他哼著歌離世

2

提到對死亡的態度，人們總會想起安樂死。如果說美國人查克·萊金制作的棺材家具是對他人進行的一種死亡教育，那安樂死則是一些人身體力行地實踐自己對生死的看法。英國作家普拉切特爵士（Terry Pratchett）和BBC合作，制作了紀錄片《特里·普拉切特：選擇死亡》（Terry Pratchett： Choosing to Die），該片講述了他對死亡的看法。

In Belgium， assisted death has been legal since 2002. I’m going today to see the widow of Hugo Claus， a very popular author in Belgium. He chose an assisted death. He had 1）Alzheimer’s.

Veerla Claus-De Wit： At a certain moment， my…my husband realised that there was something going wrong. In the beginning， he just tried to hide it...

Terry Pratchett： Yes.

Veerla： …and I saw it， but I， I pretended that I didn’t.

Terry： You start making all the little excuses， don’t you？

Veerla： Yes， of course， of course.

Terry： You say， “Everybody loses the car keys...”

Veerla： Yes， yes.

Terry： ...but you realize this， that not everybody loses the car.

Veerla： Mm-hm.

Terry： What was it that gave him the clue that something was wrong？

Veerla： He started to mix up words. And since words were his core business， and that frightened him. And then I remember he said to me， “If I have Alzheimer， I will not go on living till the bitter end. I will put an end to myself.” But he， he wanted to write another book. He said， “When I finish the book， I take the decision and I will die， but I first have to finish the book.”

Terry： If you’re working on a book， you’ll keep going.

Veerla： But he couldn’t finish the book. He， he had not the skill any more.

Terry： Were you with him when he died？

Veerla： Yes. We went to the hospital. And I remember I brought a very good bottle of champagne with me and I even brought some cigarettes， and it’s not allowed to smoke， but I thought maybe he wants have a last cigarette. And when his cigarette was finished， and we stopped talking， he said， “I think now I want to lie down.” I lie， laid myself next to him and I hold him. And I sang a song for him， and he started singing with me and...he died singing. Yes.

I often think of that moment， of course， and it makes me sad， but， in a way， I was glad for my husband. Of course， it was terrible， because I miss him. It was so 2）intense and so warm. And how can people be against it？ I don’t understand.

Terry： Quite.

從2002年起，安樂死在比利時就已經合法化。我今天要去見雨果·克勞斯的遺孀，雨果·克勞斯是比利時的知名作家，他選擇了安樂死，因為他患有阿爾茨海默癥。

維爾拉·克勞斯-德維特：我丈夫突然間察覺到事情不太對勁。而剛開始的時候，他試圖隱瞞……

特里·普拉切特：嗯。

維爾拉：……我看到了，但我……我假裝沒看到。

特里：你會開始編一些小借口，對不對？

維爾拉：是的。當然，當然。

特里：你會說“誰都會弄丟車鑰匙……”

維爾拉：沒錯，是這樣。

特里：……但你意識到不是每個人都會把車也弄丟了。

維爾拉：嗯。

特里：究竟是有什么蛛絲馬跡讓他感覺事情不太對勁的呢？

維爾拉：他講話開始顛三倒四。因為他是靠文字吃飯的，這下可把他嚇壞了。我記得他對我說：“如果我患了阿爾茨海默癥，我不想一直活到那個悲慘的結局。我要自我了斷。”但他……他還想再寫一本書。他說：“等我寫完這本書，我就會做個決定，去死，但我要先完成這本書。”

特里：如果你在寫一本書，你就想繼續寫下去。

維爾拉：但他寫不完那本書了，他……他已經喪失了寫作的能力。

特里：他死時你在他身邊嗎？

維爾拉：是的，我們是一起去的醫院。我記得我帶了一瓶上乘的香檳，甚至還帶了幾根煙。