幽默小故事

張恒

Farmers Patch1

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well， but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought， he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day， the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read， “Warning！ One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide2.” The kids ran off， made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmers sign. When the farmer returned， he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing， but the sign next to his read， “Now there are two！”

農民的土地

從前有一個農民種了很多西瓜。他的西瓜種得不錯，但是當地幾個孩子總來搗亂，他們晚上溜到他的西瓜地里偷吃西瓜。經過深思熟慮之后，他想出了一個好主意，覺得肯定能嚇走這些孩子。他做了一個標牌放在西瓜地里。第二天，那些孩子出現了，他們看到標牌上寫著：“警告！這塊地里有一個西瓜已經被注射了氰化物（劇毒）！”孩子們跑開后也做了一個標牌放到了農民的那塊標牌旁邊。農民回來后去查看自家的西瓜地，發現一個西瓜都沒丟，但是他的標牌旁邊有個標牌上面寫著：“現在有兩個了！”

Two Potatos

One day two potatos， who were best friends， were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb3 and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured potato called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured potato was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and painful wait， the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured potato， “I have good news， and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through. The bad news is that hes going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”

兩只土豆

一天，兩只土豆，一對摯友，沿著街道一起走著。他們走下馬路沿兒的時候，一輛快速行駛的轎車從街角拐過來，撞飛了他們中的一個。沒受傷的土豆趕緊撥打911，盡全力幫助他受傷的朋友。受傷的土豆被送往醫院急救，并馬上接受了手術治療。在一段漫長而痛苦的等待之后，醫生終于出現了。他告訴沒受傷的土豆：“我有一個好消息和一個壞消息。好消息是你的朋友會度過難關。壞消息是他下半輩子都會是一個植物人了！”endprint