基于主題意義備考讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)

基于主題意義備考讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)——?jiǎng)游锲獜V東省河源市東源縣東源中學(xué)唐孝云

一、總體分析

在動(dòng)物類的讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)語(yǔ)篇中，由于動(dòng)物類型不同，與人類發(fā)生的故事也有所不同。分析近幾年的一些高考真題和模擬題如下表所示，與可愛(ài)動(dòng)物（包括小狗、小鳥(niǎo)、羊等）發(fā)生的故事往往有救助類、溫情類、成長(zhǎng)類；與危險(xiǎn)動(dòng)物（包括狼、熊、蛇等）發(fā)生的故事大多屬于遇險(xiǎn)類。

二、主題意義分析與情節(jié)構(gòu)建

（一）救助類

救助類包括兩種類型，第一種是人類救助動(dòng)物。故事情節(jié)是人類遇到受傷的動(dòng)物心生憐憫，實(shí)施救助，動(dòng)物剛開(kāi)始會(huì)害怕但很快感受到了來(lái)自人類的善意，得救后回到大自然；之后人類會(huì)擔(dān)心動(dòng)物的情況；重逢時(shí)，人類感到開(kāi)心，而動(dòng)物也表現(xiàn)出對(duì)人類的感恩讓人感到驚訝。這一類型的語(yǔ)篇旨在告訴人類要保護(hù)動(dòng)物，并與之和諧相處；第二種是動(dòng)物救助人類。故事情節(jié)則是，當(dāng)人類遇到危險(xiǎn)時(shí)，動(dòng)物發(fā)出警告提供幫助或動(dòng)物直面危險(xiǎn)對(duì)人類實(shí)施救助，人類感到驚訝不已并非常感激動(dòng)物的幫助。旨在贊美動(dòng)物的忠誠(chéng)，說(shuō)明動(dòng)物是人類的朋友，體現(xiàn)人與動(dòng)物之間的互相信任。

（二）成長(zhǎng)類

成長(zhǎng)類講述的故事雖然圍繞動(dòng)物展開(kāi)，但著重刻畫(huà)主人公從中得到一個(gè)教訓(xùn)或懂得了一個(gè)道理。例如，2022年福建省泉州一模，故事主人公因?yàn)樘鞖夂錄](méi)有親自出去遛狗，導(dǎo)致小狗走失，受到媽媽的批評(píng)，幸好小狗最終自己回到了家。通過(guò)這件事，“我”明白了要做一個(gè)有責(zé)任心的人。

（三）溫情類

溫情類包括兩種類型，第一種主要講述故事主人公與動(dòng)物在相處過(guò)程中，漸漸對(duì)動(dòng)物產(chǎn)生了如朋友或親人般的情感，而這時(shí)卻不得不與動(dòng)物分離。主人公為了不失去心愛(ài)的動(dòng)物而采取辦法，或者在別人的幫助下，最終得以和喜愛(ài)的動(dòng)物繼續(xù)待在一起。第二種類型，人類與動(dòng)物早已產(chǎn)生深厚的感情，講述人與動(dòng)物互相陪伴互相安慰的故事。構(gòu)建情節(jié)時(shí)側(cè)重突出人與動(dòng)物的溫情畫(huà)面，體現(xiàn)人與動(dòng)物之間濃濃的友情和親情，贊美人與動(dòng)物和諧相處的美好情感。

（四）遇險(xiǎn)類

在遇險(xiǎn)類型中，故事主人公遇到的是具有攻擊性的危險(xiǎn)動(dòng)物，主要描寫(xiě)動(dòng)物的攻擊，以及故事主人公在遇到攻擊時(shí)的心理變化和采取的脫險(xiǎn)措施。文章旨在分享一次難忘的經(jīng)歷或告訴讀者在面臨危險(xiǎn)時(shí)要保持沉著冷靜。

