The Non-romantics

By Wang Xiaolei Translation： Yu Lan

The Non-romantics

By Wang Xiaolei Translation： Yu Lan

In Jin Yong’s fiction, the most romantic character would have to be Huang Yaoshi1. After the death of his wife, he piled up masterpieces and relics by the jade coffin of his wife,making the chamber a small museum.In order to follow his wife, he designed a romantic way to die: he built a giant boat and took her coffin with him,standing at the boat head, blowing the jade flute and sinking with the boat.

Unfortunately, no matter what he did, he could not change the fact of his wife’s death. Thus, his behaviors impressed us as romantic but lack of practicality. In comparison, the obtuse and straightforward Guo Jing2seemed to be more realistic: bringing Huang Rong3a pack of food, though smashed.

Guo Jing didn’t spend a fortune on this food. He took it from Yang Kang4.Seeing the delicate food, he thought of Huang Rong and carried it in his bag. Unexpectedly, he encountered strong enemies on the road, fighting and running all the way. When he met Huang Rong, the food was all smashed and broken.

The first reaction was feeling ashamed, just like all honorable men without decent gifts. He said:“These are not edible” with a red face, throwing the scraps into the lake. However, Huang Rong stopped him and said: “I’ll eat it.” She ate while crying, taking out a white handkerchief and wrapping the remainder. She said with a smile: “I will eat more later.”

In order to win the heart of Huang Rong, Ouyang Ke5put all his eggs in one basket but failed. He even came to Peach Blossom Island to study so that he could get closer to Huang Rong. He deliberately chose a subject that required the most time—the Skill of Five Elements and Eight Diagrams. Isn’t it romantic that a young man from a well-off family studied advanced mathematics for a girl, torturing himself with calculus and analytic geometry? Ordinary girls would be deeply moved, but Huang Rong didn’t even take a look at him.It was instead the little surprise of the dumb Guo Jing that captivated her.

In Jin Yong’s fiction, surprises like these are abound and were all made by non-romantics—for example, Zhang Wuji6.

He went to Khanbaliq, the hectic capital of Yuan Empire on the excuse of searching for his foster father.In the dim light of the night the muddleheaded Zhang went into the tavern he used to drink with Zhao Min7and found her sitting inside.

This is the most romantic encounter in Dragon Buster. The first reaction of Zhao Min was jumping up with surprise, saying: “Why, why are you here?”with a shivering voice. It’s obvious that she felt thrilled.

It was because Zhang Wuji had never forgotten Zhao Min that they could meet in the old tavern.Compared with the appointed date, this kind of encounter brings people more surprise and affection. This is why Zhao Min loved Zhang Wuji.

The candid Di Yun8is also a non-romantic. In a big snow valley, he argued with a girl named Shui Sheng9and refused to set her free. However,he stayed by her side for a whole day. Later, Shui Sheng stopped calling him “big bad wolf” and called him “Brother Di” instead.

There is a kind of surprise called the nonromantics. They are not romantic but they are reliable. People like Guo Jing, Zhang Wuji and Di Yun don’t know the skills to pick up girls but they master the most basic trick of being a human. They move girls with sincerity. Bringing the smashed food, Guo Jin was not creating romance. Instead,he was only trying to bring the girl little happiness and that was what a girl called romance. ◆(From Lecture Room, November 2017)

在金庸小說中，要論浪漫，誰也浪漫不過黃老邪：妻子過世了，他十年如一日，在玉棺旁堆滿傳世名畫和珍貴文物，把墓室擺放得像個微型博物館。為了給夫人殉情，他還給自己設計一個浪漫的死法，專門造了一艘大游船，要帶著妻子的玉棺揚帆出海，自己則傲立船頭，吹著玉簫，和船一起沉沒。

只可惜，即使他為妻子做了再多浪漫的事情，都無法改變妻子去世的現實，反而顯得很不實在，遠遠不如木訥、憨厚的郭靖為黃蓉做的一件事——給了黃蓉一包吃的，一包被打得稀巴爛的點心。

