Mrs. Taobao’s Blissful Sweet Memories

By Sujeewa Polgampala [Sri Lanka]

Shopping on Taobao is something I’ve never experienced before I came to China. It’s truly an interesting experience.

My amiable Chinese friends created an account for me. The first time I purchased something on Taobao and the goods reached my home, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Being a Buddhist I was then badly in need of a small Buddha statue for my religious observations and rituals, so I decided to buy one on Taobao.I searched for a “golden dainty small statue,” with a second click of the button, the order was done and I waited impatiently. I received the goods in three days.Gently opening the package, I saw my god, sacred and serene,the figurehead of my faith. Oh,my goodness! To my surprise,it was not a statue but a few packets of colorful sequence beads, a tiny bottle of glue, and a piece of cloth with a sample picture of Lord Buddha. This gave me extra homework to add to my already hectic schedule and extracurricular activities.Getting courage, I started to glue the sequence with my darling little son. Days… weeks… months passed, we’ve just made little progress. Alas! It became like a dream.

Unfinished pasting by Sujeewa Polgampala

Sujeewa Polgampala is a teacher educator from Ministry of Education, Sri Lanka, and currently a PhD candidate majoring in Higher Education in HUST, Wuhan. She loves traveling and has visited many places in China in the past three years.

I have a bunch of such funny experiences. Like every other person in China, I was counting down the days for the “Big Shopping Day 11:11,” and poised my alipay account ready for bulk item payments. I was then in Hainan Province participating in the second Belt and Road Conference. Throughout the day,I searched and added to my cart until late into the evening when my cart was full of reserved items I had been eyeing.

在淘寶上購物，是我來中國之前從未經歷過的事情。

我的中國朋友為我建立一個賬戶。第一次在淘寶上買東西時，我簡直不敢相信自己的眼睛。

當時，我急需一尊小佛像，來完成我每天的宗教儀式，便決定在淘寶上尋一尋。輸入關鍵詞“小金人雕像”，按幾下按鈕之后，下單程序完成，我開始焦急等待我的小佛像。三天時間，貨物收到。輕啟包裹，我看見了……上帝啊！那不是一尊雕像，而是幾包彩色的珠子，一小瓶膠水，和一塊布，上面有佛像圖。這給我已經很忙碌的日程表增添了一項額外的家庭作業。我鼓起勇氣，和我親愛的兒子一同開始這項巨大的工程。一天又一天，一周又一周……幾個月過去，進展寥寥，不知何日才能完工。

類似的經歷，我還有很多。和許多中國人一樣，“雙十一”來臨前，我也為之倒計時，并且充好我的支付寶賬戶。當時，我在海南省參加第二屆一帶一路會議。白天，我在網上搜索商品，直到晚上把我的購物車裝得滿滿當當。

那天，我迷上一個精美的靠墊套，一下買了兩件。然而，和上次一樣，包裹到達時，我又傻了眼。這次我收到的，是幾卷彩色絲帶，一些絲線，和一根針。我哭笑不得，轉念一想，不如把這個包裹轉贈給我那位愛八卦的阿姨。她老是吹噓自己縫紉手藝高超，這份禮物一定能幫她好好打發時光。

我丈夫和朋友們給我起了個綽號——“淘寶太太”。他們時不時取笑我，有時還很讓我抓狂。

你可以叫我購物狂。不得不承認， 有時，購買新鞋、手提袋或者服裝的愿望能讓我把當前的計劃拋諸腦后，滿淘寶搜尋一些能給我帶來快樂的東西。這聽起來可能有點老套，但對大多數女孩來說，服裝店就像個避難所， 在那里她們可以自由地用華服和美鞋表達自己。我也是其中一員。 每當我有了點錢，就會想給我的生活添些新玩意。我喜歡世界各地的商品，但價格常常會成為阻礙，淘寶讓一切變得簡單，所以我逐漸成為它的忠實用戶。

On November 11, I went crazy for a cushion cover designed with dainty colors of ribbon embroidery and ordered two of these works of art. However, just like my experience with the Budda statue, when the parcel arrived, it turned out to be one yard of multicolored silk ribbon, a few colored pieces of thread, and a needle.I was at a loss whether to cry or laugh when suddenly an idea hit upon me. Why not send this project to my gossip aunty who wastes most of her time boasting about her sewing? It would be a fine gift for her to spend her time fruitfully.