三、語(yǔ)料積累

（一）詞匯

1. roar v./n.（狼、熊、大象等）咆哮，吼叫

2. howl v./n.（狗、狼等）長(zhǎng)嚎，嗥叫

3. growl v./n.（狗、狼等）低聲怒吼

4. smell/sniff v.?聞/嗅

5. lick/bite v.?舔/咬

6. scratch/rub v.?抓撓/摩擦

7. fur/feather/paw n.?皮毛/羽毛/爪子

8. bark towards…wildly/weakly朝某個(gè)方向……瘋狂地/虛弱地叫

9. bark madly at sb.?朝某人瘋狂地叫

10. with full strength 用盡全力

11. be surprised/amazed at 感到驚訝、不可思議

12. be concerned about 關(guān)心

13. rescue/escape…from…從……救出/逃脫……

14. express one's gratitude 表達(dá)感激之情

15. shed tears of relief 流下欣慰的眼淚

16. stretch one's hand 伸出某人的手

17. hug/huddle the dog tightly

緊緊地抱著小狗

18. form/develop a close bond with

與……建立親密的關(guān)系

19. regard…as a friend/ a member of family 被當(dāng)作朋友/家庭成員

20. bend /kneel down彎腰、蹲下/跪下

21. dash into/towards 沖進(jìn)/向

22. stroke the pet撫摸寵物

23. smooth its feather 捋它的羽毛

24. wag its tail merrily開(kāi)心地?fù)u尾巴

25. bounce up上下彈跳

26. little sparkling/twinkling eyes亮晶晶的小眼睛

（二）句型

1. I was filled with a sense of satisfaction for knowing I have done just the right thing．

我的內(nèi)心充滿了滿足感，因?yàn)槲抑雷约鹤隽苏_的事。

2. It was on that day that I was aware of the value of responsibility．

正是在那一天，我意識(shí)到了責(zé)任感的價(jià)值。

3. Knowing that they could keep the lovely creature， they gathered around and stroked it gently， their little hearts filled with joy．

得知他們可以擁有那個(gè)可愛(ài)的小東西，他們環(huán)抱在一起，輕輕地?fù)崦瑑?nèi)心充滿了喜悅。

4. It was really an unforgettable experience and luckily we didn't get hurt and escaped successfully．

這真是一次難忘的經(jīng)歷。幸運(yùn)的是，我們沒(méi)有受傷，而且成功地脫險(xiǎn)了。

5. Sometimes a little kindness can make our world more glorious and harmonious．

有時(shí)候，一次小小的善舉能讓我們的世界變得更加美好與和諧。

四、技巧點(diǎn)撥

在動(dòng)物類型的讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)中，對(duì)于動(dòng)物的描寫(xiě)刻畫(huà)必不可少。除了在平時(shí)的英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)過(guò)程中積累語(yǔ)料外，在訓(xùn)練或者考試過(guò)程中，要細(xì)讀原文，抓住原文對(duì)動(dòng)物的細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)，并靈活運(yùn)用到續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)中。

（一）續(xù)寫(xiě)技巧 1：延續(xù)同樣的動(dòng)作，與之前進(jìn)行比較，或描寫(xiě)動(dòng)作的結(jié)果。

例1：2020浙江卷——遭遇北極熊的攻擊

故事原文：He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts… he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws．

續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)：他繼續(xù)對(duì)鐵絲網(wǎng)又拉又咬。后腳站立著，更猛烈地推著木柵欄柱。柵欄快要被他的巨大的爪子推倒了。

He continued to pull and bite the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts much more violently…h(huán)e almost tore down the fence with his massive paws．

（二）續(xù)寫(xiě)技巧2：描寫(xiě)動(dòng)物態(tài)度的轉(zhuǎn)變，由冷淡變得熱情，由謹(jǐn)慎變得不防備等。

例2：2020年10月浙江五校聯(lián)考——Sam幫助孤單的鄰居遛狗

故事原文：Roland was no exception. He was a magnificent German Shepherd（德國(guó)牧羊犬）， a little lazy and overweight though. He loved to doze in the backyard. He yawned and stretched his body as he heard the slowly approaching footsteps of Mrs. Proudfoot. “Come have your lunch dear！” said Mrs. Proudfoot with her usual fondness for him and he wagged his tail affectionately in return.

續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)：剛開(kāi)始時(shí)，Roland見(jiàn)到Sam要么只是輕輕地?fù)u搖尾巴，要么打個(gè)哈欠，舒展一下身體后繼續(xù)打盹。漸漸地，Roland聽(tīng)到Sam的腳步聲，它就會(huì)沖到門(mén)邊，充滿喜愛(ài)地?fù)u著尾巴等待著Sam的到來(lái)。

At the beginning， seeing Sam， Roland either wagged his tail politely， or yawned， stretched his body and continued his doze. Gradually， hearing Sam's footsteps， he would dash towards the door and wag his tail affectionately， waiting for Sam's coming．

（三）續(xù)寫(xiě)技巧3：重現(xiàn)原文對(duì)動(dòng)物的美的描寫(xiě)或與動(dòng)物互動(dòng)的溫情畫(huà)面。

例3：2022年廣東省廣州三模——“我”和奶奶一起建立帝王蝶驛站

故事原文：“I remember when I was a girl，” she said， “those orange and black butterflies were a common sight. Come late summer， there would suddenly be hundreds of them， and before long there were so many it felt like you were standing in an orange cloud.”

