酒吧游戲知多少

By Oz and Hugh

But its not all about drink. We need to think about the entertainment， too.

Hugh Dennis： Where do you stand on the pub game then？

Oz Clarke： I think its like， you know， do you like Devil Amongst the Tailors， for instance？

Hugh： Ive no idea what it is. Sounds good. What happens？

Oz： Im trying to remember. Bat and Trap， thats pretty good. Thats a Kent game. Ring the Bull， have you tried that？

Hugh： I think I would have remembered.

Oz： Aunt Sally. Have you played Aunt Sally？

Hugh： Youre making all this up again， arent you？

Oz： Youll tell me youve never heard of *Dwile Flonking！ Hugh： Dwile what？

但是，并不只是酒。我們也需要想點娛樂活動。

休·丹尼斯：你一般玩些什么酒吧游戲？

奧茲·克拉克：就是那種，你知道的，比方說，你喜歡玩惡魔大戰裁縫嗎？

休：我不知道那是什么。但聽起來不錯。是什么呢？奧茲：我也想不太起來了。擊球陷阱游戲也很棒，那是肯特人常玩的游戲。套公牛，你玩過嗎？

休：這個我有點印象。

奧茲：瞄準薩莉。你玩過這個游戲嗎？

休：你又開始吹了，是吧？

奧茲：不要告訴我你沒聽過丟丟布！休：什么東西？

Oz： And basically its an ancient court game， from the court of King Offa in Mercia， often played to the Waverny Rules； 1585， they were invented. The people round the edge are“1）girters.” Theres someone in the middle who is actually going to be Dwile Flonking. Got a 2）swage on the end of his 3）driveller and basically hes…hes trying to score a 4）wanton， a 5）morther， or a 6）ripple. Three points， two points， one point. And they are just about to start.

Hugh： OK， so thats clear as mud. The girl in the middle stirs a sponge in beer then chucks it at the 7）yokels， all while a bloke dressed as the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang plays the bagpipes. Just another drinking game.

Oz： Exactly！ Now， before we can play， weve got to get into character.

Hugh： Did I say I wanted to play？

Judge： Any way you wish. And to the left.

Oz： Now， watch a master at work. My aim is true.

Player： Look. My pants are all wet.

Hugh： Yep， Oz has targeted an innocent lady in an inappropriate place.

Judge： We have a hesitation.

Oz： I didnt know I was supposed to do it.

Judge： I just told you！

Oz： You didnt tell me when.

Judge： I blew the whistle. Two points away for Mr. Clarke. Hesitation！

Hugh： This is what youve been waiting for.

Oz： So， watch closely. Its three points for the ultimate flonk. Thats a swage to the head from the flonkers driveller. I think he did that on purpose.

Hugh： Yep， and I think I know who paid him.

Oz： So thats Dwile Flonking. Fancy it for our pub？

Hugh： I think Ill stick to darts.

奧茲：這其實是個古老的宮廷游戲，源于麥西亞奧法國王的王宮，通常按照韋弗尼規則來玩，這是在1585年發明的游戲。站在外圍的人稱之為“圍圈者。”圈子中間的人來丟酒布，他有一根桿，沾滿酒的布就綁在桿子的一端。他努力嘗試擊中其他人的頭部、身體或者是腿部，依次會得到三分、兩分和一分。游戲馬上開始了。

休：好的，簡直是一頭霧水。那個在中間的女孩把一頭包著吸水布塊的桿子在啤酒里攪動，然后朝周圍一群打扮成鄉巴佬的人甩出去，同時，一個穿得像《飛天萬能車》中的接球手一樣的小伙子吹起風笛。這就是一個飲酒游戲。

奧茲：正是這樣！現在，在開始玩游戲之前，我們要先進入角色。

休：我說了我想玩嗎？

裁判：你想從哪邊開始就從哪邊。左邊！

奧茲：現在，看我的。我的目標很明確。

選手：看，我的褲子都濕了。

休：是的，奧茲錯誤地瞄準了一位無辜女士的某個身體部位。

裁判：有猶豫。

奧茲：我不知道我應該這么做。

裁判：我剛不是告訴你了嗎？……