The Fading Fad of Sweet Nothings

By Mao Li

Whispering sweet nothings to a loved one is becoming a fading fad.

This is the conclusion I reached when I glanced at some captions and illustrations of a certain popular TV series reposted on a friend’s WeChat moments. These clips claimed to be the stepwise guide for the moody literary youths on how to utter saccharine words to a lover. I clicked on it,only to find shallow words, like“You’re pretty, Yue’er,” “I don’t dare speak to you,” and “I’ll speak to you even if you don’t speak to me.”

How can such shallow words be counted as sweet nothings? This is simply evidence that indicates the plummeting IQ of ordinary men and women in love. Every day, they say something like “I love you, I miss you,” “I love you so much, I miss you so much,”“you’re so beautiful and I’m so fond of you”… Yet, the clichés they’re never tired of uttering are simply too much for bystanders,and in hindsight, the cheesy words are as transient as a fleeting cloud, and seem rather plain and boring.

So what are the real sweet nothings? They are the words that give you a warm feeling when you think of them later in your life—even if your love is gone. They are more than the words “I love you.”They must have a noble sensation that leave a deeper pain and intense love upon both partners.

Once I read someone’s message saying that a man in love should say no more than three sentences to a woman, that is,“You’re gorgeous,” “You’re slim,” and“Buy it if you like.” I couldn’t help laughing to myself. It seems to declare that as long as a lady boasts good looks and a pleasant figure, she can conquer the whole world, including possessing true love.

But is it really the case? Carrie Bradshaw, the protagonist of the American TV seriesSex and the City, can afford hundreds of brand-named shoes, yet is still obsessed with love affairs. The socalled desires are merely born out of love.

情話是一門失傳的藝術。

之所以得出這個結論，起因是朋友圈里有人轉發熱門電視劇配圖，號稱文藝青年情話指南。點進去一看，幾句情話實在簡陋得嚇人：“月兒好看。”“月兒是好看。”“我不理你了。”“你不理我，我還是要理你的。”

這樣粗淺的話，怎么能算作情話？這不過是凡俗情侶戀愛時智商急劇下跌的明證。每天都是愛你、想你，超級愛你、超級想你，你花容月貌、我一往情深……相愛的人不嫌棄用濫的詞，旁觀者只覺得太膩。再想想這些甜言蜜語，之后也不過是過眼云煙，頓覺沒什么意思。

情話是什么？情話是即便感情消失，在某個忽然回憶起他的時間點，心里也仍然一暖。除了“我愛你”之外，還享受過稍微不一樣的高級感受，然后痛得更深，想得更烈。

曾經有個讀者留言，說男人最好只說三句話：好看，不胖，買吧。看完啞然失笑，似乎對于一個當代女性來說，只要我漂亮、身材好，就能征服世界、征服一切，包括愛情。

是不是這樣呢？美劇《欲望都市》里女主角凱莉買上幾百雙幾百美元的鞋，依然要為愛情糾結不休。所謂欲望，不過就是跟愛有關的一切。

好幾年前，談過一次非常熱烈的戀愛，每天都要發短信說：愛你，想你。甚至覺得言語不過癮的時候，買張機票呼啦一下就把人送過去。

后來想想，情話之所以會消失，大概就是因為現在通信和交通都太發達，經不起長一點點的等待和發酵。愛他，就要馬上跟他在一起。所有情感專欄都會告訴你，言語是無力的、蒼白的，男人是最會說謊的生物，不要聽他話，要眼見為實。

Quite a few years ago, I was absorbed in a deep and passionate relationship. During that time, I never missed a day texting him “I love you. I miss you.” Moreover,when we found that words could not satiate our cravings for each other, I’d even buy a plane ticket in the spur of the moment and meet him in person.

But later, when I think it over seriously, I suspect that it is probably modern communication services and high-speed transportation that have gradually wiped out sweet nothings. Life is too short to put things off, or to waste time being apart. If you love someone, you should be with him or her at once. The love columns of any magazine will tell you that words are powerless when it comes to love, and men are twotongued creatures, so never listen to what he says, only trust what he does.

