桃園三結義

演員

Faker_售賣假鞋的不良商販

Richard_售賣假酒的不良商販

Jaime_售賣地溝油的不良商販

A_無意間購買了假鞋的消費者

B_A的女友

警察

店小二

第一幕

場景：街道

Faker看著榜文，作長嘆狀。

Richard出場，站在Faker身后，說：“男子漢大丈夫不思為己牟利，在這里嘆什么氣？”

自報姓名：“我叫Richard，靠賣假酒為生。”

Hey， what makes a gentleman letting out a sigh here？ As a man， make some differences as I do.

I am Richard， an alcohol dealer.

Faker說：“我是Faker，我擺攤賣假鞋。”

手指指著白板，道：“奈何政府今年的打假行動又將開始，然而這次我不知道自己能否再一次逃過……\"

You can call me Faker， I sell fake shoes for living.

But government’s actions about cracking down on fake products have already begun again. And this time， I don’t know if I can handle it once more on my own.

Richard說：“這沒什么可難的，我可以拿出家產，我們一起開一家超市。單人擺攤容易被查，如果我們能開一家超市被查的概率會小很多。”

Don’t worry， I can make use of some of my property to open a supermarket. One man can easily be caught selling fake stuffs on the stall， but the more we get together， the less chance we will be caught.

Faker聽后非常高興，說：“太好了！”

Terrific！

二人前行，進入小酒館，坐下。

場景：小酒館

小二出場，遞過茶水，FR邊喝邊談。

Jaime突然在門外出場，威風凜凜。Jaime說：“店小二拿酒來！”

Where’s my wine， lobby boy！

店小二：“酒來了！”

Here comes the wine！

Faker對Jaime說：“請過來一起座。”待Jaime走過來，Faker道：“敢問尊姓大名？”

Please come， sit with us.

May I ask who you are？

Jaime拍著胸脯說：“我的名字叫Jaime，因賣地溝油被該死的工商部門查處，已流落江湖五六年了。今日進城尋份差事。”Jaime問FR：“你們是做什么的？”

My name is Jaime， I have been tramping the streets for years due to the bloody bureau that shut down my business of recycling used cooking oil . Now I finally end up here finding a job to feed my mouth.

What are you guys？

Faker望天回憶狀，自嘲狀道：“小時候家里窮，買不起正品鞋，所以那時候就希望能讓人人都能穿上名牌鞋。”低頭看向RL，道：“所以現在開始倒賣鞋，利潤還賊高！你根本看不出來任何區別！”

Once I was a child， my family couldn’t afford me a pair of genuine brand shoes. Then my dream at that time was to provide everyone a pair of good shoes at lowest price.

Now I have achieved that dream and have made good profit from selling. You couldn’t tell any difference between my shoes and the genuine ones.

Richard說：“我以前是個酒鬼，喝酒花光了錢，想到用酒精兌水成本低，就去學了這門手藝。我兌的假茅臺，喝了保你起不來。”

I used to be a tippler， and I’ve spent all my money on drinking. Then I became to realize that if I mix up alcohol with water， the cost will be much reduced. Then I mastered this skill. Now no one can get back from my Maotai.

Faker對Jaime說：“我和這位兄弟想要開一家超市，咱們可以一起啊。我賣鞋、Richard賣酒。你可以賣油，就說是現場制作的高級花生油。”

Me and my friend here just came up with the idea about opening a supermarket. Since you’re also looking for a job， why not join us？ I sell my shoes， he sells his alcohol， and you， you can also make good profit from selling your oil by telling people the oil is fabricated on site！

Jaime說：“那你找我你就找對了，雖然公司倒閉了但是我的手藝還在啊，你根本不看不出我的油和食用油的區別”

Well， you’ve got the right guy！ Even if my industry had been shut down， my skill has never leaved my hands. I can promise that no one can tell any difference between the oil from my hand and the oil that has been truly qualified.

Richard說：“這附近有一片桃園，我們可以在那結為兄弟。”

There’s a peach yard nearby， why not make us three into brothers there？

店小二退場，道具師撤出所有道具，燈光師打燈。

場景：桃園

Faker說：“我們三人雖是異姓，今日結為兄弟！齊心協力，共享富貴！背義忘恩，天人共戮！”舉杯道：“為了錢！”

We three — Faker， Jaime， Richard— though of different families， swear brotherhood， and promise mutual help to one end. If we turn aside from each other， may Heaven and Human smite us！

For money！

RJ同時舉杯，道：“為了錢！”

For money！

Faker道：“既然我們是在桃園立下的誓言，那我們的店名就叫作淘園好了。”

Since we take oath in a peach yard， let’s make our supermarket’s name Taoyuan.

