幽默放送

品德與禮貌

父親:學校的成績單上給你的品德分是D，禮貌分是A，你這是怎么搞的?

卡斯伯特:無論我什么時候打了人，過后我都會向人家道歉的。

Conduct and Courtesy

Father: The school report gives you a D for conduct and an A for courtesy. How did you manage that?

Cuthbert: Whenever I punch someone， I apologize.

上帝不聾但奶奶聾

兩個小男孩在他們的祖父母家過夜。睡覺時間到了，這兩個小男孩跪在床上祈禱。弟弟用非常大的聲音祈禱著，“我祈求有一輛新自行車……我祈求有一個新游戲機……我祈求有一個新錄像機……”

他的哥哥用胳膊肘輕輕地碰了他一下，說:“你為什么這么大聲地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聾子。”

弟弟解釋道:“上帝不聾但奶奶聾!”

But Grandma Is!

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime， the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. \"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR...\"

His older brother nudged him and said， \"Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf.\"

To which the younger one replied， \"No， but Grandma is!\"

媽，你肯定一直都表現很糟

母親:“每次你表現不好，我就多長一根白發。”

蘇茜: “天哪，媽，那你肯定一直都表現很糟，看看外婆吧!”

You Must Have Been A Terror

Mother: \"Susie， every time you misbehave， i get another gray hair.\"

Susie: \"Gosh， mom， you must have been a terror! Just look at Grandma!\"

第四元素

老師:自然界的四大元素是什么?

學生:火、氣、土壤和……和……

老師:和什么?想一想，你用什么洗手?

學生:肥皂。

The Fourth Element

Teacher: What are the four element of nature?

Student: Fire， air， earth， and... and ...

Teacher: And what? Just think it over， what do you wash your hands with?

Student: Soap!

腦筋急轉彎

1. 一個手無寸鐵的人鉆進獅子籠里，為什么太平無事?

2. 牛的舌頭和尾巴在什么時候遇在一起?

(答案在本期找)

腦筋急轉彎答案:

1.It’s empty.

2.In the restaurant.