ve heard a lot of excuses for not having homework， Winston，" said Mrs. Walker， "but this—"

"Excuse me，" Winston said， interrupting as politely as possible， "please don&apos；t give me a zero. I can explain."

Mrs. Walker sat down at her desk and sighed. "O.K. Tell me how your homework became part of the ecosystem1）."

The other kids turned toward Winston. He sat with his hands folded on his desk.

"Yesterday，" he began， speaking loudly so that everyone could hear， "after I got home， I had a snack， then went up to my room to do my homework. It was such a warm day that I opened my windows to get some fresh air. My desk is in front of a window， and there&apos；s a window on another wall， so I can get a cross breeze.

"The math homework was pretty hard. After I finished it， I needed a break. I had some new bubblegum tape2）， so I tore off a piece to practice. Michael and I are having a contest to see who can blow the biggest bubble."

"That&apos；s right，" Michael said. "We are."

Winston nodded at Michael and continued. "I got to thinking that the more gum， the bigger the bubble. I kept adding gum， and my bubbles kept growing. Pretty soon I was blowing bubbles so big they covered my whole face， and all I could see was pink."

"Wow，" whispered Darlene， who had the desk behind him.

"Then it happened. I blew a bubble as big as a beach ball." He curved his arms over his head to show how big it was.

A few of the kids rolled their eyes like they didn&apos；t believe him， and John said， "You didn&apos；t！"

Michael whirled3） in his seat to face John. "If he says he did， he did！ Winston doesn&apos；t lie. He doesn&apos；t even exaggerate！"

Winston smiled at Michael.

"Please go on，" said Mrs. Walker.

Winston cleared his throat. "I didn&apos；t know how big the bubble was at first because—like I said—all I could see was pink. All of a sudden a gust of wind tore the bubble right out of my mouth！ I maybe could have caught it， but I was in shock at how huge it was. The giant bubble floated across my desk and out the window. As it sailed away， I saw something yellow stuck to it. Like paper. Then I noticed my homework was missing. I made a dive for it， but too late. The beachball bubble was on its way."

"On its way to where？" Asked Mrs. Walker.

"To Dr. Drinkwater on a ladder cleaning out his gutters4）. My bubble flew onto his head and then down the street. It was the first time I ever saw Dr. Drinkwater get mad."

"Why would he care about a bubble？" asked Mrs. Walker.

"Because it floated away with his toupee5）." Winston swallowed. "He looked very bald. He pointed at my bubble and yelled， &apos；Come back here with that！&apos； The bubble didn&apos；t stop. At Ms. Pearl&apos；s house， friends were arriving. When they saw Dr. Drinkwater&apos；s toupee overhead， they thought it was a flying tarantula6） and started screaming.

"Ms. Pearl rushed outside just as Dr. Drinkwater ran past chasing his hair down the street. I don&apos；t know if she and her friends realized that the hairy thing was Dr. Drinkwater&apos；s toupee or if they wanted to warn him about the tarantula， but all of them chased Dr. Drinkwater， who was chasing his hair， until the bubble， the homework， and the hair got stuck in a spider web in Mrs. Roosevelt&apos；s peach tree."

"This is getting involved7），" said Mrs. Walker. "Could you leave out the details？"

Winston nodded. "Mrs. Roosevelt&apos；s cat attacked Dr. Drinkwater&apos；s hair. The bubble broke. Everything got sticky. There was a lot of yelling and pointing and a black streak8） that I think was the cat escaping."

Mrs. Walker did not look impressed.

"I checked the peach tree，" Winston added， "after things had settled down. But my homework was nowhere in sight. All I found was a lot of birds flying around with Dr. Drinkwater&apos；s hair in their beaks. I guess it made good nesting material."

Mrs. Walker shook her head. "Honestly， Winston， why didn&apos；t you just tell me the math was too hard instead of making up that wild story？"

Just then the office assistant walked in. "Excuse me， Mrs. Walker. A woman dropped this off for Winston Howard."

Everyone watched Winston open the envelope and take out his wrinkled homework page and a crisp9） note that said "For Winston&apos；s teacher". He handed them both to Mrs. Walker and returned to his seat.

Bits of fur were stuck to the homework. Mrs. Walker stared at it， then laid it on her desk. She glanced at the note， then read aloud：

供稿

1. become part of the ecosystem： 成為生態系統的一部分，在這里其實就是用幽默的方法表達“消失”，這里翻譯為“人間蒸發”以求達到類似的效果。 ecosystem [?i?k??s?st?m] n. 生態系統

2. bubblegum tape： 泡泡糖卷

“我已經聽過太多不交作業的借口了，溫斯頓，”沃克夫人說，“但是這次——”

“對不起，”溫斯頓說，盡可能禮貌地打斷她，“請不要給我零分。我可以解釋的。”

沃克夫人在辦公桌后坐下，然后嘆了口氣：“好吧。告訴我你的作業是怎么人間蒸發的？”

其他孩子都望向溫斯頓。他坐了下來，雙手疊放在課桌上。

“昨天，”他講了起來，聲音洪亮，以便每個人都能聽到，“我到家以后，吃了塊點心，然后上樓走進我的房間去寫作業。天氣那么暖和，我打開窗戶去呼吸些新鮮的空氣。我的書桌就擺在窗前，另一面墻上還有一扇窗，因此我可以吹吹過堂風。

“數學作業挺難的。做完之后我需要休息一下。我買了一種新的泡泡糖卷，于是撕下來一塊嘗一嘗。我和邁克爾正在比賽，看誰能吹出最大的泡泡。”

