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2015-04-29 00:00:00
瘋狂英語·口語版 2015年8期

Carlos: (sadly) Morning Tony.

Tony: Cheer up.

Carlos: (1)grunts)

Tony: I thought Brazilians were supposed to be always happy.

Carlos: I’m not a typical Brazilian!

Tony: Here—drink this. It should cheer you up.

Carlos: Thanks Tony.

(door’s open)

Fadi: Hi Carlos!

Carlos: (2)glumly) Hi Fadi.

Fadi: What’s up?

Carlos: Oh, I only had two customers in the restaurant last night.

Fadi: Only two? That’s not much good.

Carlos: I know…

Fadi: But hang on a minute—was one of them the restaurant critic?

Carlos: That’s just it—I thought he was.

Fadi: Why?

Carlos: Well, I knew a critic was coming, and he was going to write a review…

Fadi: Yeah, I remember.

Carlos: So two men come in to the restaurant, and they’re both wearing suits.

Fadi: Suits?

Carlos: Yeah—they look really serious, really professional.

Fadi: I see.

Carlos: And they look at the menu for ages, and one of them takes out a notebook and starts writing things.

Fadi: So you thought he was a critic?

Carlos: Of course! So I gave them extra special treatment—a free dessert and everything.

Fadi: Great.

Carlos: And then when they’d finished their meal, I said, ‘So, when is the review coming out?’

Fadi: And?

Carlos: And the man said, ‘What review? I don’t know what you’re talking about!?

Fadi: Oh no.

Carlos: It turns out they were just having a business meeting, not writing the review of my restaurant after all.

Fadi: Oh dear. Oh, never mind.

(door’s open)

Fadi/Carlos: Hi Olivia!

Olivia: Hello boys. What’s up with you two?

Fadi: Carlos thought he had that restaurant reviewer in…

Olivia: Great!

Carlos: No. Not great—it turned out he wasn’t a reviewer at all.

Olivia: Oh dear. Never mind.

Carlos: And he was one of only two customers last night.

Olivia: Well, you’ve only just opened. I’m sure business will get better.

Carlos: I hope so.

Fadi: (ironically) So, Olivia, how was your date the other night?

Olivia: (sighs) It wasn’t a date! I just went out with a friend, that’s all.

Fadi: Just a friend, huh?

Olivia: Exactly. And he’s a really nice guy, actually.

Fadi: Great. Good for you. I’m really pleased for you. Honestly.

Olivia: You don’t sound it.

Fadi: Oh, really, I am. I mean, I’ve got a date of my own this evening.

Olivia: Have you?

Fadi: Oh yeah—you know me—lots of girls!

Olivia: Yeah. Right.

Fadi: She’s ‘just a friend’ though…(laughs)

Olivia: Fine. Great. Good for you. Well, I’ve got to go and meet Harry and Bindyu—have a chat about their wedding.

Carlos: Oh…that wedding—it’s all they ever talk about these days.

Olivia: Bye!

Fadi/Carlos: Bye!

(door’s closed)

Carlos: So, who’s your date then Fadi? Who’s the lucky girl tonight?

Fadi: Eh?

Carlos: Your date...the girl you said you were going out with tonight.

Fadi: Oh…erm…no one.

Carlos: No one?

Fadi: Yeah. No one. I haven’t got a date tonight. I haven’t got a girlfriend.

Carlos: So, why did you tell Olivia you had a date?

Fadi: I don’t know. I just don’t want her to think…

Carlos: Think what?

Fadi: I don’t know. That I’m, like, a loser or something.

Carlos: Why do you worry what she thinks?

Fadi: Well, you see, I…I…

Carlos: You what?

Fadi: Oh! Here they come!

Carlos: What?

(door’s open)

Olivia: Hi all! I’m back again!

Fadi: So I see!

Carlos: And Harry and Bindyu. Hi there!

Harry/Bindyu: Hi!

Fadi: So, have you solved their problems, Olivia?

Olivia: Oh yes I have! If there’s one thing I can do well, it’s solve other people’s problems!

Fadi: (3)aside) And stick your nose into other people’s business!

Olivia: What was that Fadi?

Fadi: Oh, nothing.

Carlos: So, uh, what’s the solution?

Bindyu: Well, you know my family want to have a big traditional Indian wedding.

Carlos: Yeah.

Bindyu: It turns out Harry wasn’t really keen on that.

Harry: I just wanted to do something quiet, small, just a few friends.

Olivia: I made them do something very important!

Fadi: Which was?

Olivia: Talk to each other!! Always important!

Fadi: Yeah.

Carlos: And so?

Olivia: Well, I came up with a perfect suggestion.

Bindyu: Actually, I think it was my idea.

Olivia: (surprised) Oh, was it?

Bindyu: I think so, well, whatever…here’s the decision: we’re going to do both!

Carlos: Both?

Fadi: How do you mean?

Olivia: Two weddings!

Tony: (sighing) One is quite enough for most people.

Bindyu: Yes, two weddings. We’re going to have a big traditional ceremony with my family, and then another ceremony and a party with all our friends! That’s you lot!

Fadi: That sounds like a good idea!

Harry: I can’t believe I didn’t think of it!

Fadi: I can.

Olivia: And best of all—it gives me an excuse to buy two new dresses!

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