男閨蜜——

“Guy friends” have the potential to enrich your life in ways that female friends and boyfriends just can’t. Firstly， they provide an insider’s perspective on how men think， feel and behave. When dealing with male relatives， male coworkers and even boyfriends， another man’s point of view can be incredibly useful. Three hours spent analyzing a situation in a café with your girlfriends can’t compete with a quick chat to a guy friend.

“I love getting a new perspective from guy friends，” said Nellie， 22， an Interior Design student at the University of Technology， Sydney. “In particular， when I’m arguing with my boyfriend， my guy friends provide me with an understanding of where he may be coming from， standing in the man’s point of view.”

Many women find that time spent with male friends can be a liberating and somewhat refreshing break from spending time with female friends. Without the judgmental gaze of other females， there is less pressure to dress up and compete for attention.

“I think guy friends are a lot more easy—going，” said Johanna Gibson， 22， a Media student at the University of Sydney. “I find they’re more protective and generally look out for you in the same way that an older brother would.”

Traditionally， girl-guy friendships are seen as hard to maintain. Most relationships between males and females that we come across in our day-to-day life， in movies or books， are romantic by nature. These cultural images make girl-guy friendships seem impossible.

Yet in reality， as gender roles loosen and equality becomes a norm in the workplace， it has become much more common for platonic friendships to blossom.

“The belief that men and women can’t be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace， and the only way they could get together was for romance，” explained psychologist Linda Sapadin to Psychology Today magazine. “Now they work together and share sports interests and socialize together.”

Today， the main obstacle to cross-gender friendships is often jealousy from a romantic partner. To overcome this， communication is essential.

“My boyfriend has met all of my guy friends so he’s quite accepting of me hanging out with them，” said Nellie. “Because we’ve been dating so long， there’s a high level of trust where he knows I will make the right decision when choosing who to be friends with. He understands that the kind of time that I spend differs between guys and girls. When I’m out with the girls， we’re gossiping or talking about clothes but when I’m spending time with the guys， it’s different. I think their carefree and ‘whatever goes’ attitude can sometimes be exactly what I need.”

與你的女性朋友和男友不同，“男閨蜜”可以通過另外一些方式來讓你的生活變得更加多彩。首先，他們可以就男性的想法、感受以及行為給出一些內(nèi)部人士的觀點(diǎn)。在處理與男性親屬、同事、甚至另一半之間的關(guān)系時(shí)，另一位男性的觀點(diǎn)會(huì)極其奏效。與其花三個(gè)小時(shí)同閨蜜坐在咖啡館中一起分析狀況，不如同男閨蜜的一次快速交談。

22歲的奈麗是悉尼科技大學(xué)室內(nèi)設(shè)計(jì)專業(yè)的一名學(xué)生，她說：“我很喜歡從男閨蜜那里得到一種全新的觀點(diǎn)。尤其是在同男友吵架時(shí)，男閨蜜們能站在男性的角度告訴我男友是怎么想的。”

很多女性發(fā)現(xiàn)，花時(shí)間同男性友人相處，可以說是與女性朋友相處之后的一種釋放，或者某種程度上是一次放松身心的休閑時(shí)光。因?yàn)樯倭似渌榈哪欠N主觀的評(píng)判目光，你不必為穿著打扮和爭(zhēng)搶風(fēng)頭而勞神。

就讀于悉尼大學(xué)傳媒專業(yè)，22歲的喬娜·吉普森說：“我覺得男閨蜜要隨和得多，他們更具有保護(hù)欲，會(huì)像大哥哥那樣照顧你。”

長久以來，人們都認(rèn)為男女間的友誼很難維持。在書籍或電影中、在我們?nèi)粘Ｉ钪兴龅降拇蠖鄶?shù)男女關(guān)系都會(huì)自然而然產(chǎn)生化學(xué)反應(yīng)。這些文化意象讓人覺得男女間沒有純潔的友情。

但在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，隨著性別角色意識(shí)淡化、男女平等成為職場(chǎng)的規(guī)范，男女之間的柏拉圖式友誼也更為普遍地肆意增長了。

心理學(xué)家琳達(dá)·薩帕丁在接受《今日心理學(xué)》雜志采訪時(shí)解釋道：“男女不能成為朋友這種說法產(chǎn)生于另外一個(gè)時(shí)代，那時(shí)女人在家，男人工作，只有通過愛情他們才能呆在一起。而如今，男人和女人一起工作、享有共同的體育愛好、一起參加社交活動(dòng)。”

現(xiàn)如今，這種跨越性別的友誼所面臨的主要障礙往往是另一半的嫉妒。想要克服這點(diǎn)，溝通交流尤為重要。

“我的男友見過我所有的男閨蜜，所以對(duì)于我與他們一起打發(fā)時(shí)間這件事，他毫無怨言。”奈麗說，“我倆已經(jīng)約會(huì)很長時(shí)間了，對(duì)彼此的信任已經(jīng)到達(dá)了一定高度，他知道我能夠在交友方面做出自己正確的選擇。他懂得我與男生和女生在一起時(shí)玩的不同之處。如果我和女生們出去，我會(huì)聊聊八卦和衣服。但如果是和男生一起，情況就不一樣了，有時(shí)候他們那無所謂、放任自流的態(tài)度正是我所需要的。”