我的校園生活

李池紅

學校的生活是豐富多彩的，同學們每天都會參予各種活動。那么，你的校園生活是什么樣的呢？下面就請你以自己的校園生活為主題寫一篇作文。要求：60~80詞左右。

My School Life

Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.

My schoolstartat 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name isYu Xiu Rong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I oftenhalpmy friends. I like PEvery muchtoo. We play football. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.

My schoollife endat 4:40. My school life isfun.

老師說：這位同學描述了自己一天的校園生活。我們來分析一下他的作文。首先start應該加s，學校是一個整體，應該用第三人稱單數形式；Yu Xiu Rong是他老師的名字，姓的第一個字母需要大寫，名的所有詞要放在一起，而且首字母要大寫，應改為Yu Xiurong；halp應該是“幫助”，屬于單詞書寫錯誤，應為help; I like PE very much too.這句話沒有語法錯誤，不過too與very much表示的意思在這里有些相近，而且very much在前面的句子中出現過，在英語中應該盡量避免重復使用一個詞語，可以把very much去掉； 學校放學直接用My school ends就可以；通過前面的敘述可以看出作者在學校的生活豐富多彩，所以可以說成interesting，比fun表達得更具體。

這樣作文看起來就舒服多了。下面是修改后的文章。

My School Life

Every day, I get up at 6:10. I have breakfast at 6:20. Then I go to school on foot.

My school starts at 6:45. I like English best. Because I like my English teacher very much. She is Miss Yu. Her full name is Yu Xiurong. She is tall and smart. I study maths well. I often help my friends with their maths. I like PE too. We play football on the playground. We are happy. After class, we play games. They are fun.

My school ends at 4:40. How interesting my school life is!