愛是良藥

文/露絲·薩瑟蘭譯/王祥鋼許效禮

愛是良藥

文/露絲·薩瑟蘭譯/王祥鋼許效禮

朋友和家人生病，我們前往探視是有原因的。這不僅僅是送去安慰。我們內心都清楚，良好的關系會讓我們都感到愉悅。

There’s a reason why we go to visit friends and family when they’re taken ill, and it isn’t just to deliver grapes1葡萄（葡萄汁、葡萄酒）在希臘羅馬文化中象征著歡樂和慈愛；在基督教文化中則象征著上帝的恩典和救贖。此外，西方有葡萄可治頑疾一說，稱為“葡萄療法”（ampelotherapy）。. We all intrinsically know that good relationships make us feel better.

[2]有證據表明，這不單純是一種感情上的反應。實際上，良好的關系有助于預防疾病，加快康復或防止病情惡化。嚴格說來，“開懷大笑是良藥”的老話也許未必正確，然而，至少，這是良藥處方的一部分。

[2] Well now there is evidence that this isn’t purely an emotional reaction; good relationships can actually help to prevent illness, help us recover more quickly or prevent deterioration of health conditions. The phrase ‘laughter is the best medicine’ may technically not be true, but it seems it should at least be part of the prescription.

[3]顯然，在預防和調治疾病方面，我們得另辟蹊徑，尋找新的方法了。越來越多的證據顯示，同朋友、家人和愛人的關系中包含著部分解決之道。比方說，病情危及生命時，關系穩固者，較之于關系欠佳者，其存活的幾率要高50%。

[3] It’s clear we need to find new and different ways of preventing and managing health conditions, and a growing body of2a body of 大量（知識、信息）。evidence suggests that relationships with friends, family and partners may hold some of the answers. For example, those of us with strong relationships are 50% more likely to survive life-threatening illness than people with weaker ones.

[4]可是，正當我們亟須關系穩定的時候，生病造成的影響卻會給關系帶來壓力。生病和治療帶來的影響有可能改變我們的生活方式，使人生氣、內疚、傷心和焦慮。但病情也可以使人們變得親密無間，提醒大家什么才是重要的，并給周圍的人以機會，能夠通過一些很實際的方式，表達關愛之情。

[4] However, just when we need them most, the effects of living with a health condition can put our relationships under strain. The effects of a condition and treatment can change our lifestyles and lead to anger, guilt, grief and anxiety. But health conditions can also bring people close together, reminding us what’s important and giving those around us a chance to show in some very practical ways just how much they care.

[5]久病調治的關鍵往往在于適應自身新常態，無論是面對自身疾病，還是作為患者的伴侶、家人或朋友。

[5] The key to managing a long term condition is often about making the adjustment to your new normality, whether that’s facing an illness yourself or as a partner, family member or friend to someone who is3此處省略someone who is (facing an illness himself)。.

[6]無論得病對于關系的影響是好是壞，久病幾乎都會影響人際關系。很多時候，尋求某種外來的支持，是有好處的。

[6] Whether for better or worse, few relationships are unchanged by the effects of a long term health condition, and there are times when all of us would bene fi t from some extra support.

[7]如果久病影響到關系，自己又疲于應對，那就應當坦然無懼地尋求支持。下面幾條建議可以讓你們的關系煥發異彩。

[7] If you’re coping with the effects of a long term health condition on your relationships, don’t be afraid to ask for support. Here are some tips for keeping your relationships rich:

[8]有事不要悶在心里：

人們難過時，對朋友或家人往往情愿避而不談。可是，開誠布公的交流真的很重要。

[8]Don’t bottle it up:It can be tempting to skirt around4skirt around對某事避而不談。the issue with friends and family in case people get upset, but open communication is really important.

[9]預計到變化：要意識到，支配你們關系的種種原動力有可能發生改變，尤其是在愛人或家人擔任“陪護”角色的情況下。此時，不要輕易猜度雙方對這一改變會有何感想。

[9]Expect change:Realise that the dynamics of your relationships may change, particularly if a partner or family member is taking on the role of‘carer’. Don’t make assumptions about how this will make you both feel.

[10]為親密關系留出時間和空間：如果是配偶關系，則應當每隔一段時間便使自己不再扮演病人/陪護的角色，拿出時間與愛人親密相伴。也許可以在家里專門布置一個房間，在這個房間里，上述角色不復存在了，兩人可以共度美好時光。

[10]Make time and space for intimacy:In a couple relationship, try to separate yourself from the patient/ carer role now and again to allow time for intimacy with your partner. Perhaps create a special room in the house where these roles no longer exist and you can spend quality time together.

[11]聽取他人建議：“咬緊牙關硬撐”是很容易出現的情況，但是向中立的第三方傾訴一下感受，備好應變之策，對你處理好關系的變化會是有益的。□

[11]Consider counselling:It’s tempting to keep a ‘stiff upper lip5stiff upper lip（面對困難）不動聲色，面不改色。’, but talking to somebody impartial about how you feel and putting mechanisms6mechanism途徑，辦法。in place can help you cope with the changes in your relationship.

Love Is the Best Medicine

ByRuth Sutherland