誰說殘疾一無是處

Before I start this list， I would like everyone to know that I am not making fun of or minimizing the difficulties of being disabled. I am disabled， so I have freedom to talk about this. Remember， laughter makes everything easier ... except maybe eating with your mouth closed.

在開始列舉下面的內容之前，我想告訴大家，我并不是在取笑或輕視殘疾帶來的困難。我自己就有殘疾，因此可以自由地討論這個話題。記住，笑一笑，萬事易——不過你閉著嘴吃東西的時候恐怕要除外。

People are nice （in general）

Our dog got out of the back yard and knocked over a little neighborhood girl. When the mom came over to yell at us and I came to the door in my wheelchair， she blushed and started explaining that she just wanted to make sure that the dog wasn't mean and her kids didn't need to fear it ... Now， I don't recommend letting your dogs out to terrorize the neighborhood， but I do not think she would have had the same attitude if I had not been in a wheelchair.

（大體上）人人友好和善

一次我家的狗竄出后院，將鄰家的小女孩撞倒在地。小女孩的媽媽跑過來沖著我家大吼，等我坐著輪椅來到門口時，她漲紅了臉，開始辯解說她只是想確定我們家的狗不是兇狗，她的小孩不用害怕……在這里，我并不建議各位放狗出去嚇唬鄰居，但我覺得，要不是我坐著輪椅，小女孩的媽媽就不會是這樣的態度了。

You have access to some of the coolest

gadgets out there

My wheelchair is the deluxe1） model （pink flames， full tilt2）， leg lift， can bring up to eye level/counter height， etc.）， but you know what I like even more？ My grabber3）. Even if you are not disabled， you should get one of these things. It can pick up small pieces of paper， things that weigh about 3 lbs， and can reach into small cracks that your hand could never fit in. I got one for free from the therapists （best thing about breaking my hip）， but you can buy them online and probably in some stores.

能得到一些炫酷至極的東西

我擁有一架高配置的輪椅（粉色車架、可最大幅度傾斜的靠背、腿托、可調到視平線/柜臺高度的功能等），但你知道我更喜歡什么嗎？我的拾物器。就算你沒殘疾，你也應該弄一個這樣的東西。它能拾起細碎的紙片和大約三磅的重物，還能伸進人手絕對伸不進去的細縫。我的拾物器是治療師們免費給的（是我盆骨斷裂的最好的禮物），不過你可以網購到，也許還能在一些商店里買到。

You have access to some of the coolest

gadgets out there

My wheelchair is the deluxe1） model （pink flames， full tilt2）， leg lift， can bring up to eye level/counter height， etc.）， but you know what I like even more？ My grabber3）. Even if you are not disabled， you should get one of these things. It can pick up small pieces of paper， things that weigh about 3 lbs， and can reach into small cracks that your hand could never fit in. I got one for free from the therapists （best thing about breaking my hip）， but you can buy them online and probably in some stores.

Provides great writing material

If you enjoy writing， having a disability can provide some great ideas. I am working on my books The Art of Wetting Yourself， The Silence of the Hamstrings4）， I've Fallen and Can't Reach My Grabber， and a few others.endprint

獲得絕佳的寫作素材

如果你喜歡寫作，身有殘疾能給你帶來一些非凡的創意。我目前正在寫的書包括《尿濕衣服的藝術》《沉默的肌腱》《我跌倒了，夠不著拾物器》以及其他一些作品。

Life slows down

Not only can you "stop to smell the roses"， but you can also make people walking behind you uncomfortable， notice the dust all over your house， pretend you are dancing under a strobe light5） by stopping every few feet to rest and changing your pose， and other fun things.

生活會慢下來

你不僅能“停下來聞聞玫瑰的芳香”，還能讓走在你身后的人感到不舒服，你會留意到滿屋的灰塵，還可以走幾步歇一歇再換個坐姿并假裝這是在伴著頻閃燈跳舞……以及其他諸多樂事。

Little children stare at you

OK， I know it sounds like that would be a bad thing， but think of all the embarrassed parents. All the lectures going on about how kids shouldn't stare at people who are different， etc. If you added it all up， I bet you would be as well-known as movie stars. （Too bad we don't make money off people watching us.）

小孩會盯著你

好吧，我知道這聽起來像是件壞事，但想想所有那些因此而感到尷尬的家長們吧，以及所有那些關于孩子們如何如何不能盯著“特殊人群”的告誡等等。如果將這些目光加起來，我打賭你會和電影明星一樣出名（糟糕的是，我們可沒法靠人們盯著我們看來賺錢）。

You have an opportunity to reach out to6） the world

Although sometimes （especially around a certain time each month） I am sure I get as depressed/angry/suicidal as anyone else， but if I am having a good day， I like to think that maybe I made a difference in someone's life. Whether it is just by showing my kids that they can't let life's circumstances get them down or helping someone realize that there is always someone worse off than you， so suck it up7） and quit complaining. Sometimes life throws you a curve8） and you just have to do what you can and to do what you love.

你有機會幫助世界

盡管有時候（特別是每月的某個時間段）我確信我會和其他任何人一樣變得消沉/憤怒/厭世，但日子過得順心的時候，我又覺得或許我給他人的生活帶來了改變——無論僅僅是現身說法告訴我的孩子們絕不能被生活境況打倒，還是幫助人們認識到總有人比你處境還慘，所以要接受現實、不再抱怨。有時當生活讓你陷入困境時，你就不得不盡力而為，做自己喜歡的事。

1. deluxe [?d??l?ks] adj. 高級的；豪華的；奢華的

2. full tilt： 在這里指輪椅靠背傾斜度可調整到最大幅度。tilt [t?lt] n. 傾斜

3. grabber [?ɡr?b?（r）] n. 拾物器

4. hamstring [?h?mstr??] n. 繩肌腱；腿筋

5. strobe light： 頻閃燈

6. reach out to （sb.）： 幫助（某人）

7. suck it up： 接受困境；忍住艱辛

8. throw sb. a curve： 給某人設置障礙endprint