一個中國高中畢業生的自白

文/Eric Mu 譯/龍天麟 繪/七空

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一個中國高中畢業生的自白

文/Eric Mu 譯/龍天麟 繪/七空

When I was a kid， university graduates were as rare as unicorns， now they are more like popcorn：cheap and plentiful.

I have to say that high school is a monastery①monastery 英 ［'m?n?st（?）r?］ 美 ［'mɑn?st?ri］ n. 修道院；僧侶He has cloistered himself in a monastery for more than thirty years. 他隱居于修道院中已三十余年。and an army boot camp combined. Eleven classes every day. We had to rise before dawn and went to bed after 11. After the last class， we were encouraged to use any bit of extra time for study. There was one student who would go to read his lessons every night in the toilet， because that was the only place where the light would be kept on 24 hours. Everyone hatedhim， because his breach of a delicate equilibrium②equilibrium 英 ［,i?kw?'l?br??m; ,ekw?-］ 美 ［,ikw?'l?br??m］ n. 均衡；平靜；保持平衡的能力But we know thermodynamics is all about equilibrium. 但我們知道熱力學都是關于平衡的。that is vital for us to live in peace with each other -he just studied too hard. The school encouraged③encourage 英 ［?n'k?r?d?; en-］ 美 ［?n'k?r?d?］ vt. 鼓勵，慫恿；激勵；支持Economic policy is liberalized to encourage initiatives in production. 放寬經濟政策以鼓勵生產的積極性。us to be frugal with our time. It had a slogan hanging from the main building："Time is like water in sponge，if you squeeze harder， there is always more."

Even though you can always squeeze， even God may need to take a day off every week. For high school students， it was every four weeks. The day was meant for us to go home to pick up some spare clothes and money to sustain us for the next four weeks. But it also offered a rare chance of leisure. One day， think about it， ten hours of freedom，plus undisrupted sleep. How wonderful！ I always anticipated the day so much that I kept planning and planning： Going to the bookstore to read the history book that I hadn't finished？ Going to the noodle place in the market to have noodles with lamb soup？ When the day eventually came， not a single second passed without causing great anxiety in me like a stingy④stingy 英 ［'st?n（d）??］ 美 ［'st?nd?i］ adj. 吝嗇的，小氣的；有刺的；缺乏的If she has a spending problem， then you need to work on it together， and if you'retoo stingy with your money and you never have fun with it， then you also to work on that and loosen up.如果她有愛花錢的毛病，那么你們應該共同解決這個問題，如果你在錢方面過于小氣，你就永遠也享受不到花錢的樂趣，你依然會致力于此并且放松下來。man counting every penny that he has to shell out.

Teachers are a mixture of army training sergeants and Amway salesmen. The former abuses， the latter promises. A teacher is not only expected to teach， he also needs to motivate⑤motivate 英 ［'m??t?ve?t］ 美 ［'mot?'vet］ vt. 刺激；使有動機；激發……的積極性To do that， you need to motivate them， listen to them， connect with them， andsupport them when they need i.要做到這一點，你需要激勵他們，傾聽他們的心聲，保持聯絡，并且在他們有需要時支持他們。. Some male teachers were very good at that， capable of evoking the deepest sense of shame in their subjects that even a Freudian would admire.

Three years of running this strenuous marathon. The inevitable climax was more of an anticlimax. The test didn't turn out to be as I had imagined⑥imagine 英 ［?'m?d??n］ 美 ［?'m?d??n］ vt. 想像；猜想；臆斷 vi. 想像；猜想；想像起來One can imagine how regretful he was. 可以想像他是多么懊悔。it - a grand battle. I had been seeing myself on stage， with a war bugle blowing and bullets whizzing by and here I was， a soldier crouching in his trench and ready for a bayonet charge， to take my fate by its throat. The reality was much duller though. A room packed with 40 students huddling⑦huddle 英［'h?d（?）l］ 美 ［'h?dl］ vt. 把……擠在一起；使縮成一團；草率了事vi. 蜷縮；擠作一團 n. 擁擠；混亂；雜亂一團The Emperors huddle together to protect themselves from the extreme cold ofAntarctica.帝企鵝們互相擁擠在一起來預防南極洲極度的寒冷。in front of their small desks，under the scrutiny of a surveillance cam and two chatty supervisors. We were no warriors but prisoners. If we were fighting for anything， it was just for our own survival.

當我還是小孩子時候，大學畢業生像獨角獸般的珍貴，現在他們卻像爆米花一樣：便宜并且量多。

我只想說高中就是一座寺院和一個新兵訓練營的合體。每天有十一節課。我們必須早起然后晚上11點才離開。在最后一節課后，我們又都被鼓勵抓緊每一點空閑時間學習。有個同學他每晚會去廁所讀書。然而每個人都討厭他，因為這破壞了這種微妙的平衡，對我們和平相處至關重要——他學習有些太努力了。學校鼓勵我們要節約時間。在我們主大樓上面掛著一個口號：“時間就像海綿中的水，只要你擠，總是有的。”

雖然你能一直擠，但就是老天爺也需要每周休息一天的。對于高中同學們，只有四個星期才有一天。這一天是讓我們回家拿些衣服和錢來繼續維持我們接下來的四個星期。但是它也提供了一絲放松的機會。一天，想一下，十個小時的自由，加上沒人打擾的睡覺。多么美妙啊！我總是期盼著這一天，然后不停地計劃著：去書店看看我沒看完的歷史類的書？去市場賣面的地方吃碗羊湯面？當這天真的到來時，我開心的過著每一秒，就像個吝嗇鬼數著花出去的每一分錢。

老師就是軍隊訓練官和安利銷售人的結合體。前者虐待我們，后者許諾我們。老師不僅要教人，他也需要去激勵人。有些男老師就很擅長這個，能在他們的課程中喚起我們內心最深處的愧疚之心，就連弗洛伊德都會欽佩他們的。

緊張的馬拉松式長跑的三年。本以為最后到來的時刻會是高潮更多的卻是失落。考試沒有像我想象的那樣——宏偉的戰斗。我曾覺得自己是這樣的，當軍號響起，子彈就在耳旁飛過，而我就在那里，作為一個士兵蜷伏在戰壕中并準備用刺刀沖鋒，去扼住命運之喉。然而現實卻更枯燥。一個屋子40個學生在他們的小桌子上縮成一團，在攝像頭的監視之下，兩個監考官閑聊著。我們不是戰士只是囚犯而已。如果我們是在為什么而戰斗，我想只是為了我們生存吧。

Confessions of a Chinese High School Student