我的秘密工作午夜心靈之約

Its easy to feel paranoid1） walking home alone from a club at 2 am—especially in a new city. Your ears are ringing as you walk back to your halls. The unfamiliar streets seem especially dark and eerily2） quiet. Right now youd give anything just to hear a friendly voice.

Whether its freshers week3） or exams week， a university nightline service can be a life-saver， sometimes literally4）. Nightlines are student listening services that open in the small hours5）， relying on student volunteers to run and publicize the service. Nightline currently provides emotional support to over 1.5 million students， with 36 branches based at over 90 universities and colleges across the UK and Ireland.

As a former volunteer for Voice， the University of Exeters student nightline， I know first-hand6） how rewarding—and challenging—the role can be.

On a typical shift， Id arrive just before 8 pm， ready for the 12-hour shift ahead. There were usually two or three volunteers a night， depending on whether it was a busy time of the year， such as the exam period. Someone would put the kettle on and bring out the snacks， and wed all chat， watch a movie or get on with coursework.

I would meet new people on most nights， but there was always a sense of camaraderie7）. At around 11 or 12 pm， wed climb into makeshift8） beds and sleeping bags， always with one person next to the phone. The ringtone was loud so there was never any worry about sleeping through.

The number of callers varied every night， which kept us on our toes9）. Sometimes no one would call， and on other nights the phone would ring minutes after I stepped through the door.

Some calls left me feeling very tired. During one of my earliest sessions there was a distressed caller at three in the morning， and the call lasted almost two hours. But it always feels good to know a conversation is genuinely making a difference to someone.

The majority of calls I answered were from students who were either homesick or just wanting reassurance walking home alone， but I was trained for anything： from prank10） calls to people on the verge of suicide.

The anonymous11） part of this job can be upsetting.

Tessa， 19， has done night shifts totaling 250 hours for Exeters Voice nightline， and finds the work can take its toll12）. "Very distressed calls from students can be emotionally taxing13），" she says. Her most memorable call was with a final-year student with declining grades and appalling14） issues at home that no one knew about.

"They had obviously been holding on to all of this emotion for a while without talking about it，" says Tessa. "Its then that the anonymity part of this job can be upsetting； I have no idea what happened to that caller. On calls like that， you form a relationship. You become emotionally invested in their story."

The peer-to-peer element of student nightlines helps callers to feel more comfortable than they might talking to staff counsellors. Steven Mills， who set up a nightline service at Robert Gordon University in 2013， says： "In my own experience of the universitys counselling service， I felt that the older counsellors didnt quite get me." He says， "I think peer-to-peer [services] can be more relatable； callers can talk more freely and informally."

Interactions over Facebook and Twitter allow students to reach out at any time of the day， and publicity for nightlines also often relies on social media. Will Vasey， 22， general coordinator of Exeters Voice nightline， says his branch now posts on YikYak15）. "We always post when were open and seem to get a cracking16） response with plenty of upvotes. Its always really heartwarming to see comments from people on Yaks saying we helped them out，" he says.

University wellbeing17） services can often be over-subscribed， with month-long waiting lists. For students with mental health issues who are waiting to speak to professionals， nightlines provide anonymous help and comfort in the interim18）. The times of day that nightlines operate are also when students can feel most vulnerable.

Since nightlines rely on their confidentiality19）， volunteers must remain anonymous， telling as few friends as possible about their role. As such， it can sometimes feel like thankless work. But Tessa best sums up why we do it： "When callers end the conversation saying they feel a little better， it makes the shifts when we dont have any calls， the waking up in the middle of the night， the missing out on social plans with friends， all seem worthwhile."

