By Joshua Ogden-Davis/肝腦涂地

現如今,面對嚴峻的就業市場,求職難,是職場新人不變的話題。我們為了謀得一職使出渾身解數,花一大堆時間和金錢買職業裝、背面試需要的“葵花寶典”……然而,讓我們始料不及的是,不同于前些年以應聘者的學歷和工作經驗為主要選拔標準,時下用人單位更提出了應聘者是否能勝任工作的新標準,如是否能通過心理、性格以及行為測試。性格測試成為聘用前第二重要的人才評估手段,僅次于技能與知識測試。這無疑給畢業生們再添負荷,因為如果測試失利則意味著求職被拒。
Mimi: Hey, Clarence!
Clarence: Oh, hi, Mimi! Its been a while. Howve you been?
Mimi: ①Hunky dory, like always! What about you?
Clarence: Its good to see that youre in good spirits. I, on the other hand, think I may have a big problem.
Mimi: Oh? Well, step into my office! ②Whats got you down?
Clarence: So, you know I just graduated, right?
Mimi: And how! I heard you were a 1)valedictorian, too?
Clarence: Not by much, but yeah.
Mimi: Well, it wont be any problem for you to get a job now! Clarence: Actually, thats exactly what Im worried about.
Mimi: What nonsense is this? Mr. “Most Likely to Succeed”is having doubts?
Clarence: And with good reason. Did you read the headline in todays paper?
Mimi: You know I dont read the news. Besides, what does the paper have to do with your job hunt?
Clarence: The story was about new hiring practices. ③The old days are gone; you cant just get good grades and then breeze into a good job anymore.
Mimi: Really? When I was looking for my first job, grades were all that mattered! Well, grades and standardized test scores.
Clarence: Thats what I thought, too! But apparently the market is flooded with good grades these days.④Companies are looking for more ways to separate the wheat from the 2)chaff.
Mimi: What kind of ways?
Clarence: The biggest way is using personality tests.
Mimi: Really? I feel so 3)gypped now.
Clarence: Why?
Mimi: My personality is so much better than my grades! If that mattered when I was looking for a job, Id be a CEO by now.
Clarence: No doubt. But you know me; Im not terribly outgoing. Im afraid I might come off as lacking in“communication skills.”
Mimi: ⑤Nah, youre getting worked up over nothing. Your communication skills are just fine. All you have to do is just express yourself clearly and be able to listen to others, and be able to control your temper.
Clarence: ⑥Thanks for the vote of confidence! But it doesnt stop there. Lots of companies now want to make sure new hires will fit into the office culture. If I dont know the office culture, how can I know if I fit in?
Mimi: True. But dont worry; if they dont hire you because they think youd end up having fights with your new coworkers, then theyre probably doing you a favor!
Clarence: I hadnt thought of that. ⑦But the last thing is what really gets me: theyre even looking at your star sign now!
Mimi: Why is that strange? Its just another way to learn about your personality.
Clarence: Wait, do you really believe in star signs?
Mimi: Of course!
Clarence: OK, then. You know me pretty well; can you guess my star sign?
Mimi: Youre definitely a Virgo.
Clarence: Nope! Im a Cancer.
Mimi: Well, then, I guess I dont believe anymore, either!
米米:嘿,克拉倫斯!
克拉倫斯:哦,嗨,米米!有段時間沒見面了。你最近怎樣?
米米:跟以往一樣,挺好的!你呢?
克拉倫斯:看到你心情不錯真好。而我,可能有一個大麻煩。
米米:噢?好吧,來我的辦公室!什么事讓你這么沮喪?
克拉倫斯:那么……你知道我剛畢業,對吧?
米米:當然知道!我聽說你還是在畢業典禮致辭的學生代表?
克拉倫斯:哪里哪里,我是走運而已。
米米:好吧,現在你找一份工作根本不是問題!
克拉倫斯:事實上,這就是我擔心的地方。
米米:這是什么胡話?“最有可能成功先生”還有疑慮?
克拉倫斯:我有充分的理由。你看今天報紙的頭條新聞了嗎?
米米:你知道我從不看新聞的。除此之外,那個新聞跟你找工作有什么關系呢?
