


8 Best First Moves to
Get Your Friends
Back in Your Life
When we get super-busy, some friendships fall by the wayside. But that doesnt mean you cant revive the relationship. Even if a lot of time has elapsed, its worth saving those nurturing friends who know you deep down and whom you can confide in and call in a crisis. Wanting to rekindle a friendship isnt enough, though. You have to find a way to reconnect, which can be difficult after months or years of sporadic- or zero-contact. Here are the best first moves to make to get your friend back in your life.當我們的生活越來越忙碌,一些友情就漸漸變淡了,但那并不代表友情就此終結(jié)。即使已很久沒有聯(lián)系,也要留住那些真正和你心靈相通、關(guān)鍵時刻值得信賴、危險時刻一呼必應(yīng)的益友。然而讓友情之火重燃,光想不做可沒用。在幾個月或幾年不聯(lián)系或彼此都已疏遠的情況下,你不得不找出一個重新聯(lián)系的方法。以下的幾點小建議,可以讓你的老朋友重新回到你的生活中。
An activity that you used to do together can rev up a stalled friendship. Since that drew you together in the past, it should reignite positive memories and bring you closer again. Start by emailing your friend with a list of shared favorite activities and suggest doing one of those. Anything from going shopping to visiting that coffee shop you both love can rebuild your bond.
通過重溫曾經(jīng)一起做過的事可以很好地重塑友情。既然過往的經(jīng)歷使你們在一起,那么它也應(yīng)該會重燃你們美好的回憶,并因此讓你們變得更為親密。先給你的老朋友寫一封電子郵件,列上一串曾經(jīng)最愛一起做的事,并建議重做其中一件。無論是外出購物或是去你們都喜歡的咖啡館小坐,都可以重建你們的關(guān)系。
Reconnect over a Favorite Pastime ?找回舊日共處時光
Write Her a Facebook Message ?去對方的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)頁面上留言
Getting in touch electronically is one of the easiest ways to catch up in network time. But what do you say in that first note? Start with some information about how busy youve been and then add in details about what youve been doing. Sharing updates about your life can encourage your friend to reply with the same openness. Once youve reconnected, you may make plans to see each other in person. You cant substitute Facebook or other forms of social media for real relationships.
網(wǎng)絡(luò)時代,用電子方式聯(lián)絡(luò)是最簡單的方式之一。不過第一句你要說什么呢?先可以說說自己最近很忙,并具體說說自己到底在忙些啥。主動分享你自己的生活能鼓勵你的朋友也反饋同樣的信息。一旦你們重新聯(lián)絡(luò)上,可計劃一下約出來互相見個面。畢竟社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的交情并不能代表真正的感情。
Send a Handwritten Card ?寄張手寫卡
A note in the mail can be a welcome surprise for a friend you havent spoken to in a while. And theres no need to wait until a holiday for an excuse to send it; a “just because” card can restart your relationship anytime. Women are busy and dont want to feel that the friendship comes with too many strings attached. So avoid mentioning the past or specific dates when youre available to meet up. Instead, leave the message open-ended, explaining that youre available for lunch or drinks in the next couple of weeks. And remind her of the best way to contact you.
對許久不聯(lián)系的朋友來說,一封突如其來的信絕對是個驚喜。并且你不用等到假期才去寄它,因為一張“正因為”問候卡能隨時重新開始你們的關(guān)系。女人很忙,她們不喜歡太多附加條件的友情。因此不要在卡片里提太多過去或什么時候可以見面等具體事項,相反地,把信息留得開放些,提出自己未來幾周都有空,出來吃頓飯或者喝杯咖啡都沒問題,并順便附上自己的聯(lián)系方式。
Set a Phone Date ?找時間煲電話粥
Hearing a friends voice can be a great way to reconnect. But with hectic schedules, you may wind up playing phone tag for a while before you catch each other. Thats why its best to schedule a chat. Leave a voicemail with times youre available. It may feel weird to call out of the blue, but people understand. Once youve got your friend on the phone, be sure to set up time for another phone date or an in-person meeting.
傾聽老友的聲音會是極贊的重聯(lián)方式。不過人人都有自己的安排,在你們彼此聯(lián)系上之前電話暢聊也許需要點運氣。這就是為什么建議你先預(yù)約一次“電話聊天”的時間。留一條語音信息,告知你什么時候有空。你可能會覺得沒頭沒腦突然邀約挺奇怪的,但人們一般都能夠理解。一旦你和朋友的電話通了,趕緊約另一次煲電話粥的時間,或者面對面聊天也行。
Do Something Unexpected and Kind ?做件出其不意又充滿溫情的事
Whether its sending a handmade present or her favorite type of cookies, preparing a small surprise can go a long way in rekindling a friendship, especially with someone you once considered a good pal. This will open your friends heart to you, which will further the friendship. Just dont go overboard with a nice gesture, for instance, showing up at your buddys doorstep... Mailing something affordable is your best choice.
無論是送一件手工制作的禮物還是送對方最喜歡的點心,準備一個小小的驚喜能大大地幫助你們重燃友情之火。這招對那種曾經(jīng)是你死黨的人來講,尤其有用。它會讓你的朋友打開心扉,從而和你繼續(xù)這份友情。只是別做得太過火就行,比如,突然出現(xiàn)在你朋友的家門口之類的……寄一個不太貴重的小禮物是最好的選擇。
Throw a Dinner Party ?辦一次晚宴派對
Chances are theres more than one friend youve been meaning to catch up with, so inviting over a group can restart multiple friendships at once. Let your buddies know how much they mean to you with a gratitude dinner. Youd better invite people who all know each other, such as a few former coworkers, to simplify planning and keep the dinner conversation flowing.
有可能你想保持聯(lián)系的老友不止一個,所以不如把他們都請到家里來。舉辦一次感恩晚餐,讓你的朋友們知道他們對你來說是多么重要。最好邀請那些互相都認識的人,比如前同事之類的,這樣可以簡化準備計劃,聚餐時的談話也能滔滔不絕。
Invite Friends along to an Event ?邀請朋友一起參加活動
Have an extra ticket to a concert, party or book reading? Bringing your friend to a gathering can be more casual and less intimidating than meeting one on one. This takes the pressure off and lets both of you relax in a group environment. Rather than jumping into a serious discussion of why you drifted apart, youll be socializing with other people or enjoying some entertainment, which can make your reunion less awkward.
手頭有演唱會、派對或讀書會多余的票嗎?帶朋友去參加活動,這會比單獨相約見面要更輕松愉快。這樣能卸下你們身上的包袱,讓你們徹底放松在團體的氛圍中。與其突然跳到“當初我為什么疏遠你”之類的嚴肅話題,還不如跟大伙一起出去玩,一起享受娛樂,這能讓你們的重聚少一些尷尬的氣氛。
Try out a New Experience ?一起嘗試新經(jīng)歷
Creating fun memories together is a sure way to rekindle a friendship. Email your friend about meeting up and suggest a list of activities youve been meaning to try for your get-together, such as playing paintball, going rock climbing, taking dance lessons and going trekking. This is a great way to learn new things about your friend and find fresh commonalities to bond over.
一起制造歡樂回憶,絕對可以讓你們重燃友情之火。給你朋友寫一封電子郵件,提議一起去試試最近流行的新鮮玩意兒,比如彩彈實戰(zhàn)、攀巖、舞蹈課、負重徒步。這是一個了解你朋友新的一面,并讓你們再度找到相通之處的極好方法。