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如何把握書面表達中正反兩方面觀點的立場?

2019-06-25 13:23:23Penelope
新高考·英語基礎(高一) 2019年1期
關鍵詞:習作作文

Penelope

高三上學期的期中考試(也稱“摸底考試”)剛剛結束,我們便迫不及待地分析下書面表達的呈現形式。徐州市高三摸底考試的書面表達在命題之前就被要求嚴格按照2018年江蘇高考的模式命制。命題人很好地遵循了這一原則。

2018年江蘇高考英語試卷的書面表達是針對Li Jiang和Su Hua的兩篇日記談談如何看待消費排名,理由2~3個支撐看法。徐州市的這篇書面表達也同樣編制了Li Jiang和Su Hua的兩篇日記,要求說的是對在線教育app學習的看法,支持還是反對,給出2~3個理由。類似的作文在2016年江蘇高考中也出現過,那一年寫的是對網絡投票的看法,文本中也是LiJjiang和Su Hua兩個人,一個對網絡投票欣賞,一個表示厭煩。這三篇書面表達在寫作內容中都要求考生用論據支撐自己的看法,這是重點。這類作文不是思辨,不可以支持和反對同時闡述。閱卷過程中凡是遇到正反兩個方面同樣分量寫的作文都會被判在不及格之下。原因有兩點,一是對題目要求沒有領悟;二是“生活中我們從不喜歡沒有立場的人”(某權威閱卷組長的話)。所以明確立場,把握好角度關鍵詞,教會學生如何在這類作文中勝出,至少不能失去不該失的分是我們的當務之急。

下面是徐州市摸底考試的書面表達,我們就來看看優秀的同學是怎樣按要求呈現自己的看法的,這些習作不是最好的,但是值得我們學習。

(徐州市2018~2019學年度高三年級第一學期期中抽測)

第五部分:書面表達(滿分25分)

81. 請閱讀下面文字,并按照要求用英語寫一篇150詞左右的文章。

Li Jiang

When I was in the primary school,I often met with problems which I could not work outon my own,especially in English and arithmetic. So I downloaded an online educational appnamed Zuoyebang. Since then,I have been using several kinds of such softwares,for example,Xuebajun and Haofenshu. Whenever I have a problem,I will tum to them. As a result,my studyhas been progressing steadily. I will strongly recommend these apps to my friends.

Su Hua

After entering the senior high,I found I had more and more difficulty learning maths andEnglish. As many online learning products are quite popular among other students,my parents subscribed to one for me too. After that,however,I feel as if I were going to two schools,onereal-world school and one online school. Every day I have endless exercises to do and feel verytired. Worse still,I feel I have lost interest in my study now. What shall I do?

[寫作內容]

1. 用約30詞概括上述利用在線教育app學習的現象;

2. 你是支持還是反對利用在線教育app學習?請談談你的看法,并用2~3個理由或論據支撐你的看法。

[寫作要求]

1. 寫作過程中不能直接引用原文語句;

2. 作文中不能出現真實姓名和學校名稱;

3. 不必寫標題。

我們先看看30詞概括的范文:

Possible version one:

As the Internet combines deeply with education,online learning apps are springing up. Manystudents have adopted them as efficient learning tools,which may also have negative effects onother students.

Possible version two:

Nowadays,Internet-based learning products are enjoying growing popularity. These apps,easyto access,are playing an increasingly important role in some students' study. However,results aresometimes unsatisfactory.

上面的兩篇范文中30詞概括的共同之處是,先總寫在線學習越來越受到人們的歡迎,而且對學生學習確實有很大的輔助作用,然后提及其也有負面影響。這是抓住了重點,合乎章法的做法,且語言精練,表達中肯,為過渡到第二段很好地發揮了啟下的作用。

2018年江蘇高考英語作文的30詞概括是對人們依據消費排名購物的看法,也是不同人有不同觀點,范文是這樣呈現的:

As a major channel of consumption information,the rating is an efficient source of information for shopping in our own consumption. Increasingly,the same rating may have different influences on different consumers.

聰明的讀者不難看出這個30詞概括和,上面的相似程度,所以有人就仿寫這個模式,把徐州摸底考試的作文寫成這樣:

With online learning products springing up in the market,students have alternative approaches to learning outside school. Interestingly,the same online learning apps may have different influences on different students.

仿寫真的是一個很不錯的主意??!

第二段主題句是我們最關注的問題——必須明確表達贊成或者反對!我們先看看范文的形式:

贊成觀點:

In my opinion,online learning apps are an inseparable part of a student's life and should be welcomed. After all,they are of great help to our study. For example,when I meet with a problem I can't work out after a few attempts,【|】will turn to my tutors there. A simple click of the button will bring me the answers,often with detailed analysis and different solutions. Besides,by participating inactivities such as talent shows on such websites,I have enjoyed myself and gained confidence.

反對觀點:

To be frank,I hold a negative attitude towards online learning products. First and foremost,they are mostly examination-oriented,and their websites are flooded with exercises and test papers. As a consequence,they are actually increasing our pressure instead of reducing our academic burdens. Worse still,with the aim to make profits some apps also offer games and chatting rooms. Once we become addicted to them and get lost,not only will we waste our money and energy but we will also be distracted from our studies.

無論是贊成還是反對,兩個版本都在段落的第一句中給出了明確的立場。贊成的論據是兩點,一是有幫助(ofgreathelp),并用例子說明;另一是有趣且能獲得自信(enjoyedmyselfandgainedconfidence)。作者使用一一個連接詞“Besides”連接兩點內容。表達反對觀點時,作者也說兩點:增加額外壓力(increasingourpressure)和浪費錢和精力,分散學習注意力(wasteourmoneyandenergy;bedistractedfromourstudies)。下面是學生們的習作,看看他們是從哪些角度寫自己的支持和反對的。

Student 1

From my perspective,I firmly believe that their advantages outweigh their disadvantages. Three indispensable reasons lie in my point of view. First and foremost,online apps undoubtedlyequip students with opportunities to study without any restriction on time and occasions. To acertain extent,they add a new dimension to study,thus arousing many students' enthusiasm andmotivation in otherwise flat schoolwork. Secondly,chances are that students are confronted withample difficult questions,which,if not handled on time,will be detrimental to their passion in study. Consequently,online educational apps should be given priority to when teachers are not in ourcompany. Additionally,online educational apps are indeed beneficial to those with independenceand innovation in study who can improve their effectiveness and regularly consider what theyvelearned.

Student 2

From where I stand,I hold a positive attitude towards online educational apps. Quite a fewreasons give rise to my opinion. Firstly,faced with many problems,as a student,sometimes ourteacher can't help us in time and we can turn to online learning products for help. Secondly,throughonline learning products,we can wrestle with problems in different dimensions and polish up ourlearning skills. Thirdly,it is very convenient for us to learn from online educational apps regardless oftime and places.

Student3

I am against the online education. I admit that these apps can help us in some ways,but inthe long term,we may develop a sense of reliance,making us lose faith in our own ability andconstantly seek the so-called right answers. Also,traditional wisdom has it that no pain no gain. If we use apps too much,we might be inclined to copying the answer without careful thoughts,weakening our thinking skills. Furthermore,exercises are used to test how we learn instead of whatthe answer actually is. Take my own experience for example. I once downloaded the Zuoyebangand used it almost every day. Since then,my grades have kept falling. Luckily,I have mended myways and made progress on my own.

這三篇習作語言老練地道,條理清晰,邏輯性強,立場鮮明地表明觀點,是學生們學習的榜樣。

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