從死亡想到的

by anonymous

Sometimes， I wonder what draws the line between merely[僅僅] living and actually being alive. Obviously， theyre nowhere near[差得遠(yuǎn)] being the same thing. This question has sprung up[出現(xiàn)] several times throughout my life. It happened to come up more frequently as I found myself maturing[成熟] at a much faster pace， along with every single one of my peers[同輩]. As we began to mature， I understood that there were very serious topics that we had taken lightly and， unfortunately， often joked about.

It was my junior year注 in high school， there was a kid who was a year younger than me that committed suicide[自殺]. Not long after， a fellow peer that I went to junior high with passed away from a disease called Cystic Fibrosis[囊腫性纖維化]. After hearing the news on one random[任意的]， rainy day at school， I was in utter[全然的] shock all day. I remembered those times I spent with him， both the good and the bad. I began to tear up sometime during school， but I refrained from[忍住，控制] actually crying.

有時(shí)候，我不知道界定純粹生存和真正活著的界線是什么。顯然，二者是兩碼事。這個(gè)問(wèn)題在我的人生中出現(xiàn)過(guò)幾次。當(dāng)我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己和其他同齡人成熟得更加快的時(shí)期，這個(gè)問(wèn)題恰巧出現(xiàn)得更加頻繁。隨著我們開(kāi)始成熟。我意識(shí)到有些嚴(yán)肅的話題，過(guò)去都被我們輕視了，而更不幸的是，它們往往被我們用來(lái)開(kāi)玩笑。

高中三年級(jí)，一個(gè)比我小一年的學(xué)生自殺了。不久之后，和我同年級(jí)的一個(gè)同伴因?yàn)榛剂艘环N叫囊胞性纖維癥的病而去世了。某一個(gè)雨天，在學(xué)校得知這個(gè)消息后，我一整天都處于震驚的狀態(tài)。我想起和他在一起的時(shí)光，既有好的也有不好的。在學(xué)校里我開(kāi)始變得心煩意亂，但始終強(qiáng)忍著淚水。

I remember crying for long hours when I had someone dear to me pass away. It was my close friends father. He was not only a husband and father， but he was the friendly man that everyone wanted to be around at church， as well. He used to joke about me being his daughter-in-law and I joked along. I remember when he and my father used to drink together and both of them had the potential to crack me up[使捧腹大笑]. I loved seeing him make everyone smile. After his unfortunate death， I realized that people could leave without the slightest warning. From then on， I lived everyday in honor of that. After seeing his body in his casket[棺材]， I could swear I saw him smirk[傻笑] a bit. I guess the happiest of people never lose their light. Even till this very day， I feel the warmth of his smile glistening[閃光] upon me.

After the recent death of a close relative， I understood that death is inevitable[不可避免的]. It happens to everyone at one point and all in a different manner too. Some deaths are faster than others， and some are by choice， while others are not.

Death comes in different forms， but， again， the truth behind it is that death is inevitable. Beyond the idea of what will end up happening to each individual， its the fact that we do die. What makes death matter so much？ Its all about how you live your life. Its about what you accomplish[完成，實(shí)現(xiàn)] or what you can prove. Just like my friends dad， my fellow peer， and the student from my school， its the impact[影響] you have on the lives of people around you. The legend that lives beyond the death of the person is what truly matters.

我記得當(dāng)我聽(tīng)說(shuō)一位親密的人去世時(shí)，我哭了很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間。那是我好友的父親。他不僅是一位丈夫和父親，還是教堂里每個(gè)人都想接近的和善的人。他以前總是開(kāi)玩笑地把我稱作“兒媳婦”，我也跟著一起說(shuō)笑。我記得他以前和我爸爸一起喝酒，他們總有讓我笑翻的能力。我喜歡看到他讓每個(gè)人發(fā)笑。他的不幸離世，令我意識(shí)到人可以毫無(wú)征兆地離開(kāi)。自那以后，我每一天都謹(jǐn)記這一點(diǎn)。看到躺在棺材里的他，我可以發(fā)誓我看到他依舊臉帶笑意。我想最快樂(lè)的人永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)失去他們的光彩。直至今天，我依然可以感受到他的笑容在閃閃發(fā)光。……