幽默故事四則

未雨綢繆

There was an American couple who had no children， so they wanted to adopt(領養) a child. Finally， an orphanage(孤兒院)told them，saying，“We have a baby for adoption. It’s a Russian orphan.”The couple was happy and went to bring the baby home.

On the way home， they stopped by a university to neroll(登記報名)in a Russian course(課程)，“Why do you want to learn Russian?The English that we speak is a very good language，”the university secretary asked.

“Well， we just adopted a Russian baby. When he begins to speak Russian in a few years， we are afraid that we might not be able to understand him，”the couple answered.

我可以回家了

One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning， if any one of you can answer my first question， I will permit him or her to go home earlier.”

The next day， when the teacher came into the classroom， he found the blackboard daubed(亂畫). He was very angry and asked，“Who did it ? Please stand up!”

“It’s me，”said Bob，“Now， I can go home. Good-bye， Sir.”

怎么去吝嗇鬼家

A man finally decided to have a party， but his friend doesn’t know where he lives. Explaining to him how to find his apartment（公寓）he said，“Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow（肘）.When the door open， push with your foot.”

“Why use my elbow and foot?”

“Well， in my image（想象），”was the answer，“Your hand is full，aren’t you?”

大腦袋

“All the kids make fun of me，”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head.”

“Don’t listen to them，”his mother comforted(安慰)him.“You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for the pounds of potatoes.”

“Where’s the shopping bag?”

“I haven’t got one， use you hat.”