續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)：在某個(gè)陽(yáng)光燦爛的夏日，我親眼目睹了奶奶描述的美麗場(chǎng)景：成百上千的黑色和橙色相間的蝴蝶突然出現(xiàn)，那感覺(jué)就和奶奶一樣，像是站在橙色的云朵上。

On a sunny summer day， I witnessed the beautiful scene that Nana had told me and experienced the same feeling as Nana did—Hundreds of orange and black butterflies appeared suddenly， which made me feel standing in an orange cloud．

（四）續(xù)寫(xiě)技巧 4：對(duì)動(dòng)物的傷勢(shì)進(jìn)行描寫(xiě)——內(nèi)心由害怕到感謝，身體由受傷到康復(fù)。

例4：2022年大灣區(qū)模擬考試——卡羅琳救下斷翅小鳥(niǎo)

故事原文：The poor creature cried in pain， as its wings had been badly damaged…The poor feathered soul was wriggling （扭動(dòng)） about， with a fearful look in its eyes.

續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)：這只可愛(ài)的小動(dòng)物，翅膀已經(jīng)康復(fù)了，亮晶晶的小眼睛里沒(méi)有了害怕，在空中歡快地飛著叫著，像是在向Caroline表示感謝。

The lovely creature， with wings cured and no fear in its little sparkling eyes， flew and cried happily in the sky， as if expressing its gratitude to Caroline．

五、實(shí)例分析

（2023年1月浙江卷）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

I was invited to a cookout on an old friend's farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention. So I entered it. It was a hummingbird（蜂鳥(niǎo)）， desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spiderwebs（蛛網(wǎng)） and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up．

With the bird in my cupped hand， I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer.I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside， closing the door securely behind me．

When I opened my hand， the bird did not fly away; she sat， looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still， she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired？ Or too thirsty？

As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle， she began to move. I stopped and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away．

Hovering（懸停）， she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment this tiny creature looked into my eyes， turning her head from side to side. Then she flew quickly out of sight．

During the cookout， I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing， my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes， then let out a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment， all were speechless. Then someone said， “She must have come to say good bye.”

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為 150 左右：

2. 請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題紙的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph 1： A few weeks later， I went to the farm again.

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Paragraph 2： I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.

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（一）原文故事分析

原文故事講述“我”受到邀請(qǐng)去朋友的農(nóng)場(chǎng)燒烤，從廢棄房子的破舊窗戶上救助了一只被蜘蛛網(wǎng)困住的蜂鳥(niǎo)。在“我”準(zhǔn)備離開(kāi)的時(shí)候，蜂鳥(niǎo)飛到了“我”的眼前，似乎是來(lái)跟“我”告別。

（二）續(xù)寫(xiě)分析

這是一篇人類救助小動(dòng)物的語(yǔ)篇，根據(jù)故事的主題意義，旨在體現(xiàn)人類關(guān)愛(ài)和保護(hù)動(dòng)物，與動(dòng)物和諧共處。根據(jù)兩段段首句，第一段主要描述主人公“我”再次來(lái)到農(nóng)場(chǎng)后，牽掛著蜂鳥(niǎo)，希望再次見(jiàn)到她；第二段則描寫(xiě)蜂鳥(niǎo)出現(xiàn)后，她的行為表現(xiàn)以及“我”的內(nèi)心感受。

（三）情節(jié)構(gòu)建與策略運(yùn)用

1. 根據(jù)故事的主題意義和續(xù)寫(xiě)分析，構(gòu)建情節(jié)如下：“我”很擔(dān)心蜂鳥(niǎo)非常想要再次見(jiàn)到她→“我”在農(nóng)場(chǎng)里尋找蜂鳥(niǎo)→可是沒(méi)有找到，決定離開(kāi)→就在這時(shí)蜂鳥(niǎo)出現(xiàn)了→“我”很開(kāi)心很欣慰→蜂鳥(niǎo)歡快地飛著叫著，似乎是在表示感謝→“我”覺(jué)得很不可思議→“我”感到很滿足，覺(jué)得做了正確的事。

2. 技巧運(yùn)用

原文故事：she sat， looking at me with her bright eyes…Hovering（懸停）， she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment this tiny creature looked into my eyes， turning her head from side to side…She again looked directly into my eyes， then let out a squeaking call and was gone．

重現(xiàn)與蜂鳥(niǎo)互動(dòng)的溫情畫(huà)面，靈活運(yùn)用到續(xù)寫(xiě)中：

（1）How I hoped that she would sat on my hand and look at me with her bright eyes again.

（2）Hovering， she approached me and looked into my eyes as before.

