卑微也是我們的朋友

如果你自卑，不要把這視為奇恥大辱。人人都自卑，只是我們戰勝自卑的方式不一樣。承認自卑是正常的，這就是勝利的第一步。

[2]我常常聽到很多人述說自己因為種種理由而自卑，比如個子矮小、家庭貧困、父母雙亡或是單親、受教育的程度太低、不知道某個常識被人恥笑、開運動會買不起新的運動鞋、嗓子太粗不能像夜鶯般美妙、頭太大了、說話帶有明顯的鄉下口音，等等。

[3]如果說這些在一般人的印象中是弱項，從而成為自卑的理由，那么，我們還比較容易理解。我還聽到過有人因為自己太美麗而自卑。那姑娘講，她付出努力所取得的一切成就，都被人歸結為美貌帶來的幸運，甚至還有人在話里話外地敲打她是不是運用了某種潛規則。

If you have a sense of inferiority, don’t let it bother you! It is not a disgrace. Actually, everybody has a sense of inferiority.People try to overcome it in different ways.To begin with, let us acknowledge that it is normal to carry within ourselves a sense of inferiority. A good start!

[2] I regularly get tons of letters from people whining about their own sense of inferiority for one reason or another. For instance, they are too short in stature,or short of money; or they are orphaned and live with broken families; or they are under-educated and make themselves a laughing-stock when they betray their ignorance over some commonplace topic,or they cannot afford a new pair of shoes for a sports event; or their voices are too hoarse, obviously unlike the voice of the nightingale; or their heads are too big; or when they open their mouths to speak,they cannot hide their rustic accents, and so on and so forth.

[4]這個清俊的女生滿懷幽怨地說：“我為我的相貌而深深自卑。我很想去整容，把自己整得丑陋一些，這樣就可以抬起頭來做人，人們就會認識到我是一個有內在價值的人。

[5]“不騙你，我真的到整形醫院去了，可整形師說從來沒有接收過這樣的病例，他想不出如何操作……”

[6]對于人人都自卑這件事，我是百分百相信。你若是不信，可以抽空看看名人的傳記。幾乎沒有一個名人不談到自己是自卑的。而且按照咱們上面列舉的自卑理由，他們也都是“師出有名”的。

[3] The items listed above could be generally accepted as personal disadvantages and constitute some basis for a sense of inferiority, which is understandable.However, I heard of someone who has an inferiority complex due to her good looks.The girl complained that everything she had accomplished through her own hard work had been imputed by backbiters to her good looks—some even hinting at shady deals.

[4] With sad resignation, this delicate beauty told me: “I suffer from a deep sense of inferiority due to my looks. I had wanted to get a facelift, to get a plain face, so that I could hold up my head and let people see that I am a person with innate values, not just a pretty face…”

[5] “To tell you the truth,” she continued, “I did go to a beauty salon with my request, but the beautician said he had never heard of such a request, and had no idea how to go about it…”

[6] I absolutely believe that everyone has a sense of inferiority. If you have doubts, just check the autobiographies of famous people—they invariably suffer from inferiority complex, and can give you a list of their de fi ciencies.

[7]“我不如別人。我自卑，所以，我不停地努力。當年從鄭州打到國家隊的時候，沒有一個人肯定我，他們全說一米五的我打球不會打得如何。為了證明給他們看，我快發了瘋，每天都比別人刻苦，我知道我的個子不如別人，別人允許有失敗的機會，我沒有。我只能贏，所以我打球兇狠，那是逼出來的。后來我成功了，別人又說我沒有大腦，只會打球。于是我發瘋地學習，英語從不認識字母到熟練地和外國人對話。我不比別人聰明，我還自卑，但一旦設定了目標，就絕不輕言放棄，什么都不用解釋，用勝利說明一切！”

[8]這段話是誰說的啊？相信你看完了，就會知道，這是獲得過十八個世界冠軍、得過四枚奧運金牌的鄧亞萍。

[9]也許你要說，這么偉大的人，我們就不好比了。那容我再來錄上一段普通人的自卑史。

[10]“我曾經是個非常自卑的人，即使是現在，自卑還常常在， 我覺得自己很多地方不如人。我不如A聰明，不如B睿智，不如C有才，不如D貌美如花……我只是一個普通女子，不善言，不會搞各種關系，我只會寫字，通過寫字證明我自己。感謝我的自卑，它讓我越挫越勇，它讓我覺得不如別人，讓我不敢停步，讓我在人生的路上，一路堅強。”

