Spring Festival I Can’t Understand

I tried hard to think of a positive side to Chinese Spring Festival. But the truth is， I can’t. Not because I don’t want to， but because there is a cultural block. I don’t feel any emotion connected with SF， because it isn’t part of me. I didn’t grow up with it; I don’t have any family close enough to really appreciate its significance.For the 3 years that I lived in Shanghai， I observed SF from the outside. I Googled; I read; I listened; I watched. I asked questions. Some very kind colleagues tried to explain. BUT， I never really understood.The pattern was always the same. 2 weeks before SF， the tension would increase. The chatter at lunchtime focused on one topic; The travel home. Everyone needs to be with their family， everyone needs a ticket. Everyone has a plan， and a back-up plan， and a second back-up if the first back-up fails. Every route is explored; Plane (usually too expensive)， train (preferred)， bus (ok for a few hours travel)， car (if you know someone else travelling to or past your hometown). Feel the anxiety. Guanxi is called in， spent， begged， given， traded. The boss must share the pain. Look the other way as your team disappear for 3 hour ‘lunch-breaks’ to go to the ticket office. Share the joy when a ticket is delivered. Like a prize in a lottery. Check the details (twice); Kiss the paper. Relief. Big smile. Phew， mum will be happy now. Think about the gifts. What to take? Food is traditional. Healthy fruit? Spicy meat? Yes. Snacks for the journey. And of course the hongbao. Can you get me three red envelopes please. Oops no， four， I forgot my new little brother(cousin). How much to put in? Can I afford one hundred. Yes， if I don’t go out next week. But the dinners with colleagues. Oh， I will manage somehow. Family will understand how difficult it is; how much effort I made to be there. I have my ticket. That is the most important thing.Everyone wants you to enjoy SF. But how? The usual questions; What are you doing for SF Mr Laowai? Will you travel? Are you kidding? Join 1.3 billion Chinese， all wanting to be somewhere else? My nightmare – I’m staying at home.The first year， naively， I went to the railway station to try and buy a ticket. Horrific scenes. People shouting， crying， pushing， everyone with huge bags. What makes these gentle people turn into monsters? SF of course.So eventually everyone gets to where they want to be. What now? Lots of dinners? Lots of chats. TV Gala’s. Visit the ancestors graves. Shopping. Telling happy ending stories. Playing cards or majong. More shopping. Special snacks between meals! Disorganised chaos. Happy family harmony.But what goes on in the background? My young team always dreaded the inevitable questions from their parents: You look thin. Are you eating properly? Do you have a girlfriend (boyfriend)? Whatever their answers， more questions would follow. Who is he (she)? Where is he from? Is she beautiful? How old is she? When will we meet him? Does he have a good job? A good family? A good education? Is he kind? Is he tall? Does he have a car? Does he have an apartment? The pressure to conform， follow the tradition， create and grow the next generation.And finally the fireworks. Wow， the incredible noise. Late at night; very， very late at night. Sleeping is not an option. The smoke; the pollution; the cost! Lots of theories about why they are so popular. Connections with the gods? Nah， Chinese men just like to make lots of noise.Stay a few days with the family， visiting relatives and old friends. Then the whole travel process begins again in reverse. Sometimes my team would be a few days late back to the office. Gifts from home. Mum’s cooking. Some new clothes. Tired， weary， exhausted. Was it worth it? Stupid question really. For most people， SF is not an option. It must be done. So， cheerfully accept and smile. One day， you can punish your kids by dragging them back from far away.Is it like Christmas? No.Is it like any Western festival? No.Will I ever understand it? No.