A Proverbial Life in China

by+Liz+Ruetsch

If I were to pick one item that bonds me to China， it is the book Chinese Proverbs and Popular Sayings – with Observations on Culture and Language by Qin Xue Herzberg and Larry Herzberg.

This book contains over 500 proverbs that are often used by common people in China， and they are in fact the heart of this great country. The reason I am so fond of this book is that almost every day in China， one of my team members shares a Chinese proverb with me to help me understand various situations. In a way， the proverbs themselves embody the “indirect” communication style which is quite common in China， and they helped link me to a civilization with a history of over 5，000 years.

I was fortunate that my local team integrated me and considered me a part of their family. This was evidenced by many team outings we did as a group for either lunches， evenings， or even weekends. I feel that this happened because during my stay in China， I spent a lot of time trying to teach them various things to help them grow. My favorite proverb in this realm is： “Giving a child a thousand pieces of gold is not as good as giving him a skill.” My team in China was very talented and open to learning new ideas， and my challenge was to create a “low risk” environment in which each of them could develop at their own pace. For me， it meant I made a deep connection with each of them， and one that will last a lifetime.

During my time in China， I learned at least 20 new things each and every day. My rate of learning was incredible， and the stimulation can sometimes be overwhelming for a Westerner. Another of my favorite proverbs is： “There is no end of books to read， just as there is no end of roads to travel.” I was based in Beijing， but was fortunate to be able to travel to many cities in China including Shanghai， Shenzhen， Guangzhou， Chengdu， Suzhou， Hangzhou， Xian， Tianjin， and Dalian， as well as Inner Mongolia， Hong Kong and Taiwan. I had traveled to China 14 times in the 10 years before I moved there， but I did not truly understand the local cultural differences between the North （Beijing）， East （Shanghai）， West（Chengdu）， and South （Shenzhen） until I lived there. Many times people in the U.S. think of China as one place that is all the same. And conversely most people in China view the U.S. as all the same as well – whereas in fact the East （Boston） and West （Los Angeles） are very， very different sub-cultures in the same country.

This local “diversity” in China really opened my eyes and remains one of the things I cherish most about my time living there. My favorite imagery for this concept is the Great Wall – It stretches more than 8，800 kilometers across northern China， but also has many different areas. I was fortunate enough to explore several sections including Simatai， Mutianyu， and Badaling， but the wild sections of Jinshanling and Jiankou were actually my favorite. To see how the wall handles its many twists and turns always reminds me of “direct” and“indirect” paths in China.

My hometown is actually Boston， in the northeastern part of the U.S.A. Culturally， we are known for being very direct and short in our communication style. One reason I wanted to live in China was to significantly improve my indirect communication style. In China， I learned that truly immersing yourself in a different culture is a great way to learn. It was not just the words that I absorbed， but the balance of speaking vs. listening. My favorite proverb related to this is： “People have a face， just like a tree has bark.” One often hears about the concept of “face” when they study China， and it is in fact a complex topic. Ultimately， I learned that all people care about “face”， and it remains a delicate matter in both the East and the West.

At the end of my time in China， I actually drew the same conclusion as the authors of my book of proverbs. It can best be summarized by a proverb from Confucius： “Within the four seas， all men are brothers.” Whether we live in China or the West， we all care deeply about things such as family and friends， as well as further developing ourselves through learning， patience， perseverance， and humility.