[7] “I am not as good as the others; I must never stop trying. When I left the Zhengzhou team to join the national team in Beijing, nobody thought much of me.The general verdict was that, being only 1.5 meters in height, I would ‘never go far’. I knew that I was at a disadvantage in height. To prove myself, I practiced non-stop. Other players could afford to make a mistake and still keep going. Not me. I must keep winning. That is why I play so desperately. I had no second chance. “I achieved success. Then people started saying that I was a brainless batswinger, that playing ball was all I knew.So I took up English, studying like mad.Starting from scratch, I ended up chatting easily with native speakers. I am not smarter than the rest, plus I have a sense of inferiority. But once my goal is set,nothing will stop me. There is no need for words. Victory speaks for itself!”

[8] Now who is this person speaking?By the time you finish reading the passage, you will realize that it is none other than Deng Yaping, the ping-pong athlete who had been world champion for eighteen times, and won four Olympic gold medals.

[9] Now you may complain that it is not fair to make us compare ourselves with such a celebrity. Then let us try reading the story of an ordinary person and check out her history of self-depreciation.

[10] “I used to have an inferiority complex; even now I feel myself to be very inadequate compared with other people.For instance, I am not as smart as A, not as wise as B, not as talented as C, and not as good-looking as D. I am just an ordinary girl, slow of speech and not good at making connections. All I do is putting words together. Through words, I found my own identity. Thanks to my low selfesteem, I never stop trying to improve myself, and never stop working to keep up with the pace of life itself!”

[11]這位女子的文章常常見諸報端，你打開《讀者》《青年文摘》等刊物，經常會看到她的文章。

[12]我手邊看到的資料說到，因為出演了《色·戒》而再次獲獎的梁朝偉，就說自己一直是個非常自卑的人。名人尚且如此，遑論我等俗眾！

[13]不要把自卑看得那么可怕，這是人人都享有的一個特點。其實這話說得有語病，既然是人人都有，就不能說是特點了，只能說是常數，對于一個規律性的東西，實在沒有害怕的必要，從容對待就是了。因為渺小的人類對于浩瀚的宇宙來說是自卑的。孱弱的嬰孩對于偉壯的成年人來說是自卑的。短暫的生命對于無涯的時空來說是自卑的。我們的種種欠缺和無奈，對于光明的期望和理想來說是自卑的。

[14]剛才說了那么多自卑的合理性，并非要大家就對自卑安之若素。其實，你接納了自卑，你把自卑當成一個朋友，它就會以意想不到的方式來幫助你。

[11] Despite her self-depreciation, this young woman’s articles often appear in the pages of popular periodicals such asReaders, orYouth Digest.

[12] Glancing through the papers, I came across the news that Liang Chaowei, who had won another prize for his role in the new fi lmLust,Caution, actually has very low self-esteem. Now if even celebrities have low self-esteem, what can you say for the rest of us small fry?

[13] Well, I suggest that we should not be bothered by a sense of inferiority; it is more or less common to all of us. We should regard it not as an exception, but as a rule. For something that is common to us all, it is futile to fear it or try to get rid of it. Let us just live with it. We are small fry, and so what! We should accept that our brief lives, seen against a background of boundless time and space, are insigni fi cant,and that our imperfections and helplessness, compared to the glorious prospects of the future, are also insigni fi cant.

[14] Having said so much in defense of our sense of insignificance, it does not mean that we small fry should resign ourselves to living comfortably with our feelings of inferiority. Actually once we have accepted it as a friend, it will help us in unexpected ways.

[15]為了戰勝自卑，我們就會更加努力。因為自卑的持續存在，我們或許會比較少驕橫。因為自卑，我們記得渺小和尊崇，這未嘗不是因禍得福呢！

[16]阿爾弗雷德·阿德勒認為，人從一出生就伴隨著自卑感，之后需要用一生的時間，去提高自己的技能、優越感和對別人的重要性。

[17]這樣看來，卑微也是我們的朋友，卑微里也有不容小覷的力量。 □

[15] For instance, eager to overcome our sense of inferiority, we work harder. Due to the persistent sense of inferiority, we are less prone to arrogance. Likewise, we remember the little things; we remember respect.This is not a bad thing for the small fry.

[16] Alfred Adler had said that a sense of inferiority follows a man the day he is born and he spends a lifetime trying to improve his skills, his sense of superiority as well as the consciousness of his own importance to other people.

[17] From this angle, we might say that a sense of inferiority is a friend of us small fry, and that it has a power of its own! ■