The Most Ridiculous Excuses for Skipping Work

By Susan Adams

For the last 10 years, job listing site CareerBuilder has put out a list it calls “The Most Unbelievable Excuses for Calling in Sick.”1In 2013, an employee said he couldn’t come in because his false teeth flew out the window while he was driving down the highway. Another claimed that someone had glued2. glue: v. 用膠水粘。her windows and doors shut so she couldn’t get out of her house. In 2014, the excuses include a worker who said he felt he had to stay at a casino3when he had money left after a gambling weekend. Then there was the employee who said she couldn’t come in because she had woken up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it. I like this one from a past survey: Employee said the ghost in his house kept him up all night.

Excuses were gathered through a poll that ran from Aug. 11 to Sept. 5, 2014,among 3,000 workers and 2,000 hiring managers.

The list is entertaining—one employee said she couldn’t come to work because she had just put a casserole4. casserole: 砂鍋。in the oven—but there is a more serious issue underlying this story. Federal law does not require private employers to give any paid sick leave, making the US the only one of the world’s wealthiest nations that doesn’t guarantee workers this right.5Since 2006, cities and states have been adopting their own paid sick leave laws. California, Connecticut,Washington, DC and 13 cities including New York now require many employers to provide some sort of paid sick leave. But according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, 39% of private employees still have no access to paid

1. CareerBuilder: 凱業必達招聘網，是北美最大的招聘網站運營商，也是全球訪問量最大的30家網站之一；call in sick: 請病假。

3. casino: 賭場。

5. 美國聯邦法律不允許私營企業雇主給員工帶薪病假，在世界最富有的國家中，唯獨美國員工不享有此項權利。days off. In the CareerBuilder survey, 38% of respondents6.respondent:（民意調查的）調查對象。said they go to work when they’re sick because they can’t afford to miss a day’s pay.

美國一家招聘網站盤點了2014年最離譜的請假借口，其中包括“一不小心上了一架飛機”，“把工作服放在微波爐里烘干，結果著火了”，“一覺醒來，心情倍兒棒，不想毀了好心情”……大開腦洞吧？別急，更離譜的還在后面呢！

The survey also shows that workers are taking a risk when they come up with far-fetched7. far-fetched: 牽強的，不可信的。excuses. Nearly one in five employers (18%) says they have fired an employee for calling in sick with a fake excuse. If you’re spending the day at the beach while pretending to be ill, don’t post about it on Facebook. Nearly one in four employers (24%) has caught an employee lying about being sick by checking social media.

The motto of this story: If you really are sick, don’t come to work and spread your germs around the of fice.8.原則是：如果你真的病了，就別來上班，不要把細菌傳播到辦公室里。motto: 座右銘，箴言；germ: 細菌。But if you just want to stay home, go with “I’m running a fever” rather than one of these ridiculous excuses.

1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.9. 我的整形手術需要一些“調整”來使其恰到好處。tweaking: 微調。

3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.10. gall stone: 膽結石；holistically: 全面地。

9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

10. I accidentally got on a plane.