害怕被吐槽？那就別再吐槽別人了

文/Karen Ann Kennedy 繪/花步

害怕被吐槽？那就別再吐槽別人了

Stop Judging Anyone Else

文/Karen Ann Kennedy 繪/花步

About a month ago， I thought I would try to go a whole day without judging anyone else I encountered. Have any of you ever tried it？ It's incredibly①incredibly英 ［?n'kred?bl?］ 美 ［?n'kr?d?bli］ adv. 難以置信地；非常地hard.

There was the woman walking down the street blowing cigarette smoke in her kid's face； the guy at the beach wearing his bright yellow banana hammock②hammock 英 ［'h?m?k］ 美 ［'h?m?k］ n. 吊床；吊鋪；吊帶 vt. 睡吊床； and the woman at the grocery store with 30 items in the 15-items-orless line.

My challenge of going a whole day without judging actually turned into an exercise that said less about the people around me and more about myself； it caused me to start examining myself.

I wonder if sometimes we fear the way others respond to us because the way they treat us is a mirror of the way we ourselves behave. Maybe that's why we notice certain attributes③attribute英 ［?'tr?bju?t］ 美 ［?'tr?bjut］ n. 屬性；特質 vt. 歸屬；把……歸于in others， and maybe that's why those attributes can get under our skin. Perhaps it's because deep down we identify with these behaviors that rub④rub 英 ［r?b］ 美 ［r?b］ vt. 擦；摩擦；惹怒 vi. 擦；摩擦；擦破 n. 摩擦；障礙；磨損處us the wrong way.

D u r i n g my day of no judgment， I tried hard to focus my thoughts inward， so as not to be tempted to judge. And while I was taking a good hard look at myself， I realized that my fear of being judged came from my own tendency to judge.

"Look at her shoes； I can't believe she wore that dress； check out that guy's hair." Maybe it's just human nature to do this， but once I became conscious of the habit， I realized how often I do it， which brought up the milliondollar question： "Who am I to judge？" No one， that's who!

大約一個月前的一天，我突然想要嘗試堅持一天不去評判任何人。有人試過這么做嗎？真的很難。

一位女士在街上走著，噴了一口煙在她孩子的臉上；沙灘上，一位男子躺在香蕉形大吊床上；雜貨店的某個女人帶著三十多件商品卻跑去“15件以下”的隊伍結賬……

堅持一天不去評判別人，這項挑戰到后來更像是一種練習，鍛煉我少說閑話，多關注自己。它讓我開始審視我自己。

我很好奇，是不是有時我們害怕別人對待自己的態度是因為這恰好映射出了我們的行為。也許，這也是為什么我們會對別人身上某些特質特別敏感、特別抓狂。

在沒有了評判的一整天中，我試著關注自己的內心，這樣就不會有對人指手畫腳的想法了。然而當我好好反省自己的時候，我認識到，我對外界評判的恐懼竟然來源于自己評判別人的習慣。

“看她那雙鞋啊！”“這種裙子她也敢穿出來？”“看那男人的發型。”也許這些都是人之本性，而一旦我注意到這一習慣，就會發現它有多頻繁。接著關鍵問題就來了：“我有什么資格去評判？”答案就是：沒有！