留美學生變身“社交女王”

對于在國外進修的中國留學生而言，要完全融入到異國他鄉的社交圈子里實在不是一件容易的事，而要加入美國大學中的兄弟會或姐妹會更是需要十足勇氣。來看看留美女生繆思是如何蛻變成“社交女王”的吧！

When many Chinese studying abroad lock themselves in the dorm， library or the “comfort zone” of hanging out with fellow countrymen， Miao Si has broken the cocoon and emerged as a social butterfly among her foreign peers.

Miao， 19， is spending her second year at the University of Wisconsin， US. When she first arrived at the school， Miao threw herself into parties held by Americans.

Miao explained， “Chinese on a foreign land tend to flock together. But I pay extra efforts to mingle with Americans because a person’s social circle determines his/her life. I want a ‘real’ US college life.”

Party is big in Americans’ campus life. Fraternities and sororities hold parties with various themes every week. You can dance heartily in clubs or enjoy drinking games in a local student’s house.

Miao didn’t worry about dressing up—the dress code is as casual as vest， skirt and sneakers. The part that worried her was having small talks with strangers at parties.

Puzzling slang kept popping up during the conversation. Boys were crazy about American football. Girls were all talking about Jersey Shore， a TV show popular in the US but unfamiliar to Chinese.

There are few people who are happy to repeat them—selves for you to understand what they are talking about. Facing “cold shoulders”， Miao had no other choice but to keep asking and learning. Her small—talk skills improved thanks to her party experiences and proved vital to Miao’s success in the rush for sororities at the beginning of her sophomore year.

Miao rushed for 11 recruiting activities held by different sororities in one night. She chatted with a member from each sorority on various topics， trying hard to find chemistry with each member. If the member feels the chemistry， you are in. If not， the picky “judges” will tell you that you are out with an impatient look. It sounds like a job interview， but is far more difficult than that.

“You can google some background information about the company before a job interview，” said Miao. “But it’s impossible to know about the randomly assigned ‘interviewers’ at sororities in advance. I had to keep starting small talks to find common ground.”

Miao was the only international student confident enough to rush for sororities at her university this year. And she got admitted to her favorite sorority.

“Rushing for recruiting activities held by sororities is the most challenging social activity I’ve ever been through. Now I think I can handle any social situation in the future，” said Miao.

當很多中國留學生選擇將自己關在寢室、圖書館中，抑或是待在中國同伴扎堆的“自在地帶”中消磨時光時，繆思早已破繭而出，成為外國同伴中的社交女王。

19歲的繆思現在在美國威斯康星大學讀大二。她一到學校便參加到各種美國人舉辦的派對中去。

對此，繆思解釋說：“中國人到國外常常會扎堆聚在一起，而我之所以想方設法地想要融入到美國人的圈子里，是因為一個人的社交圈決定了他/她的生活狀態。我要的是那種真正的美國大學生活。”

派對在美國的大學生活中占有舉足輕重的地位。兄弟會和姐妹會每個星期都會召開各種各樣的主題派對。你可以在俱樂部里盡情地跳舞或到當地學生家中玩酒桌游戲。

繆思并不用為著裝發愁，服裝要求通常十分隨意，背心、短裙加帆布鞋就OK了。她擔心的是如何在聚會上與陌生人聊天閑談。

聊天過程中時不時地蹦出幾個令人費解的俚語。男生們癡迷于橄欖球，女生們的話題則離不開美國當紅真人秀節目“澤西海岸”，而中國學生對該節目知之甚少。

很少有人會愿意為了讓你聽懂他們在說什么，而重復他們剛剛說過的話。當遭遇旁人的冷漠時，繆思別無選擇，只能不停發問和學習。她的交談技巧能夠得以提高，參加派對的經歷功不可沒。也正是這些技巧使得她能夠在大二伊始成功加入姐妹會。

繆思曾在一個晚上趕場般地參加了11場由不同姐妹會舉辦的納新活動。她同每個姐妹會中的一位成員就五花八門的話題展開交談，極力地想在每位成員的身上找到默契。如果姐妹會的成員領會到了默契，你便有資格入會。否則，這些挑剔的“面試官”會用一副不耐煩的表情踢你出局。這聽上去像是求職面試，卻遠比找工作還要困難。

繆思表示：“在求職面試前，你可以到網上搜索關于這家公司的信息。可是要想事先了解姐妹會隨機安排的“考官”的情況，那幾乎是不可能的。因此我必須不停地交談以尋找共同話題。”

繆思是她所在學校，今年唯一一個有自信敢于參加姐妹會納新活動的留學生。她最終加入了自己最喜歡的一個姐妹會。

繆思說：“參加姐妹會的納新活動是我所經歷的最具挑戰性的社交活動了。現在我覺得自己可以應付今后任何一個社交場合。”