預期之痛

The other day I had to get some 1)moles removed, after a 2)biopsy showed they were“severely 3)atypical.” Since they were both on my back, I laid on my stomach while the doctors assistant numbed the areas with 4)lidocaine.

He repeatedly asked me, “Are you okay?”And I repeatedly said, “Just fine!”

Since it didnt really hurt that much, it surprised me when he said, “Wow. Youre strong!”

I do believe Im strong, but Ive always been 5)squeamish around needles—going back to my first childhood finger prick, which I resisted with 6)bloodcurdling 7)wails.

Still, this time, the needle prodding didnt even 8)faze me.

So what was different this time? One thing: I couldnt see it. And because I couldnt see it, I responded only to the physical sensation—not the expectation of pain and discomfort.

How much of lifes toughest challenges would be far less painful if we didnt anticipate the sting?

幾天前，因為活組織切片檢查結果顯示為“重度非典型”，我得去做一個胎痣切除手術。由于兩顆痣都長在背上，所以我俯臥著讓醫生助理用利多卡因為我進行局部麻醉。

他不停地問我：“你還好嗎？”我也不停地回答說：“我很好！”

因為確實不是很疼，所以當他說“哇，你真勇敢！”時，我著實吃了一驚。

我固然認為自己很堅強，但一直以來我總是一見到針頭就感到惡心——回想起我小時候第一次被扎手指抽血時，我撕心裂肺地嚎啕大哭。

但這次，我幾乎感覺不到針頭扎進我的皮膚。

那么這次有何不同呢？關鍵的一點是：我看不到針頭。因為我看不到它，我只能通過身體上的感覺去作出反應——而非預期的疼痛和不適。

若是我們沒有料想人生中那些最艱難的挑戰所帶來的刺痛，那有多少挑戰并非如此痛苦呢？

How many difficulties would seem more bearable if we didnt 9)ruminate over them, stress about them, expect the worst of them, and then create a state of panic that compels us to resist and fight?

Most things arent nearly as bad as we imagine theyll be when they happen. In fact, sometimes theyre pleasantly surprising.

Sometimes you get laid off and feel a sense of freedom, possibility, and vitality that you havent felt in years.

Sometimes you end a relationship and come into your own in a way you never imagined possible.

And sometimes when your whole world falls apart, you feel grateful for the opportunity to put it back together in a way that feels more 10)authentic.

I realize this isnt universally applicable. Some things hurt, even when we consciously decide not to expect the worst.

But most things burn far less when we approach them from a place of clarity, instead of overwhelming ourselves with fears about the fires well have to put out.

When I originally had the moles biopsied, I told a couple of family members—one of whom asked me, “Do you think it could be cancer?”

I responded, “I dont think anything, because I dont yet know.”

As a lifelong worrier, I felt proud of that moment. It was a choice not to freak out about what might be coming.

We cant always be certain where the paths we fear may lead us—but we can choose not to hurt ourselves as we walk toward what will be.

若我們沒有反復思量、過度緊張、做最壞的打算，然后制造一種恐慌狀態，迫使自己非抵制、斗爭不可，那有多少的磨難會顯得更容易承受呢？

大多數事情發生時，并不像我們想象的那么糟糕。事實上，有時候會有意外的驚喜。

有時候，你遭解雇了，卻反倒重拾久違多年的自由感，感受到新機與活力。

有時候，你失戀了，卻反而以一種從未認為能夠實現的方式回復真實的自我。

有時候，當你的世界瞬間分崩離析，你會感激自己能有這樣一個機會，以一種更為真實可靠的方式來重塑自己的世界。

我知道這并非普遍適用的道理。即使我們有意識地決定不做最壞的打算，有些事情的確還是會讓人受傷。……