辦公桌心理

Desk Psychology

Diane： Geez！ It looks like a bomb went off over here. What on earth happened to your desk， Melvin？

Melvin： It’s all part of my process.

Diane： Unless part of your process is spending half an hour trying to find something under this giant heap of paperwork and 1）knick-knacks， I think you’re only making it harder on yourself.

Melvin： ①Well， as it so happens， I actually enjoy being buried under a mountain of 2）clutter.

Diane： That makes sense. ②You know， the appearance of one’s desk can speak volumes about their personality.

Melvin： Is that so？ Then， what does my desk say about me？ What kind of person has a desk like this？

Diane： The kind of person who lives in a state of disorganized chaos， such as yourself， shows that you’re unable to 3）delegate， and that you can’t say no or keep up with the work.

Melvin： I wish I could argue with you， but you pretty much hit the nail right on the head. So how about Sandy over there， with her beautifully decorated desk of wonders？

Diane： Oh， her desk 4）reeks of success. See all those postcards from trendy international destinations， that impossible-to-get invite to the mayor’s estate， and that strategically positioned 5）pole-vaulting 6）trophy？ According to the world of Desk Psychology， this girl means business. And she’s certainly got a comfortable spot， sitting atop the office food chain.

Melvin： Wow！ I had no idea how revealing a person’s desk could be.

Diane： ③You don’t know the half of it. Let me give you the rundown； Gilbert over there has a very neutral looking desk， not too bland with a potted plant and framed snapshot of his beloved Labrador. This tells us he’s just a regular guy under that professional exterior.

Melvin： How about Sammy？ His desk looks like a wild forest of 7）foliage and family photos.

Diane： He’s obviously an 8）extrovert， and his desk is usually abuzz with conversation.

Melvin： OK. Then tell me about Theresa. Her desk always seems a bit too personalized for my taste.

Diane： I know what you mean. She’s got open bottles of nail polish remover， mouthwash， vitamins and stuffed animals， all of which give people the impression that she cares far more about her self-image than her job.

Melvin： Man， you are good！ But I’ve got one more for ya. The only other person whose desk is almost as messy as mine is Karen. Does she have an 9）undependable vibe just like me？

Diane： Sorry to break it to you， but while your desk 10）epitomizes disorganized chaos， Karen’s desk would be more flatteringly categorized as creatively chaotic. Note that upon closer examination， her clutter points to a wide variety of cultural interests and mental agility.

Melvin： So， I guess it’s time I start fresh and clean up this messy desk of mine， huh？

Diane： It couldn’t hurt…

戴安：天啊！這里看起來像是被炸彈炸過一樣。你的辦公桌發生什么事了，梅爾文？

梅爾文：這是我工作過程的一部分。

戴安：除非你的工作過程是花半小時在這堆積如山的文件和小擺設里企圖尋找什么東西，否則我覺得你只是在自找苦吃。

梅爾文：呃，可事實是，我確實很享受被埋在山般高的凌亂雜物中。

戴安：有點道理。你知道，一個人的辦公桌的外觀情況充分反映了他的個性。

梅爾文：是嗎？那我的辦公桌說明了我什么？什么樣的人會有這樣的桌子？

戴安：說明了那種生活在雜亂無章狀態中的人，比如你自己，承擔太多工作任務，卻不能分配給他人，所以無法跟上工作的進度。

梅爾文：我希望我能反駁你，但你說得太正確了。那坐在那邊的桑迪怎樣？她的辦公桌裝飾著漂亮的名勝古跡。

戴安：哦，她的辦公桌散發著成功的氣息。看到所有那些來自國際潮流目的地的明信片，那參觀市長莊園的不可能得到的邀請函，那具有戰略定位的撐竿跳高獎杯了嗎？根據世界辦公桌心理，這個女孩意味著對事業的追求。她當然已經得到了一個舒服的位置，位于辦公室食物鏈的頂層。

梅爾文：哇！我不知道一個人的辦公桌能有這樣的啟示作用。

戴安：你知之甚少。我給你簡要分析下吧，那邊的吉爾伯特有一張非常中性的辦公桌，點綴著盆栽植物不會太乏味，還有他鐘愛的拉布拉多犬的帶框快照。這些告訴我們在職業的外表下，他就是個靠譜的人。

梅爾文：薩米怎么樣？他的桌面看似荒野叢林，擺滿綠葉植物和家庭照片。

戴安：他很明顯是個外向的人，人們通常會聚集在他的桌子旁談話。

梅爾文：好吧。接下來告訴我有關特雷莎的吧。按照我的品位，她的辦公桌似乎總是太個性化了。

戴安：我明白你的意思。她有各種已經開封的瓶瓶罐罐，里面裝著指甲油清洗劑、漱口水、維生素，還有各種毛絨動物玩具，所有這些給人的印象就是，她關注自己的外在形象多于工作。

梅爾文：老兄，你真厲害！但我還有一個人要問你。唯一一個桌面幾乎跟我一樣亂七八糟的人是凱倫。她會跟我一樣有不可靠的特質嗎？

戴安：很抱歉地告訴你，你的桌面集中體現了無秩序的雜亂，而凱倫的桌面更多會被歸類為討人喜歡的有創意的凌亂。更進一步觀察，你會注意到，她的凌亂體現了多種多樣的人文景觀和精神敏銳性。

梅爾文：那么，我想是時候我要從新開始，收拾干凈我這張凌亂不堪的辦公桌了，對嗎？

戴安：那不會有壞處的……

Smart Sentences

① Well， as it so happens， I actually enjoy being buried under a mountain of clutter.

呃，可事實是，我確實很享受被埋在山般高的凌亂雜物中。

as it so happens： used to introduce an unlikely fact， same as“as a matter of fact”（用于引入一個不平常的事實，等同于“as a matter of fact”）。例如：

—Who would think George would resign after working here for 10 years.

誰能想到喬治在干了十年后居然辭職了。

—As it so happens， I heard Sandy from Personnel quit last week—she’s been here for 20 years.

可事實是，我聽說人事部的桑迪上周辭職了，她已經在這兒干了二十年。

② You know， the appearance of one’s desk can speak volumes about their personality.

你知道，一個人的辦公桌的外觀情況充分反映了他的個性。

speak volumes about： reveal a great deal of information about sth.（充分證明，清楚地表明）。例如：

The books we read speak volumes about our attitudes towards life.

我們看的書可以清楚表明我們的生活態度。

③ You don’t know the half of it.

你知之甚少。

You don’t know the half of it： things are far more complicated than you think（知道得很少，一知半解）。例如：

You don’t know the half of it. The company has been doing business with China for over 30 years and it wouldn’t make a simple mistake like this.

你知之甚少，這家公司與中國做了三十多年的生意，不會犯這么低級的錯誤。