莫辜負時光

貝斯·威廉姆斯　

譯/張霄峰

曾祖父的葬禮激發了我首次關于死亡的思考?！拔覀儫o法阻止命運，”父親睿智地回答了我對死亡的憂慮，“我們惟一能做的，是在有生之日不要辜負每一刻。”

不要辜負每一刻。就像守護天使一樣，這句話從那天起一直守護著我，在焦慮的時候給我安寧，在脆弱的時刻給我力量和勇氣。

五年后的今天，我站在中學舞會上，周圍是七嘴八舌的一群女孩。當前的話題是新來的澳大利亞交換學生，可愛的杰森?？旄璧穆÷〈驌袈曂蝗煌Ｏ?，一曲慢歌充溢了喧鬧的體育館。我們的目光再次投向體育館對面——杰森正站在一群朋友中。但是周圍所有的女孩們都打定主意，寧可整夜坐在看臺上，也不愿冒被拒絕的風險。但是我決定直面挑戰。

“我去邀請他?！蔽矣職馐愕卣f著，轉身向體育館對面走去。穿過體育館的路仿佛沒有盡頭，我感覺得到朋友們的注視像烈火燒灼在背上。轉眼我就到了。我輕輕地拍拍杰森的肩忸怩地開口：“嗨，嗯，請你跳支舞好嗎？”

沉默。他的眼睛睜大了一些，看得出腦子里正尋找借口。最后他回答：“實際上，嗯……我沒打算跳這支舞?！?/p>

這句話是粉碎性的打擊。但我裝出無所謂的樣子，平靜地答道：“沒關系?！痹谒狼钢埃乙呀涋D過身，輕快地走回看臺。

在我的生命中有成功也有失敗，但是不會有遺憾，因為我知道，我不曾辜負生命中的每一刻，為了成功有時必須承受失敗。與其虛度整個舞會的時間，冒一下被拒絕的風險對我更有吸引力。我沒有辜負這一段時光。

幾分鐘后，另一支舞曲響起，令人驚訝的是杰森正朝我走來。

“嗨，愿意和我跳下一支慢舞嗎？”他靦腆地問。

我的手激動得有些發抖。“好，好極了。”我答以勝利的微笑。

夜才剛剛開始。

The funeral of my great-grandfather had spurred my first thought on the subject of death. “Theres nothing we can do to prevent our fate,” my father replied knowingly to my concerns about dying. “All we can do is to make each moment count while we are alive.”

Make each moment count. Like a guardian angel, these words have guided me from that day on. They have calmed me when I am nervous. They have given me strength and courage when I am weak.

Now, five years later, I stand in a cluster of gossiping girls at our middle school dance. The current subject is the adorable new exchange student from Australia, named Jason.Suddenly the booming beat of the fast song stops and a slower rhythm fills the bustling gym. Our gazes once again shift to the other side of the gym, where Jason is standing with a group of his friends. All of the girls surrounding me decide that they would rather sit on the bleachers the rest of the night than risk rejection.I, however, decide to face the challenge.

“Ill ask him.” I reply courageously, and I turn to walk across the gym. The walk across the gym seems endless. I can feel my friends gazes burning my back. Suddenly I am there. I tap Jason lightly on the shoulder and say timidly, “Hi, uh, would you like to dance with me?”

Silence. His eyes widen slightly and I can see his brain searching to find an excuse.Finally he answers, “Actually, uh, I was kinda planning on sitting this one out.”

The words are shattering. Calmly I reply, as if unaffected by this answer, “That's all right.” I turn away before he can utter an apology and walk briskly back to the bleachers.

Throughout my life there will be victories and defeats. There will not, however, be regrets, because I will know that I have made each moment count. Sometimes it takes a defeat to create a victory. Taking the risk of rejection was more appealing than wasting the whole dance wondering what would have happened.I made those moments count.

After a few minutes, another rhythm sounds up. To my surprise, Jason is coming my way.

“Hey, I was wondering if you would like to dance with me during the next slow song?” he asks sheepishly.

My hands are shaking slightly. “Yeah, that would be great,” I reply with a winning smile.

The night is definitely still young.