那個(gè)什么能使鬼推磨來(lái)著

Mr. M， I Miss You So Much

My dearest Mr. Money，

You went away from me quite a long time ago. Ever since you left I have been sad all the time. Each time I pass by the bank， I can’t help but stop to check if there is any message you left for me—the message to say you’ve come back. But none. The zero on the screen of ATM seem to laugh at me—send me quiver at your cruel indifference（冷漠）.

I love you so much. You mean to me a four square world—stability（穩(wěn)定）—obligations（責(zé)任）—freedom， and security（安全）. Without you everything seem to be quite different. Most of people feel ashamed to declare their love toward you in public， though secretly they still worship（崇拜） you as their only god. But I never have such intention of hiding my feelings for you. My happiness is near you. I got over endlessly in my thought your looks and the touch of you. Believe me that it is impossible for me to have a single thought that is not about you. But how could you have the heart to do this to me?

Is it my fault that you cannot love me? For you are the main aim of my life. Without you， I can’t even exist. It’s my responsibility to win your love not to fail you. Yes， perhaps it is myself I should blame for. I’ve never been your favorite type. I don’t have the good vision of seeing the whole picture， so I made wrong decision to let opportunity slip through my fingers. I’m not confidient enough; and I hesitate when I should take action immediately. The worst， I have a problem with the authority. I’m so damn emotional?鄄oritated（感情用事）! My feelings are always on my face for everyone to read. Listening to my own heart instead of your call， I keep those in power at arm’s length just because they happen to be the type I dislike or despise， while I devote fearless to those I like but no use to my future. I can’t help it. For that you pissed off me and left without turning around.

But dear， I love you， true. I am ready to sacrifice（犧牲） everything gladly for your sake（以你的名義）， everything， my energy， my time， take what you want. For you， I am glad to spend whole days facing a computer and looming deadlines， even that left me with backaches， neckaches， and headaches. I sharpen my skills day after day to prepare myself for any chance might arise. I even make compromises（做出妥協(xié)）—swallow my pride and show enough tolerance to unfair treatments. The only thing I can’t sacrifice for you is my own personality. You must understand， even you can’t force me to become someone else. Is that a good thing? I’m your unique admirer in a way. I love you with my special and insistent care.

Please come back to me.

Yours truly

Material Girl

評(píng)析：

本文可是笑料百出，幽默無(wú)比。作者用的題目是，Mr. M， I Miss You So Much，為了表示自己的清白，連Mr. Money都變成了Mr. M，而最后署名還用上了大名鼎鼎麥當(dāng)娜的Material Girl，物質(zhì)女孩！可謂心思縝密啊！

文章用書(shū)信的格式，描述了一個(gè)女孩子對(duì)金錢(qián)的熱愛(ài)，通篇用擬人的手法，說(shuō)明了一個(gè)事實(shí)：金錢(qián)先生離物質(zhì)女孩而去，她悲憤交加，發(fā)誓要把他挽救回來(lái)——這也表達(dá)了我們一撥人的心態(tài)：拜金主義下的虛偽，奸詐，但是又無(wú)可奈何。

文中用詞生動(dòng)，比喻恰當(dāng)，例如“The zero on the screen of ATM seem to laugh at me—send me quiver at your cruel indifference.”一句刻畫(huà)出當(dāng)女孩看到自動(dòng)取款機(jī)上的零存款時(shí)心酸無(wú)比的感受，而在我們旁人眼里看起來(lái)又是滑稽可笑。再比如，那四個(gè)詞，stability，obligations，freedom， and security，真是栩栩如生，勾勒出金錢(qián)對(duì)我們的重要性，等等。更多好玩有用的詞語(yǔ)我用黑體字，方便大家理解記憶。

轉(zhuǎn)念一想，我們又何嘗不是如此？為了這些物質(zhì)，我們都在無(wú)可奈何地奮斗著。

編輯/孫櫟櫟