克拉倫斯:新聞是有關新的招聘措施。過去的日子已不在,你再也不能因為成績好就輕松找到一份好工作。
米米:真的嗎?當我在找第一份工作時,成績是最重要的!好吧,應該說成績和標準考試中的得分很重要。
克拉倫斯:我原也是這樣想的!但是顯然,如今的求職市場充斥著擁有高分數的人。各公司正在尋找更多的方式來挑選人才。
米米:什么方式?
克拉倫斯:最主要的方式是采用性格測試。
米米:真的嗎?我感覺不公平。
克拉倫斯:為什么?
米米:我的性格比我的分數好多了!如果在我找工作的時候性格很重要,那么我現在都成CEO了。
克拉倫斯:這不奇怪。但是你了解我,我不是很外向,我擔心自己會因為缺乏社交能力而失敗。
米米:不會的,你的想法過激了。你的社交能力很好。你只需要清晰地表達自己、留心傾聽、控制好自己的情緒就可以了。
克拉倫斯:謝謝你對我的認可!但是這還沒結束呢。現在很多公司都想確保新的雇員能夠融入到公司文化中去。如果我不知道公司的文化,怎么知道自己能不能融入其中呢?
米米:對。但是別擔心,如果他們因為認為你會跟別的員工吵架而不用你,說不定還幫了你呢!
克拉倫斯:我還沒想過。但是最后一件事才是真正困擾我的:他們現在甚至還要看你的星座。
米米:這有什么奇怪的?這只是了解你性格的另一種手段而已。
克拉倫斯:等等,你真的相信星座嗎?米米:當然!
克拉倫斯:那好吧。你很了解我,你能猜出我的星座嗎?
米米:你一定是處女座。
克拉倫斯:不對!我是巨蟹座。
米米:好吧,那么我再也不相信星座了!
Smart Sentences
① Hunky dory, like always! What about you? 跟以往一樣,挺好的!你呢?
hunky dory: everything is fine(各事都好)。例如:—Long time no see. Howve you been lately?
好久不見了,最近怎么樣?
—Oh, hunky dory as usual.
哦,一切如常,各事都好。
② Whats got you down? 什么事讓你這么沮喪?
get sb. down: make sb. unhappy, cause low spirits(使某人不快樂、沮喪)。例如:
The low sales number last month really got Helen down.
上月不佳的銷售額確實讓海倫非常沮喪。
③ The old days are gone; you cant just get good grades and then breeze into a good job anymore. 過去的日子已不在,你再也不能因為成績好就輕松找到一份好工作。
breeze into: enter a position or condition in a very casual or relaxed manner(輕松進入某個狀態)。例如:
Mary knocked off her opponents easily and breezed into the final.
瑪麗輕松地贏了對手,輕而易舉地進入了決賽。
④ Companies are looking for more ways to separate the wheat from the chaff. 各公司正在尋找更多的方式來挑選人才。
separate the wheat from the chaff: decide which people or things in a group are good and which are not(分清良莠)。例如:
With vast selections in the tutoring market, parents have a hard time separating the wheat from the chaff.
面對補習學校的諸多選擇,家長不知道該如何分清良莠。
⑤ Nah, youre getting worked up over nothing. 不會的,你的想法過激了。
worked up: emotional, upset or excited(情緒化,生氣,或激動)。例如:
The entire team got worked up over the design award.
得了個設計獎,全組人都很興奮。
⑥ Thanks for the vote of confidence! 謝謝你對我的認可!
vote of confidence: sth. sb. says or does to show sb.s approval or support for a person or group(對某人或某組人的支持、贊同)。例如:
The contract is a vote of confidence for our performance.
這份合同是對我們成就的認可。
⑦ But the last thing is what really gets me: theyre even looking at your star sign now! 但是最后一件事才是真正困擾我的:他們現在甚至還要看你的星座。
get (to) sb.: sth./sb. annoys or irritates sb.(某事或某人影響他人的情緒,打擊某人)。例如:
Dont let the breakup get you. Lets go see a movie.
別讓分手影響你的情緒,我們去看電影吧。