I think walk①to school is good for us.At first,walking to school is a good way to exercise and it’s good to②health.Next,it’s fun to walk together with friends every day.We can talk about interesting something③and know each other better.What’s more,if we go to school on foot,our parents won’t have to drive us to school.They will have more time to work and relax.More walking and less driving can help make our city much clean④.The streets will be less crowded than before.So I hope more and more students will go to school on foot.
Let’s go to school on foot from now on.
安徽省濉溪縣四鋪中心學校七(3)班 胡月琪
本文觀點明確,信息全面,立場鮮明。對“步行去上學”的優點進行了詳細的闡述,最后提出自己的希望。本文使用了at first,next,what’s more等使得文章層次分明,結構清晰。而if引導的條件狀語從句,使文章句式豐富,富有多樣化。另外,短語的使用體現了作者不凡的語言功底。
①walk改為walking。動詞不能做主語,但是動名詞可以做主語,故walk改為walking;
② to改為for。be good to意為“對某人好”,故此處應用be good for;
③ interesting something改為 something interesting。當形容詞修飾 something,anything,nothing,everything等不定代詞時,形容詞必須放在不定代詞的后面;
④clean改為cleaner。much修飾形容詞或副詞的比較級,故此處應將clean改為cleaner。
按中考英語作文滿分20分的標準,本文修改前可得18分。