BC異口同聲道：“好！”

OK！

第二幕

場景：店鋪門口

Faker吆喝：“這邊走，這邊看，這邊的鞋子價格低一半，搞得著，劃得著，單位農村都適合，好穿又好脫，耐穿又耐磨，劃不劃得著，看了貨在說。”

Here you go， here you look！

Here you’ll find a half price shoe！

Lowest price， highest joy！

You can wear them go to field！

Fit or not？ wear them once！

A和B出場

A帶女朋友B走進店鋪

Fake對A說：“喂，年輕人過來一下，給你看個寶貝”

Hey， young man， I’ve got something special for you！

Faker掏出鞋子

A：“嗨！不就是一雙鞋嘛。”

Hah？ They are just … a pair of shoes.

B：“就是就是”。

Yeah！

Faker：“no！no！no！它可不是一般的鞋子啊！你們聽過他的牌子阿達迪斯沒？”

No-no-no-no！ It’s not just a pair of ordinary shoes！ Have you ever heard of their brand—Adadis？

A和B互看，異口同聲：“沒聽說過。”

Never heard of it.

Faker正經說道：“信不信由你，當時世界就生產了兩雙，一雙被MJ買去了，后果你們應該都知道，他跳出了太空步！然而另一雙，就在這里！”

Believe it or not， at that time when these shoes were made， there were only two pairs of them. One was sold to MJ， and as you all know， he soon created moonwalk！ And the other one is right in front of you！

A做思索狀，幻想自己成為MJ的樣子，咧嘴笑：“大哥，這鞋多少錢？我買了！”

OK bro， just tell me how much are they， I’ll buy them..

B從懷疑轉變為了發怒：“買啥啊買！就你呢身材還跳啥舞啊，我們走！”

Do you also wanna buy a moon？ Look at you！ Tell me， how can a man be a dancer in the figure of yours？

Faker趕緊辯解：“沒準穿上這雙鞋就會跳了！好了廢話不多說，原價三萬八的鞋子，但我看好你，就250賣給你了～”

Maybe one even in this figure could also be a dancer with these！ All right， let’s talk business， the original price was 38 grand， since I kind of like you now， I’ll give you the price of 250！

A看看鞋，不可思議地看向Faker，說道：“什么？250？這么便宜？”作堅定狀：“我買”！

（掏錢）

Are you serious？ Just 250？ These legendry shoes？ I’ll take them.

B發怒：“什么便宜啊！我看你就是個250！”轉身就走。

What？ You think this price is fair？ I think it’s the fairest price for you instead of these shoes！

A看著手中鞋沒有挽留

A看著手中拿著的鞋不緊不慢地轉身同B離開的方向走去，作幻想狀自言自語：“MJ啊，你就在天堂好好玩吧，以后世界和平就交給我了，有了這雙鞋我就是MJ二代了！”

MJ， just enjoy your afterlife in heaven， promoting world peace will be my responsibility to take on. Ha ha！ With these shoes， I will be the reincarnation of MJ in front of everyone！

RJ從后方出場

Faker對RJ說：“看到沒， 20塊錢的鞋就是這樣賣到250的。”

See？ This is how you sell 20 yuan shoes to 250！

Richard撓撓頭，說：“你這么一說我都想拓展業務了，我聽說有一種技術可以往肉里摻水，這樣一來成本就低了！”

Well， after hearing your words， I wanna expand business as well. And I‘ve heard of a technique to inject water into meat so that you can make a larger profit by selling it.

Jaime舉起手指，小心說道：“這樣來錢是塊，可是千萬別被發現啊！”

Money comes easy this way. But， my friend， always be cautious.