（3）I stretched my hand and she sat on it， letting out a squeaking call.

（4）Then she flew up， turning her head from side to side as if expressing her gratitude.

（四）續(xù)寫(xiě)故事

根據(jù)續(xù)寫(xiě)分析和構(gòu)建的情節(jié)，運(yùn)用準(zhǔn)備好的語(yǔ)料進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)：

A few weeks later， I went to the farm again. It seemed as if I had formed a close bond with the hummingbird. The moment I arrived at the farm， I dashed towards the milking house directly， eager to meet her again. To my delight， the broken window was fixed， but to my disappointment， the hummingbird wasn't there. I couldn't help wondering if the tiny creature managed to go back home or was trapped again somewhere. How I hoped that she would sat on my hand and look at me with her bright eyes again. （88words）

I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. “It's you！” I cried. Hovering， she approached me and looked into my eyes as before. I stretched one hand and she sat on it， letting out a squeaking call. “Glad to see you again，” I responded， smoothing her feather gently. Then she flew up， turning her head from side to side as if expressing her gratitude. At that moment， I was filled with a sense of satisfaction and realized that sometimes a little kindness can make our world more glorious and harmonious. （88words）

六、模擬訓(xùn)練

（2021年11月臺(tái)州一模）Almost all the possessions had been sold to buy food and clothing for the family. At last， nothing was left but the pet lamb， Daisy. At the thought of parting with the little creature， Mrs.Grant felt sad because the children loved it very much. Having struggled hard， she had to make up her mind to sell the lamb. But she could not ask any child to go for the butcher. Finally， she went herself with a heavy heart， dragging her leaden feet， and bargained with the butcher for the sale of Daisy．

While the children were all playing with the lamb， the butcher and his boy came to the door. “You see I am here for the lamb，” said the butcher in a loud voice. Hearing this， one child ran to her mother's side， and asked what was happening in alarm. Mrs. Grant gently pushed the child aside， bent down and was about to tell the truth.

“That's my lamb now， Charlie！” said the butcher's boy in a playful tone， going up to Daisy with a rope in his hand．

“No， it is not your lamb. It is ours！” said Charlie， placing himself in front of it.

But the boy， pushing him aside， threw a rope round Daisy's neck， and began to drag the little creature away. The poor lamb bleated very sadly. The cry of grief which fell upon the mother's ears was too much for her， and her heart sank within her. In a moment ， begging with tearful eyes， the children were all around their mother with voices choking with sobs for their little pet．

“Pray， tell your boy to stop a moment，”she said in husky tones to the butcher.

The boy， at a word from the butcher， stopped dragging the lamb， and the little creature stopped its bleating．

In a trembling voice， Mrs.Grant explained to them how badly off they were after their father died. She also added that the kind butcher had given the money for Daisy. With this money， she could buy her children bread to eat.

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為 150 左右：

2. 請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題紙的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Paragraph1： But the more she explained， the stronger her children begged for Daisy.

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Paragraph 2： The butcher， who had been watching all， was touched in his heart.

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【參考范文】

But the more she explained， the stronger her children begged for Daisy. “Please， mom！ Let us keep Daisy！ We would rather go hunger than lose her！” the children pleaded， with tears rolling down their faces. It seemed as if Daisy had been aware of something for it began to bleat again with full strength and cried with greater grief. The children dashed towards the poor creature and hugged it tightly together. With heart bleeding， Mrs. Grant bent down and patted her children， “I know you have formed a close bond with Daisy and regard it as our family member.” Happy moments with the lovely creature flashed across Mrs. Grant's mind， and she struggled. （107 words）

The butcher， who had been watching all， was touched in his heart. “You can keep it，” the butcher made up his mind. Hearing what he said， the children and Mrs. Grant were all surprised， unable to believe their ears. The butcher turned to his son and stretched his hand， “Give me the rope， son.” Reluctantly， the son obeyed his father. Only when the butcher passed the rope to Charlie did they realize that he really meant it. “Thank you so much， sir！” they expressed their gratitude sincerely. Seeing the children stroking the pet joyfully， the butcher was filled with a sense of satisfaction for knowing he had done just the right thing. （106words）

七、結(jié)語(yǔ)

總之，在備考動(dòng)物類讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)，學(xué)會(huì)根據(jù)原文故事動(dòng)物的類型去理解和把握語(yǔ)篇的主題意義，有助于學(xué)生進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)分析和構(gòu)建合理的續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)，最終幫助學(xué)生運(yùn)用積累的語(yǔ)料完成故事的續(xù)寫(xiě)，實(shí)現(xiàn)解題能力的提高。

責(zé)任編輯吳昊雷