麻煩阿姨

I’ve been binge-eating all through the Spring Festival and gained so much weight. I hate myself！ Dear Ayi， how can I lose it quickly？

Stuffed Steve.

Back in my day， we starved for two days and ate a single meal of gruel made of corn on Spring Festival Eve. Look at what modern times have done to you， you 饞鬼 （ch1ngu@， greedy guts）， you 吃貨 （ch～hu7， glutton）. Lose it quickly？ 想得美！（Xi2ng de m0i！ Dream on！） Try all the 針灸 （zh8nji^， acupuncture） and 火療 （hu6li1o， fire treatment） you like， but it won’t help you overnight. Just shut your mouth and go work out. Haven’t you heard？ 三月不減肥，整年徒傷悲。（S`n yu- b ji2nf9i， zh0ng ni1n t% sh`ngb8i. If you don’t start to lose weight in March， you will be left with sadness for the whole year） I can get you a discount on a nice 健身卡 （ji3nsh8nk2， gym membership card）.