“沒錯，”邁克爾說，“我們是在比賽。”

溫斯頓朝邁克爾點了點頭，然后繼續說道：“我在想，嚼的泡泡糖越多，吹出的泡泡就越大。于是我不斷增加泡泡糖，吹的泡泡也越來越大。不一會兒，我就吹出好幾個很大的泡泡，它們大到擋住了我的整張臉，讓我滿眼看到的只有粉紅色。”

“哇哦！”坐在溫斯頓后面的達萊娜小聲驚嘆。

“然后發生了一件事。我吹出了一個沙灘球那么大的泡泡。”他雙臂彎曲，高舉過頭頂，比劃著那個泡泡的大小。

一些孩子翻了翻白眼，好像不相信他的話，接著約翰說：“怎么可能！”

邁克爾在座位上轉過身看著約翰。“他說做到了，那就一定做到了！溫斯頓從不說謊。他甚至都不會吹牛！”

溫斯頓朝邁克爾微微一笑。

“請繼續講吧。”沃克夫人說。

溫斯頓清了清嗓子。“起初我并不知道這個泡泡有多大，因為，正如我所說的，我只能看到一片粉紅色。突然間，一陣風把這個泡泡從我的嘴里吹了出去！我本來有可能可以抓住它，但是看到它那么大，我只顧震驚了。那個巨大的泡泡飄過我的書桌，飛出了窗外。在它飛走的時候，我看到一個黃色的東西粘在上面，好像是紙。然后我發現我的作業不見了。我跳起來撲向它，但是太晚了。那個沙灘球一樣的泡泡已經飛走了。”

“飛哪兒去了？”沃克夫人問道。

“飛到德林克沃特醫生那里了，他當時正站在梯子上清理雨水槽。我的泡泡飛到了他的頭上，然后沿著街道飛走了。這是我第一次看到德林克沃特醫生那么生氣。”

“他為什么那么在意一個泡泡呢？”沃克夫人問道。

“因為它帶著他的假發飛走了，”溫斯頓咽了一下口水，“他看起來禿頂很嚴重。他指著我的泡泡叫喊著：‘ 都給我回來！那個泡泡并沒有停下。在珀爾女士的屋前，她的朋友們剛剛到達。看到頭頂上方德林克沃特醫生的假發時，他們還以為那是一只飛著的狼蛛，于是尖叫起來。

“珀爾女士跑了出來，那時德林克沃特醫生正從她家門前跑過，沿著街道追他的假發。我不知道她和她的朋友們是否意識到那個毛茸茸的東西就是德林克沃特醫生的假發，還是他們想警告他那是狼蛛，反正所有人都跟著只顧追自己假發的德林克沃特醫生跑，直到泡泡、我的作業紙還有那頂假發一起被羅斯福夫人家桃樹上的蜘蛛網給網住。”

“這真是越來越復雜了，”沃克夫人說，“你能不能略去細節？”

溫斯頓點了點頭。“羅斯福夫人的貓撲向了德林克沃特醫生的假發。泡泡破了。所有東西都變得黏糊糊的。很多人叫喊著，指點著，還有一道黑影閃過——我覺得那是在逃走的貓。”

沃克夫人看起來沒聽進去。

“在一切都平靜下來以后，”溫斯頓繼續說，”我檢查了那棵桃樹。但是到處都找不到我的作業了。我只看見很多鳥叼著德林克沃特醫生的假發到處飛。我猜那是筑巢的好材料。”

沃克夫人搖了搖頭。“溫斯頓，老實說，你為什么不直接告訴我數學作業太難了，而是要去編造這樣一個離奇的故事呢？”

就在那時，辦公室助理走了進來。“打擾一下，沃克夫人。一個女士讓我把這個交給溫斯頓·霍華德。”

大家看著溫斯頓打開信封，拿出他皺巴巴的作業紙，還有一張干凈的紙條，上面寫著“溫斯頓的老師收”。他把這兩樣東西都交給了沃克夫人，然后回到了座位上。

作業紙上還粘著幾根毛。沃克夫人盯著作業紙，然后把它放在了辦公桌上。她看了眼紙條，然后大聲念道：

3. whirl [w??l] vi. （突然）轉身

4. gutter [?ɡ?t?（r）] n. （屋檐的）雨水槽；檐溝

5. toupee [?tu?pe?] n. 男用假發；遮禿假發

6. tarantula [t??r?nt??l?] n. 狼蛛；塔蘭托毒蛛

7. involved [?n?v?lvd] adj. 復雜難懂的；棘手的

8. streak [stri?k] n. 條紋；條痕

9. crisp [kr?sp] adj. （布或紙）潔凈的

Winston must have intended to turn this in. He&apos；s very responsible. I have no idea how his homework got stuck to my cat， but I&apos；m sure Winston can give you a logical explanation.

Mrs. Roosevelt

此文為本刊與美國CM媒體集團的版權合作文章，

謝絕轉載。

Mrs. Walker looked up. "It was all true！"

"Yes， ma&apos；am，" Winston said quietly.

"I&apos；m terribly sorry I didn&apos；t believe you！" She picked up her notebook and looked for his name.

溫斯頓肯定想把這個交給您。他非常有擔當。我不知道他的作業紙是怎么粘在我家貓咪身上的，但是我確信溫斯頓會給您一個合理的解釋。

羅斯福夫人

沃克夫人抬起頭來。“這都是真的！”

“是的，夫人。”溫斯頓平靜地說。

“我很抱歉沒有相信你！”她拿起她的筆記本，開始尋找他的名字。