Yet, if there is a man in the world who is willing to lie a hundred times only to make you happy, how can it not be love?

In the BBC television seriesDoctor Foster, the protagonist,Simon Foster, who always cheats on his wife, says bitterly, bowing his head, “People say that the perfect story is that you meet this one person and fall completely in love, and then from that moment,you don’t need anything else.Despite the fact that the world keeps changing... Your work,your house and everything alters,you’re expected to stick with just this one person.”

What he implies throughout the show is the question: “How is it possible not to change? How can I love only one woman in my life?”

You see, love is so fragile, but truly romantic words will endure forever.

The love letters written by Zhu Shenghao, a scholar known for his translation of Shakespeare’s works, best depict what the real sweet nothings are. Every single line in his letters has a perfect one, such as “I wake up each morning and find how much I love you,” “I wish to have a small fight with you, and I wish to hold you,”“Tell me who is better, a pet kitten or me?” “I never worry about you growing old, as I’m sure you’ll be more adorable at that age,” and“We’re like a fifth wheel to the world, but at least we’re the whole world for each other.”

Zhu Shenghao’s sweet love words match closely with those of Wang Xiaobo, a renowned novelist in modern China. Their love letters prompt people into an innocent love relationship with their heart and soul.

You may consider it a happy life to drench yourself in compliments like “You’re gorgeous,” “You’re slim,” and “Buy it if you like.” At least you’ll know that someone cares about you, loves you, and is willing to pay for you, and the two of you will spend the rest of your time together. Just as what the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami says, “Love is a joy only to be found in an ordinary life.”

But sweet nothings make a difference.

Maybe after the end of a sevenyear relationship, there is nothing left but a single sentence. But it is that sentence that makes you understand the true meaning of love—it is always worthwhile striving for it.

Perhaps many years ago,when you heard sweet words for the first time, you realized how deep your love was. Even if you are now single, you are mentally interlinked with someone far away.

Yet ultimately, whispering sweet nothings have become a fading fad. No one will rack their brains again for romantic words aimed only to please their loved ones. Sweet nothings have been commercialized, and are printed on some beautifully wrapped gift with an expensive price tag to demonstrate that your love is no longer intangible.

I miss sweet nothings.

可是，如果這世上有一個男人，愿意為你撒上一百個謊，也未嘗不是一種愛。

英劇《出軌的愛人》里，擅長且多次出軌的男主角，痛苦地低著頭說：這個世界上什么都在變，工作會變、生活會變、城市會變，但人們總是告訴你，一輩子只能愛一個人，這個人永遠不能變。男主角的言外之意是：這怎么可能呢？我怎么可能愛一個女人永遠不變？

你看，愛情就是這么脆弱，可是情話可以永遠保存啊。

翻譯莎士比亞的學者朱生豪，在他被曝光的情書里，每一句都是最美情話。他寫“醒來覺得甚是愛你”，寫“我渴望和你打架，也渴望抱抱你”，寫“回答我幾個問題，我與小貓哪個好”，寫“不要愁老之將至，你老了一定很可愛”，寫“我們都是世上多余的人，但至少我們對于彼此都是世界最重要的人”。

這情話，跟王小波的情書一樣，叫人想跟他們一樣，去痛快、單純、熱烈地愛一場。

“好看”“不胖”“買吧”是所謂的幸福生活，因為你知道那個人疼你，喜歡你，愿意為你買單。你們將攜手度過人生。村上春樹也說，愛是“唯其平凡才有的樂趣”。

可情話啊，是不同的。

可能你跟一個人交往，一段七年的感情過后，就只剩下那么一句。但就是這句話，讓你明白，愛情沒什么值得不值得。

那一年你收到那樣的情話，發現自己是那樣被愛的人；雖然一個人生活著，靈魂卻有了相通的接口。

然而，情話終究成了一門失傳的藝術。沒有人再想破腦袋，只為給別人一句愛的驚喜。情話已經變成一門生意，被商人們印在包裝精美的禮品上，讓你付出一個昂貴的價格來證明，這不是虛妄的愛。

我懷念情話。