幽默放送

園藝手套

幾個月以來，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結(jié)婚戒指。生日那天，我正在干園藝活時，丈夫問我想要什么禮物。我舉起雙手說：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。”

那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開了丈夫送的禮物。“生日快樂！”他說。我打開一看，里面包著一雙園藝手套。

Gardening Gloves

For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring， since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday， while I was gardening， my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said， \"Well， you'll notice that my hands are bare.\"

Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. \"Happy birthday，\" he said， as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.

三條理由

老師：斯通，說出三條理由來證明地球是圓的。

斯通：媽媽是這么說的，爸爸是這么說的，你也是這么說的。

Three Reasons

Teacher: Stone， give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.

Stone: Ma says so， Pa says so， and you say so!

提醒

我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學(xué)的新生，開學(xué)幾個星期之后，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當我們來到宿舍時，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚?！巴宋覀円獊恚前桑俊蔽胰⌒λ?/p>

“開什么玩笑？”他回答說，“要不我憑什么費神打掃？”

Warning

Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan， my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to \"warn\" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm， however， I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. \"Forgot we were coming， didn't you?\" I teased.

\"Are you kidding?\" he replied， \"Why else would I have bothered to clean?\"

一分之差

位于印第安那州瓦巴西的懷茲中學(xué)，其門廳里懸掛著過去四十年間?；@球隊的照片。每幅照片前排中間的隊員舉著一個籃球，上面標明年份——“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。

一天，我看到一個新生很困惑地看著照片。他朝我轉(zhuǎn)過身來，說道：“多奇怪呀，這些隊都是以一分之差輸?shù)舻?！?/p>

One Point

Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash， Ind.， and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year --\"62-63\"， \"63-64\"， \"64-65\"， etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me， he said， \"Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?\"

腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎

1. 什么東西看不到卻能摸得到，萬一摸不到會把人嚇倒？

2. 實驗室里放著酒精燈和一只蠟燭，動手操作時，請問應(yīng)該先點燃什么？