凌晨兩點獨自從學校俱樂部步行回家，你很容易感到膽戰心驚，特別是你還身處一個陌生的城市。在返回宿舍的路上，你的耳朵嗡嗡直響。陌生的街道顯得格外黑暗，安靜得詭異。此時此刻，你愿傾己所有，只為聽到一個親切友好的聲音。

無論是在新生周還是考試周，大學生夜間熱線服務都可能會成為一個“救命”的平臺，有時真的會救人一命。夜間熱線是在凌晨時段面向學生開放的夜間傾聽服務，全憑學生志愿者管理和宣傳。夜間熱線目前已設置了36個站點，服務范圍覆蓋英國和愛爾蘭的90多所大學和學院，已為150多萬學生提供了情感支持。

作為埃克塞特大學學生夜間熱線“聲音”曾經的一名志愿者，我的親身經歷使我知道這項工作是多么令人受益，又是多么富有挑戰性。

一般輪到我值班時，我會在晚上八點前就位，準備好接下來12個小時的值班工作。通常一晚上會安排2～3名志愿者，具體人數取決于是否是一年里比較忙的時間，如考試季。有人會燒上一壺水，拿出零食，然后我們就一起聊天、看電影，或是繼續做自己的課程作業。

大多數夜晚，我會見到新的志愿者，但我們彼此間總有一種志同道合的情誼。晚上11或12點左右，我們爬上臨時湊合的床，鉆進睡袋，這時總有一個人睡在電話旁。電話鈴聲很響，所以我們從來不用擔心睡得太熟錯過來電。

每晚的來電數量都不一樣，所以我們必須時刻注意著。有的時候一整夜都沒有人打來電話，又有的時候我剛踏進門沒幾分鐘電話鈴就響了。

有些來電讓我感覺十分疲憊。在我剛當志愿者時值班的那些天里，有一天一位難過的求助者凌晨三點打來電話，這通電話持續了將近兩個小時。但是，知道一次對話能真正對他人有用，總是讓人感覺很好。

我接聽的大部分電話都是那些想家的學生或一個人走路回家只想找點心理安慰的學生打來的，但我接受的訓練包括了方方面面的情況，無論是惡作劇電話，還是幾乎就要自殺的人打來的電話。

這份工作要求匿名，這可能會令人感到郁悶。

19歲的特莎在埃克塞特“聲音”夜間熱線值夜班已經累計有250小時了，她發現做這項工作會耗損心神。“那些異常痛苦的學生打來的電話可能會讓我們在情感上嚴重內耗。”她說。最讓她難忘的一通電話是一位大四學生打來的，這位同學成績下滑，家里還出了別人都不知道的大事。

“很明顯他們這種情緒已經忍了有一段時間了，一直沒向他人傾訴過，”特莎說道，“每到這時，這份工作必須匿名的要求就讓人很郁悶。我不知道打來電話的那個人發生了什么事，而接聽那樣的電話，你和來電者之間就會建立一種關系，你會在他們的故事中傾注自己的情感。”

學生夜間熱線“同齡對同齡”的服務模式讓來電者感覺比同輔導員傾訴更自在。2013年在羅伯特戈登大學設立夜間熱線站點的史蒂文·米爾斯說：“從我個人在大學進行咨詢服務的經歷來看，我感覺那些年長些的輔導員并不是很能理解我。”他說：“我覺得這種同齡對同齡的[服務]更能搭建聯系，來電者可以不必拘束、暢所欲言。”

學生們可以通過Facebook和Twitter在一天中的任何時間與志愿者進行互動交流，而夜間熱線的宣傳也常常依賴社交媒體。22歲的威爾·瓦齊是埃克塞特大學夜間熱線“聲音”的總協調人，他說目前他所在的站點會在YikYak上發帖子。“我們在夜間熱線的開放時間經常發帖，反響似乎很好，有很多人點贊。看到Yak上人們評論說我們幫助他們走出了困境，這總是讓人覺得非常暖心。”他說。

大學心理健康服務往往有太多人申請，光等候名單上的人就排滿了一個月。對于那些有心理健康問題、等著要與專業人士談心的學生來說，夜間熱線在這段過渡時期里為他們提供了匿名的幫助和安慰。夜間熱線開放的時間段也是學生們會感覺最脆弱的時候。

由于夜間熱線有賴于其機密性，志愿者必須保持匿名，盡可能不告訴身邊的朋友自己在做什么工作。正因為這樣，有時會感覺做這個工作沒人感激。但是，特莎最好地概括了我們為什么要做這份工作：“當來電者在結束談話時說他們感覺好些了時，所有那些沒有一通來電、半夜被鈴聲叫醒接電話、錯過與好友聚會的值班夜晚都似乎因此而變得很值得。