Daddy’s Darlings

By Zhang Guoli

Daddy’s Darlings

By Zhang Guoli

These two brave girls have proven to their father that they love him and cannot be without him.

I have a friend named Haozi,who is a veteran on-air personality in Taiwan.He and I both suffer from asthma and have exchanged opinions on inhaler brands.

I ran into Haozi towards the end of last year at a wedding of a friend’s daughter.He didn’t look well.I probed into his health status among our circle of mutual friends and finally asked him directly,demanding to know the answer.He finally confessed that he had liver problems.He had visited two hospitals and it was suggested that he have a liver transplant.

I found out from two friends who have had such a surgery that it was a very painful procedure and it is extremely difficult to get a matching liver.At least it would not be possible within Taiwan.Friends were keen to help him though,offering suggestions and financial support.

Haozi was quite depressed during that time and had been sent to the hospital several times in a stupor for emergency rescue due to liver failure.Then his brother died of liver cancer.Apparently,liver problems run in the family.He had to organize his brother’s funeral and after that,come to grips with his own destiny.

I couldn’t help asking him,“Haozi,have you found a matching liver?”

What worried Haozi was not what worried the typical patient. The question was not whether he could find a matching liver,but whether he should accept the liver.

Haozi has two loving daughters. The elder was to graduate from college this year and the younger was in her sophomore year.It seemed to me that the single father was much loved.I visited him at home before the surgery and was impressed by how the two daughters comforted their father and prepared him for the surgery.

I asked the sensitive question again of who would supply the liver. Haozi replied slowly,“My daughters.”They both wanted to be the donor.

But the doctor’s advice was to take time and run tests to determine which liver was the better fit.The younger daughter was calm about donating the liver but had never hid her algophobia.From childhood she was afraid of shots,yet she insisted on donating.

The results finally came.The younger daughter’s liver fits better. The elder one went to see the doctor in private and asked for her liver to be taken because her sister was so terror-stricken by pain.However, the doctor would only choose from the facts at hand.

The time for the surgery came. The father and the daughter were checked in and it all went very well. Haozi moved out of the special care units last week and has begun to make casual conversations and go out for some sunlight.

We Chinese say that a father’s children are as dear to him as his very heart.Now all of a sudden,I see how a father is as dear to the daughters as their own hearts are to them.These two brave girls have proven to their father that they love him and cannot be without him.

This is much more than a conventional discussion of filial piety or familial harmony.

Love is something so delicate and its bonds so tender,that when you do realize it,you will have already been silently and intangibly surrounded by love’s ardor,and can only surrender yourself to its tight and unbreakable bond,to lay and bask in its sweetness.

What is sweeter than having one’s own daughter’s liver inside oneself?And what’s more assuring than having one’s liver transplanted for one’s own father?

Family is the harbor for children, and parents are always there to protect them.The harbor provides shelter from the storm’s pounding rain and gale force winds that could tear apart what is not protected.

I like to drink,but recently I have found myself hesitating.I think of the love between Haozi and his daughters and no amount of alcohol could possibly give me a stronger thrill than that.Without the company of high spirits,it is my tears that purify my soul.My daughter happened to call me and asked how I was doing.I told her the story of Haozi.She went silent for a few seconds before saying,“Dad,I’d do the same for you.But could you look after yourself better?Can you smoke and drink less?”

I ran my hand over my abdomen where my liver is and started a bit of a dialogue with it,saying,“Liver, you will be alright.”

Looking from my vantage point perched atop a hill at the buildings down below,I saw so many windows,lit like fireflies buzzing around a still pond at dusk.Families behind the glass,living out their lives with so much love among the members that the thought of it left me feeling completely warmed over,numbed and tingling in the glow.

This world is such a beautiful place.I should drink to celebrate Haozi’s recovery,or perhaps,it would be best not to drink.Maybe I should take a refreshing nap.Ridding myself of the idea of drinking, I became quite clear on that,filial piety may be a state of being,but love requires action.

(FromThe Northerner,November 2015.Translation:Zhang Lei.)