第三幕

場景：店鋪門口

Faker在門口整理鞋子，Richard在Faker身后倒騰注水肉，A穿拖鞋出場

A愁眉苦臉，作抓耳撓腮狀：“肯定是因為那天心情不好，一發神經買了雙假鞋，沒穿兩天，腳趾全部往外跑。”

It must be the bad mood that drove me crazy enough to buy these craps. Within merely two days！ LOOK！ Look at all my toes waving their heads！

A進入店里。

Faker不屑，輕瞥了一眼道：“哎，舞跳得怎么樣了？”

So， how’s your dancing？

A苦笑道：“還跳舞呢，女朋友都因為它跑了！本來買雙鞋子想成為邁克爾杰克遜的繼承人的，但她怎么也理解不了我，還說我瘋了！大吵一架后她就拋棄了我——一個只有一雙破鞋的人”

My girlfriend dumped me because of these craps， say nothing about my dancing dream！ There was full of confidence in me to become MJ the second， but my girlfriend just couldn’t understand me. She even cursed me crazy！ After a heated argument， she left me -- the guy who merely has a pair of broken shoes on his feet！

警察上場

A抓著警察，著急道：“警察同志！我們發現了一個騙子！就是那個縮頭縮腦的人，他騙了我很多錢，快逮捕他！”

Police Comrade！ I have found a liar， right over there！ The guy that hiding all around！ He！ He cheated my money！

警察看向Faker，問道：“你就是那個騙子？”

Are you that liar？

Faker慌亂，反問：“證據…證據！”

Proof！Proof！！

A及時解釋，提起破鞋，道：“這鞋就是證據！”指著自己的腳趾并動動腳趾，道：“我的十個腳趾也可以作證，你看看呢邊還有一雙一模一樣的！”

These are the evidence！ Even my ten toes can be witnesses！ Look over there！ He’s still preparing to sell more fake shoes！

Jaime在A解釋時從店鋪后門出場，手里提著新做好的地溝油，作滿足狀。正要走向A卻發現了旁邊的警察，表情大變，急忙轉身躲進桌子底下。

警察看到A的鞋子后做思索狀，此時無意瞥見了縮到桌子底下的Jaime，道：“哎！這不是上次跑掉了的那個賣地溝油的小伙子嘛！”走過去把Jaime揪了出來。

You are the recycled oil guy who ran away last time， are’nt you？

Jaime驚慌地把地溝油藏到身后說道：“不，我什么都不知道！”指向FR說：“是他們兩個一直給我說這樣賺錢快！”

NO！ I know nothing！ They！ They are the guys inciting me with easy money！

警察到Richard攤位前面，把肉拿起來拎了一拎，道：“天哪！難道你在賣注水肉？”

Oh！ My god！ Are you selling water-injected meat？

Richard反駁道：“我們家的肉從來不摻水的，我們家只有酒摻水！”（忽然意識到自己說錯，驚恐）

There’s no water in my meat but my alcohol！

警察蔑視地一笑，冷笑道：“我相信你！”表情大變，怒嗔道：“全部帶走！”

Yeah， I buy it.

Detain them！

從臺下上來兩個人把FRJ押走。

警察指著FRJ下臺的方向怒道：“什么‘淘園三結義’，毀我典故！我看你們就是‘烏合之眾’！”

What “Oath of the Peach Garden”， you ruined allusion！ “Faker motley crew” would be more accurate！

A下臺。燈光師向警察打燈。

警察轉向觀眾正言道：“在剛剛結束的兩會中以及接踵而至的3.15晚會中，誠信經營再一次成為了熱門話題。廠家講誠信，消費者講誠信，商家更應該講誠信！一些反面教材警示我們，自作聰明，搞坑蒙拐騙最終只能是自尋死路。君子愛財取之有道。因而商家也一定要做到誠信為本，守法經營，再輔以優質服務自然會生意紅火，效益大增。俗話說，常在河邊走哪有不濕鞋。你手法再巧妙，方法再隱蔽，最終也難逃監管。與其鋌而走險做一錘子買賣，而且還將面臨被查處的風險，倒不如誠實守信經營，用良好的信譽和消費者口碑贏得更多的回頭客！”

In the just concluded two sessions and the following 3.15 party， credit management has once again become a hot topic. Manufacturers should be honest as well as consumers， and， most importantly， the merchants should also keep their credit. Some negative examples alert us that fooling or deceiving will lead only to dead end. If thy love the property， seek for it properly. Therefore， merchants must put the importance on keeping credit， abiding by law and high-quality of services which will naturally increase profits. As the saying goes， “Touch pitch， and you will be defiled.” Cleverness and tricks can’t help you escape from justice. Rather than take the risk of being detained to do one dishonest deal， it is always better to be honest and do trustworthy management. Only with good reputation come the continuity of customers！