房間

Today Im five. I was four last night going to sleep in Wardrobe， but when I wake up in Bed in the dark Im changed to five， abracadabra. Before that I was three， then two， then one， then zero. “Was I minus numbers？”

“Hmm？” Ma does a big stretch.

“Up in Heaven. Was I minus one， minus two， minus three—？”

“Nah， the numbers didnt start till you zoomed down.”

“Through Skylight. You were all sad till I happened in your tummy.”

“You said it.” Ma leans out of Bed to switch on Lamp， he makes everything light up whoosh.

I shut my eyes just in time， then open one a crack， then both.

“I cried till I didnt have any tears left，” （she tells me.）“I just lay here counting the seconds.”

“How many seconds？” （I ask her.）“Millions and millions of them.”“No， but how many exactly？”“I lost count，” （says Ma.）

“Then you wished and wished on your egg till you got fat.”

She grins. “I could feel you kicking.”

“What was I kicking？”

“Me， of course.”

I always laugh at that bit.

今天我五歲了。昨天晚上我在衣柜里睡著的時候還是四歲，而當我躺在床上在漆黑中醒來時，我五歲了。像被施了咒語一樣神奇。在這之前，我三歲、兩歲、一歲、零歲。“我負歲過嗎？”

“唔？”媽媽伸了個大大的懶腰。

“在天堂里，我是不是負一歲、負兩歲、負三歲……”

“沒，在你從天而降之前是不算歲數的。”

“劃過天窗，我掉到了你的肚子里，從此你就不再傷心了。”

“說得沒錯。”媽媽側倚在床上伸手開了燈，他總是讓所有東西嗖地亮起來。

我趕忙閉上了眼，然后睜開一條縫，再睜開一只眼睛，接著把兩只都睜開了。

“你來之前，我哭到再也流不出一滴眼淚，”（媽媽告訴我。）“我就躺在這兒數秒數。”

“數了多少秒？”（我問她。）

“成百萬上億秒。”

“不，到底有多少秒呢？”

“我數糊涂了，”（媽媽說。）

“你心里不斷祈禱著能有一個寶寶，然后你的肚子越來越大。”

她咧嘴笑了。“我可以感覺到你在踢。”

“我在踢什么呢？”

“當然是踢我啦。”

每次說到這我都會大笑。

“From the inside， boom boom.” Ma lifts her sleep T-shirt and makes her tummy jump. “I thought， Jacks on his way. First thing in the morning， you slid out onto the rug with your eyes wide open.”

I look down at Rug with her red and brown and black all zigging around each other. Theres the stain I spilled by mistake getting born. “You cutted the cord and I was free，” （I tell Ma.） “Then I turned into a boy.”

“Actually， you were a boy already.”She gets out of Bed and goes to 1）Thermostat to hot the air.

I dont think he came last night after nine， the airs always different if he came. I dont ask because she doesnt like saying about him.

“Tell me， Mr. Five， would you like your present now or after breakfast？”

“What is it， what is it？”

“I know youre excited，” （she says，） “but remember not to nibble your finger， germs could sneak in the hole.”

“To sick me like when I was three with throw-up and 2）diarrhea？”

“Even worse than that，” （says Ma，） “germs could make you die.”

“And go back to Heaven early？”

“Youre still biting it.” She pulls my hand away.“Sorry.” I sit on the bad hand. “Call me Mr. Five again.”

“So， Mr. Five，” （she says，） “now or later？”

“從里面，砰砰地響。”媽媽掀起她的T恤睡衣，讓肚子鼓起來。“我感覺到，我的杰克來了。早晨醒來第一件事，就是你從肚里滑出來到地毯上，眼睛睜得大大的。”

我低頭看著地毯，那上面紅、褐、黑三色交錯著。還有一塊我“著陸”時不小心留下的污垢。“你剪斷了繩子，我獲得了自由，”（我對媽媽說。）“然后我就變成了一個男孩。”

“實際上，當時你已經是一個男孩了。”她下床去開恒溫器讓屋里變暖和點。

我覺得昨晚九點后他沒來過，如果他來過的話，空氣會不一樣。我不問是因為媽媽不喜歡提起他。