Going Out of Your Comfort Zone for the Child’s Growth為了孩子成長要走出舒適區

瑪麗亞·里茲萬/文　劉偉/譯

One of my friends was struggling to conceive a baby. After three years of marriage， she became a mother of an adorable baby boy. From the day she knew she was pregnant， she was too cautious. She did everything in her scope to save that pregnancy so that it could go smoothly and she could have a healthy pregnancy. During her pregnancy days， the doctor diagnosed her with a low-lying placenta. Therefore， they advised her to rest because she was told that if she exerted much， she could have heavy bleeding. However， those days passed gracefully， and she became a mother soon.

我的一個朋友原來一直在努力備孕?；楹笕?，她生下一個可愛的男寶寶，如愿成為母親。從知道自己懷孕的那一天起，她就萬分謹慎。她竭盡所能地采取保護措施，以期順利度過孕期，并且全程保持健康。孕期經醫生診斷，她存在胎盤低置的情況。大家建議她多休息，因為醫生告訴她，如果過度勞累，可能會大出血。不過，她平穩地度過了懷孕的日子，不久就成為人母。

After her son was born， she was too possessive and extra caring for him. It was hard for her to let him walk because she dreaded he might fall. She became used to going the extra mile to save her kid from any harm. Moreover， she would overthink a ride on the swing or even play with other kids could harm him physically. Deep inside， she was petrified of losing her child so much that she became an obstacle to his growth. Then she was told to let him grow. She had to go out of her comfort zone for that and struggled with herself to let him grow.

兒子出生后，她占有欲太強，對孩子異常關心。她很難放手讓孩子自己走路，因為她害怕他會摔倒。她習慣了加倍努力，為的就是不讓孩子受到任何傷害。她還思慮過度，擔心蕩秋千或者和其他孩子一起玩耍，會對兒子的身體造成傷害。她在內心深處唯恐失去孩子，以至于她自己反倒成為孩子成長的障礙。于是，我們告訴她，要放手讓孩子成長。為此，她必須走出自己的舒適區，在自我掙扎中放手讓孩子成長。

The nature of parents varies from each other. No two parents are the same. Therefore， all have different coping mechanisms. Some do not even give a damn about whatever their kid does the whole day. But some are so damn overprotective that they even bathe their toddlers with boiled water.

父母的性格各不相同。世上沒有相同的父母。因此，他們對待孩子也各有應對機制。有些人根本不在乎孩子一整天都在做什么，而有些人實在是保護過度，甚至用白開水給蹣跚學步的孩子洗澡。

As parents， it is essential to maintain a balance between being too careless and too careful. At every step of life， always think about two things：

作為父母，必須在過于粗心和過于小心之間找到平衡點。在人生的每一步，都要考慮兩件事：

If I behave like this， what consequences will it bring to my child？

如果我這樣做，會給我的孩子帶來什么后果？

If I behave like this， how will it affect my child’s growth？

如果我這樣做，會對孩子的成長產生什么影響？

For parents， not the same things work for all. There is no such formula that works perfectly， and that tells that this is fine and that is not. To let your child walk on their own， you have to leave their hand. Initially， it must be terrifying that they might fall， but for their growth， and betterment， you have to go out of your comfort zone.

同樣的事情并非對所有父母都有用。世界上沒有完美公式能確切指出這樣好，那樣不好。要讓你的孩子自己走路，你必須舍得松手。起初，他們可能會摔倒，你一定會因此感到恐懼，但為了他們的成長和進步，你必須走出你的舒適區。

In various stages of life， you would never want to get separated from your child even if they are grown up. But for their betterment， you will have to do this. In all cases， you must think about how a certain move will affect their lives and make them stand out shortly.

在人生的不同階段，你絕對不想和自己的孩子分開，即使他們長大了也是如此。但為了他們的進步，你必須舍得分開。在任何情況下，你都必須考慮某個舉動將如何影響他們的生活，并使他們很快脫穎而出。

I have seen some mothers sobbing on the first day of their child’s school. When asked， they tell you they have never got separated ever from their child. That makes sense. They need to be counseled and treated with empathy. But that does not mean that the kid would not go to school.

我見過一些在孩子上學第一天哭泣的母親。問及原因，她們會說自己從未與孩子分開過。這就說得通了。她們需要有人提供建議，需要有人設身處地地理解她們。然而，這并不意味著孩子不能去上學。

As parents， you have to kill your comfort zone for the sake of your child’s growth. That might not be easy for you at all. But you need to train yourself for it. Always think why you are behaving like this， and if you do not let your child grow right now， what consequences they will have to bear in the future because of this decision you took today.

作為父母，為了孩子的成長，你必須舍棄自己的舒適區。這對你來說可能一點都不容易，但你需要為此訓練自己。你要時時思考自己為什么要這樣做。還要想想，如果你現在不讓孩子成長，他們將來會因為你今天的決定而承擔什么后果。

（譯者單位：上海電子信息職業技術學院）