小紅莓果醬有話要說

by Will Stephen

No， trust me， I get it. Im the cute one. Im sweet， Im red， and I plop[撲通落下] out of a can. Its fun. Its endearing[討人喜歡的].

But enough is enough[適可而止]. My therapist[（心理）治療師] told me to be direct about my feelings—to really engage with[建立友好關(guān)系] everyone—so before you all dig in and give your thanks， I would like to say a few things that have been on my mind for a while now. Because damn it， Im a legitimate[正統(tǒng)的] part of the meal， and its about time I was treated as such.

Ahem.

Plainly[明白地] put， Im very， very sad. OK？ Hurt， humiliated[屈辱]， a little fed up[厭倦] maybe. Whatever you want to call it， something clearly isnt right here， and we—well， I was about to say we all know it， but judging from the looks on all of your faces， I seem to be the only one who thought there was a problem. Am I correct？ Wow. All right. Unbelievable[難以置信].

沒錯，相信我，我搞得很清楚。我就是一萌物。甜甜的，紅紅的，撲通一聲從罐頭跳出來，多有趣，多討喜啊！

但適可而止吧！我的理療師告訴我要直面自己的情感——才能真正地與所有人交好——所以在你們挖空所有來表達(dá)感謝之前，我想趁現(xiàn)在把這段時(shí)間以來積壓在心頭的話一吐為快。因?yàn)椋撍赖模铱墒秋嬍巢筷?duì)里的正規(guī)軍，是時(shí)候被名副其實(shí)地對待了。

呃哼。

坦白說，我相當(dāng)、相當(dāng)傷心。懂嗎？受傷，受辱，也許還有點(diǎn)厭倦了。不管你想怎么形容吧，很明顯這里有些地方不對頭，而且我們——哦，我打算要說的是，這事兒我們都心知肚明，但從你們的表情來看，我似乎是唯一一個意識到問題存在的“人”。我說的對不對？哇哦！好吧！難以置信。

There goes a whole year spent planning this moment to a T[絲毫不差地]， but you know what—hey， no problemo[（西班牙）沒問題]. Happy to accommodate[適應(yīng)]. I guess its my fault for assuming I was anything more than a glorified[美化了的] dipping sauce[蘸醬] to you people.

Look， do you think I dont see what you see？ Im disgusting[令人厭惡的]. I stick out like a sore[疼痛的] thumb. A red， wobbly[擺動的] sore thumb. Plopped down on this table with the ridges[山脊] from my can still branded[銘刻] into my side， shaming me—your store-bought freak[怪物]， your high-caloric[卡路里] Hester Prynne注1. You could at least slice[切片] me and give me an ounce[盎司] of dignity[尊嚴(yán)]. But no， thats life， baby. Thats me： Thanksgivings Elephant Man注2. Just the cold， wet afterthought to a piping-hot[滾燙的] feast cooked with patience and love. Here to jiggle[搖晃] for you， to be cut with a spoon， and to silently weep.

God， and to think that I spent years in factories， in boxes， on trucks and on shelves， all to be hidden behind your basted[涂油烤的]， seasoned[調(diào)過味的]， and—lets be honest—pretty overcooked “delicacies[佳肴].”For what？ For this. You know， I deserve[應(yīng)得] some credit for even being a part of this tradition. To say the odds were against me[面臨重重困難] would be putting it mildly[溫和地]. But I earned this. Because guess what？ Deep down[事實(shí)上]， Im good.

人家為了恰到好處地展現(xiàn)這一時(shí)刻都已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備了一整年，但你猜怎么著——嘿，沒問題，快樂地去適應(yīng)吧。我猜，認(rèn)為我對于你們?nèi)祟悂碚f遠(yuǎn)不止是一種受贊美的蘸醬是我的錯。

看吧，你們以為我沒有看到你們之所見嗎？我令人惡心。我豎起的樣子像酸痛的拇指，一根漲紅的、搖擺的酸痛拇指。撲通一聲掉到桌子上，身上帶著罐頭盒子留下的山脊?fàn)罴y路，讓我蒙羞——你這個從商店買來的怪物，你這個高卡路里的海絲特·白蘭。……