I Won
2017-12-21 19:17:54陳傳光
中學生英語·閱讀與寫作 2017年11期
陳傳光
Last Friday， our school holds① a sports meeting. I went to school earlier than usual. I took part in the Boys 100-metre race.
There were six boys in the group. At first， Zhang Hao， a boy from Class 3， ran the fastest. I tried my best but② caught up with him. We were neck and neck. The race was over， and I came out first. The PE teacher told me that I did well at③ the last few seconds. I did my best in the race and I will do my best in everything.
江蘇省連云港市贛榆區羅陽中學七（3）班 張倩
點評
1. 優點：
本文講述了作者參加體育比賽獲得第一名的經歷?？少F之處在于，作者在體育比賽中獲得了啟示：做每件事都要盡力做好。整篇文章文字流暢、用詞得當，是一篇不錯的學生習作。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①holds改為held。結合時間狀語Last Friday，此處應使用一般過去式形式。
②but改為and。上下文之間是并列關系，不是轉折關系。
③at改為in。in搭配時間段，意為“在……時間里”。
3. 評分：
按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分25分的評分標準，本文修改前可得23分。endprint