M y h u b b y a n d b u d d i e s nicknamed me “Mrs. Taobao”.They teased me from time to time,which sometimes makes me lose my temper.

You can call me a shopaholic.I have to admit that sometimes my desire to buy new shoes, hand bags or entire outfits makes me leave all my current plans behind and go searching Taobao shops for something that would make me happier. It may sound corny,but for most girls a clothing store feels like a sanctuary, where they are free to express themselves among gorgeous dresses and fancy shoes. After all, I am one of them and every time I have some money, I experience the desire to bring something new into my life. Usually the price is a barrier when I wanted something international,and Taobao has made things easier, so I gradually became a frequent user of it.

Not all online shopping experiences are joyful; there are disappointments at times with shipping. I’ve had experiences with sellers taking extremely long to finally ship an item. There were times when I never even received the item I ordered. I’ve also received broken items, wrong items, and items that weren’t as described.In the store you can actually see the item, but you have to trust a picture when shopping online.Yet despite all the defects of online shopping, I still enjoy it and accept it as an inseparable part of my daily life.

Due to my poor knowledge of the Chinese language,answering a delivery phone call in Chinese became the toughest task. When I receive the call,the voice on the line will say“Ni de kuaidi zai” then a lot of other words I can’t understand.I use a more polite and timid voice and say, “Qin wen, wa shi waiguoren. Wa dong yidiandian Zhongwen. Ni keyi fa duanxin ma?” I say this the same way a parrot repeats phrases in rote learned chunks. The deliverer,often so considerate, will reply,“Haode, keyi keyi. Wo kuai lai le.”

Since I am a fan of online shopping with Taobao, most of the people at the delivery centers know me. Even without inquiring my name, they would hand over my stuff in order to avoid unnecessarily chaotic situations. Maybe they call me“Mrs. Taobao” as well.

I do enjoy my innocent hobby of online shopping.Buying on Taobao brings subtle delight to my monotonous and rig o ro u s acad e mic schedule, and blissful sweet memories which may prevent me from becoming a victim of“Permanent Head Damage,”a humorous way we use to abbreviate our “PhD.”◆

并非所有的網上購物體驗都是快樂的，有時它也會讓人失望。有時，賣家過很長時間才發貨。有時，我甚至從來沒有收到我訂購的商品。壞件、錯件和不符合網上描述的商品，我都收到過。在商店里，你可以親眼看到商品， 但是網上購物，你得信任圖片。盡管并不事事盡如人意， 我依然享受網上購物的樂趣，認為它是我生活中不可分割的一部分。

由于漢語有限， 接聽快遞小哥的電話成了我網上購物最難的一關。電話接通，快遞小哥聲音傳來：“快遞在……”接著是一大串聽不懂我的中文。我禮貌地小聲回答：“請問……我是……外國人……我懂……一點點中文……你可以……發短信嗎？”我像鸚鵡學舌一樣，一個字一個字地吐出來。體貼的快遞小哥常會這樣回答：“好的。可以，可以。我快來了。”

因為我時常網上購物，快遞驛站的人大都認識我，他們常會直接遞給我包裹，而不再確認我的姓名，免得彼此一團糟。也許，他們也叫我“淘寶太太”。

作為一個網上購物的愛好者，淘寶購物給我單調而嚴苛的學習生活帶來微小的快樂和甜蜜的回憶，或許，還能避免讓我成為“永久性頭部損傷”的受害者，不再是只會讀學術書籍的“博士”書呆子。◆（編譯/柏寧 許曠）