How to stay away from old friends

章小玲

We all have that one or two friends who are not really our friends. We just stand them because for whatever reason， we dont have the heart to let them go. Maybe we dont want to hurt them. Maybe theyre lonely. Maybe were lonely. In the end， the reason really doesnt matter. What does matter is that were wasting our energy on an undeveloped friendship and the other person is being horribly misled （誤導）. Its not really fair on either end， is it？ Although its easier said than done， there are some ways to end the friendship without too many hurt feelings.

1. Be honest... just not too honest （誠實但不要過于誠實）

Put yourself in your friends position. Just like in a romantic relationship， wouldnt you want to be told that your friendship is going nowhere？ Its probably nicer to just say that your interests arent the same. This doesnt mean you two should avoid each other or anything！ It just means that maybe you two just arent meant to be friends anymore.

2. Stop the social media （停止社交媒體關注）

Stop liking all his/her photos and saying a few words on anything. Did he/she write a crazy text post on Tumblr（微博客）？ It probably doesnt need an answer from you any more. Your lives are away from her/him now， so the social media thing can be put to rest. Although this probably goes without saying， a birthday post is totally a little more to the “used to be friends but not really anymore” boundary （界限）.

3. Avoid deep talks （避免深談）

Okay， it happens. Sometimes youre with a huge group of friends and someone asks a heavy question like， “What happens when you die？” Then， before you know it， its three in the morning. These kinds of talks push people together， but remember that its separation（分手） that youre aiming for—not bonding（增強信任關系）.

4. Dont feel sad and sorry （不要難過、不用道歉）

Its easy to feel like youre giving up someone when you end a friendship， but think of it more like giving yourself（and him/her！） room. Remember that this isnt a decision you made lightly and to always meet your needs. In the end， this is what is best for everyone. You dont have to keep an unhappy friendship alive， and he/she doesnt need to stay in one.

5. Learn from it （學會放棄）

The most common reason for ending a friendship is growing up. If it was simply outgrowing（因長大成熟而放棄） the friendship， feel proud of yourself for growing up and moving to a new stage in your life. This has nothing to do with the other person because staying the same isnt good！ Its just also important to recognize that change is not bad as well.