這些點心，郭靖一分錢都沒花，是小王爺楊康送給他的。郭靖見這些點心很精致，想到“黃蓉賢弟愛吃”，便揣了一包在懷里。不料接下來他迭遇強敵，又是打架又是逃命，等掏出這些點心給黃蓉時，點心早已經“或扁或爛，不成模樣”。

郭靖的第一反應是害臊，就像所有驚覺禮物拿不出手的男人一樣，“紅了臉，道：‘吃不得了。’拿起來要拋入湖中”。黃蓉卻紅了眼圈，回答了又驚喜又感動的三個字：“我愛吃。”她邊吃邊哭，還拿出雪白的手帕，把剩下的爛點心仔細包好，“回眸一笑，道：‘我慢慢吃。’”

歐陽克為了追黃蓉，把各種套路都用盡了，黃蓉卻看不上。他為了和黃蓉多接近，居然異想天開，要來桃花島上課，還故意選了一門最耗時間、可以在島上賴得最久的學問——五行八卦之術。一個高富帥為了追女同學，不惜去報高等數學班，用微積分、解析幾何來折磨自己，這難道不浪漫嗎？一般女孩子想想都感動得發暈吧，可黃蓉不正眼瞧他。反倒是憨厚的郭靖帶給她的小驚喜，能把她一舉擊中。

市售金銀花在帶有溫度控制的鼓風干燥箱中干燥成絕干物質作吸濕試驗用, 分析純濃硫酸(重慶川東化工有限公司化學試劑廠)。

金庸小說里，這樣動人的驚喜還有很多，都是些不浪漫的人做出來的，比如張無忌。

他借口找義父，越過千山萬水跑到車水馬龍的元大都，夜色之下，孤身一人，信步街頭，竟然渾渾噩噩地走進了曾和趙敏吃飯的小酒館，卻發現趙敏也正呆坐在里面。

Notes:

1.Huang Yaoshi: A fictional character in the novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes.The master of Peach Blossom Island.

2.Guo Jing: The protagonist of the novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes. He is described to be “dumb,” slow in learning and inarticulate.

3.Huang Rong: The daughter of Huang Yaoshi, and later became the wife of Guo Jing.

4.Yang Kang: A fictional character in the novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes.He was adopted by Wanyan Honglie, the sixth prince of the Jin Empire and was raised as a Jurchen noble.

5.Ouyang Ke: A lecherous young men who enjoys preying on young and beautiful maidens,especially Huang Rong.

6.Zhang Wuji: The fictional protagonist of the novel The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber by Jin Yong.

7.Zhao Min: One of the two female leading characters in the novel The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber by Jin Yong. She’s titled Princess Shaomin.

8.Di Yun: The protagonist of the novel A Deadly Secret.

9.Shui Sheng: Main character of A Deadly Secret. She is suspicious of Di Yun initially but falls in love with him gradually as she sees his kind nature.

這是《倚天屠龍記》全書里最浪漫的一次相遇。趙敏的反應是霍地站起，“啊”的一聲叫出來，低聲道：“你……你怎么會來？”語聲顫抖，顯然心中極為激動。

因為張無忌心中一直想著趙敏，才會“意外”地來到兩人曾經吃飯的地方。和那些早已約好的情侶相比，這種相遇顯然更會帶給人驚喜和感動。這也難怪趙敏會喜歡張無忌。

老實厚道的狄云也是個不浪漫的人。在一個大雪谷里，他和女孩水笙賭氣，不肯給她解穴，卻在她身邊目不交睫，守了一天一夜。從此，水笙對他的稱呼就從“大壞蛋”變成“狄大哥”了。

有一種驚喜，叫身邊有個不浪漫的人。他們不浪漫，但是一定要靠譜，就像郭靖、張無忌、狄云。他們不懂套路，卻暗合了人性中最基本的套路：越真摯，越動人。就像郭靖的碎點心，他不是在制造浪漫，只是在努力給你帶來小的驚喜。其實，這才是一個女子認為最浪漫的事情。◆

身邊不浪漫的人

文/王曉磊 譯/于蘭

（摘自《百家講壇》2017年第11期）