【欄目要求】
1. 將學生習作根據中考分值給出成績; 2. 在應該修改的地方劃線并標注序號;
3. 根據所標序號進行修改并說明修改的理由; 4. 給學生習作點評<優點與不足>;
5. 請點評名師提供簡歷一份,包括:學校、職務、 職稱、榮譽、教研教學成果、照片一張。
投稿郵箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
來稿請寄: 430079 華中師范大學外國語學院《中學生英語》 雜志社 收
本 期 點 評 名 師
于瑩 1992年畢業于山東師范大學,中學高級教師,梁山縣優秀教師,市級優質課一等獎,一直擔任初中英語的教學工作,連續多年在中考中取得優異成績。2012年12月在山東省英語競賽中榮獲優秀指導教師稱號。先后在《中學生英語》、《山東教育導報》、《現代中學生》、《初中生英語學習》、《英語輔導報》、《英語周報》、《學生導報》、《新課堂》等國家級、省級報刊上發表教學論文三十多篇。
My Mother
My mother is a doctor. She is a 41-years-old① woman. She a good mother. I love her very much.
One morning, my mother was back from the hospital. She came to my bedroom and said, “Look for② your bedroom, dear. It is too dirty. You must clean it right now.” “Oh, Mum, but I cleaned it yesterday.” I said. “Its dirty now. You must clean it again,” said my mother. “No. I dont want to clean it today. If I clean it today, it will be dirty again tomorrow,” I said. Mother thought for a moment and said, “All right, dont clean it.”
In the evening, I was back from school. I was very hungry, so I said to my mother, “Give me something for③ eat, Mum.” “You had your breakfast in the morning. And you had lunch at school,” said my mother. “But Im hungry now,” said I. “Hungry? But if I give you something to eat today, you will be hungry again tomorrow.” Then I understood what my mother meant. So I cleaned my bedroom by myself. Mum was happy and said, “Thats very good.”
How④ a good mother she is!
山東省梁山縣楊營中學初一 李華
1. 優點:
本文構思巧妙,小作者的媽媽將計就計,用事實來曉之以理,說服小作者要從小養成打掃衛生的好習慣。文章句式富于變化,表意清楚,有條有理,是一篇值得推薦的學生習作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① 41-years-old改為41-year-old。“年齡-year-old”表示“幾歲的”;
② for改為at。look for意思是“尋找”,look at意思為“看一下”;
③ for改為to。此處不定式做定語;
④ How改為What。how引導的感嘆句:how +形容詞+主語+謂語或how +副詞+主語+謂語;what引導的感嘆句:what +(a/ an)+形容詞+主語+謂語。
3. 評分:
按中考英語作文滿分15分的評分標準,本文修改前可得12分。